Gawker: Vows

Poorly-Timed Lehman Weddings In Times

Ryan Tate — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:48:32 EDT

Go figure: There were two Lehman Brothers-related weddings announced in Sunday's Times. The "for poorer" section of the vows must have rung brutally even before the company officially headed for bankruptcy, since the company was clearly in trouble before the weddings took place Saturday.

The poors might sympathize with the plight of the Lehman investor relations VP married to a fancy Yale doctor, since it can't be easy being a gay in the testosterone-soaked world of financial services. The VP for junk bond sales (pictured), however, is pure schadenfreude fodder.

Teddy Roosevelt may be charming; and we're terrified of the wrath of his new wife Serena Torrey, who runs marketing and business development for New York magazine. But the uninitiated reader will note only that the Lehman exec is the great-great grandson of Theodore Roosevelt, and probably got his doomed job through, you know, connections.

From his Times bio. "His father is a managing director and investment banker at Lehman Brothers in Manhattan; he is also the chairman of the firm’s council on climate change." As a tipster put it, "sure hope he cleaned out his desk before heading off to the honeymoon!"

[Idea via Choire, Photo New York Times]

Someone is Marrying Chris Kattan!

ian spiegelman — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:44:48 EDT

Chris Kattan, who played that apple-eating monkey-type thing on Saturday Night Live is marrying model Sunshine Tutt in Yosemite Valley, CA, today. "'Originally I was going to do something very special,' Kattan told People about the engagement. 'I tried to get Bono of U2 to serenade her. That didn't happen. Then I asked Justin Timberlake. No answer. After hundreds of phone calls and text messages, I finally ended up asking one of the members of the Hanson group. He didn't want to get involved.'"

Chaste Couple Always Within 15 Feet Of Each Other

Ryan Tate — Thu, 15 May 2008 07:24:43 EDT

Michael Roach is a naughty, naughty Buddhist monk. The former New Yorker sleeps with a woman, which is a big no-no among Tibetan Buddhists. But by "sleeps with," he says he literally just means "falls asleep next to" his, uh, partner, Christie McNally, a former NYU student and fellow teacher who lives with him in a yurt in Arizona. Roach claims the two are chaste, engaging only in an "intense hands-on physical relationship" not at all carnal. None of the other monks are buying this. The Dalai Lama's office actually denied Roach permission to teach in India. Of course, corrupt, selfish Gothamites will hardly judge the couple, who insist on always being within 15 feet of each other, any less harshly after they were profiled this morning in the Times Home & Garden section (WTF? For the yurt?). So let's take an Altarcations-style look at how disturbing this couple really is to those of us who believe in sex, material possessions and all those other wonderful things:

Michael Roach and Christie McNally

Buddhist teachers: +2
Live in Arizona: -3
Live in a yurt with no running water or electricity or DVR or even Bravo: -5
Remain within 15 feet of each other at all times because they vowed to "never part:" -15
(-3 of that is because he gets inspired in the middle of the night and she has to then wake up and follow him 100 yards down the road to his office so he can "work".)
(-4 of that is because they actually inhale and exhale in sync with one another.)
(-2 of that is for eating from the same plate and often reading the same book.)
(-6 of that is because "When she uses an airport restroom, he stands outside the door.")
The wife uses the honorific "Lama," usually only given to a male teachers under Tibetan Buddhist tradition: +3
Many other couples — like, from around the world — flock to them for relationship advice: +3
They managed to piss off the Dalai Lama: +1
His monk friends tried to get him to choose between her and them and he chose her. Then they asked him to give up his robes, citing "two milleniums of Tibetan Buddhist tradition" and he refused: +3
He kept her secret during a three-year silent retreat in the desert and started talking about her only after he figured out they could be caught on Google Earth: -3
He went to Princeton: +2
She went to NYU: +1
He once amassed a personal fortune by turning an upstart jewelry company into a $100 million per year business: +3
They met when she was a student in the seminar he was teaching in New York: -2
After they met, "they began to see each other as angels:" -3/barf
They go to movies, probably in their robes and everything. She is into the Matrix, he into the Truman Show: +2
No sex or carnal touching, ever: -69

Total points: -80
Consolation prize: Nirvana

[Times]

(Photo: David Sanders, New York Times)

Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal Are A Success!

aswerdloff — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:50:29 EST

The Weddings and Celebrations in the Sunday 'New York Times' are a textual analysis-rebuffing, context-free and statistically random series of events described objectively that have nothing to do with the fact that you're single and still using that one dirty towel after you shower. You HUMAN FILTH. Intern Alexis judges the vows.

Which is more matrimonabulous: Having the judge you once clerked for officiate at your wedding—or mentioning in your announcement that you were among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor? Let's see, shall we?

Sandra Gelbard & Tony Uzan

Couple married at the Waldorf-Astoria: +2
Dr. Gelbard-Uzan, 35, is an internist in private practice in New York; she specializes in cholesterol management, weight loss and preventive medicine. She is also a clinical instructor of medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital, and was among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor: +13
Tony is a managing consultant with the global business services division of I.B.M.: +2
He has an MBA from Northestern; She has a medical degree from SUNY Stonybrook: +2
Tony is over 35: -1

Total: 18

Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal

The bride and bridegroom met at Harvard, from which they both received law degrees, she cum laude and he magna cum laude: +10
Alixandra graduated magna cum laude from Harvard: +4
Daniel graduated magna cum laude from Amherst: +2
Alixandra is a law clerk in the Newark chambers of Judge Julio M. Fuentes of the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit: +2
Mr. Richenthal, 30, is a litigation associate in the New York office of Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr, the Washington law firm: +2
Judge Robert D. Sack of the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit officiated at the wedding. The bridegroom had served as his law clerk from 2005 to 2006: +5
His mother is a teacher at the Hi-Ho School, a nursery school in Bedford. His father is a partner in Richenthal, Abrams & Moss, a New York law firm bearing his name: +4

Total: 29

Douglas O'Connor And Jeanne Conway Are Happier Than You

aswerdloff — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 14:10:25 EST

The Weddings and Celebrations pages of the Sunday 'New York Times' don't have to be read. You can totally pass it by! Then you won't feel bad that you had Wheat Thins for dinner all alone last night and let your ex-boyfriend sleep over last week, you unmarriageable piece of mess!

Since measured earnestness appears to be the new condescending eye roll 'round these parts of late, and since holiday season is upon us, we're not going to make fun of the bride with the mother named Buttons. (Ha! BUTTONS!) No, instead, we are going to celebrate the heartwarming, straight out of a Nancy Meyers screenplay, tale of Jeanne Conway and Douglas O'Connor. Watch us!

For Douglas's use of the phrase "I remember it vividly!" twice: +2

Jeanne grew up riding polo ponies in Loudonville, NY, played field hockey and drove a convertible that matched her camel hair coat: +3

Though they dated for two years in the 1950s, "There was no hanky-panky": +3

Shortly after they parted ways in 1954, after Jeanne's father passed away and Douglas was sent to Georgia for military training, Douglas read about Jeanne's marriage to someone else in the New York Times - "I remember it vividly... I'm at Fort Bragg in the 82nd Airborne Division jumping out of airplanes and I pick up the Sunday New York Times and whose picture do I see but the girl of my dreams?" For this being both very proto-"Sex and the City" and very meta: +4

Douglas went on to marry, not one, but two Mary Alices: +4

They corresponded via condolence letters when their significant others passed away: +3 for the sweetly macabre factor.

When at last the two rekindled their relationship, it became, according to Jeanne "'a magic slate' upon which they 'can write anything they want.' They became inseparable. 'If I'm not with Jeanne, I feel like I'm just waiting to be back together with her,' he said. 'It's that kind of relationship.": +2

Their marriage at the Church of Vincent Ferrer on the Upper East Side, according to reporter Lois Smith Brady, was "much like one they might have had in the 1950s. Guests in flip hairdos and wing-tip shoes sang 'Amazing Grace'": +2

Total: 23

Victoria Lim And Peter Sheren Got Married Three Times

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:45:35 EDT

Do you believe in love? Perhaps you do! But you totally definitely believe in money. Because it's very hard to love when you have no money and you're hungry! The Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' is where money and love meet, and where our Intern Alexis finds that in the mix, someone always comes out the winner.

There's something about high-powered bankers based in Hong Kong that just sends us into a tizzy. For some reason, we just find it really impressive. So sue us! And even though there was a couple with a hipster photo, Katie Couric's executive assistant, someone named Cheshire Webb III, a former White House intern who helped write the traditional Thanksgiving speech in which a turkey receives a pardon, S.I. Newhouse's nephew and a TV news reporter whom Magee Hickey referred to as "a sex kitten and a smart reporter," it was three-wedding-ceremonies-having Victoria Lim and Peter Sheren who sprinted to the lead.

Victoria Lim and Peter Sheren

They were married by an Episcopal priest: +1

They had a Jewish ceremony in Washington and a Korean ceremony in Soeul — making that three ceremonies in total!: +3

Groom is Jewish and bride is Asian: +2

Victoria is keeping her name: -1

Victoria is a is a vice president for investment banking in the Hong Kong office of Credit Suisse, specializing in capital markets and mergers and acquisition advice for technology companies in the Asia-Pacific region; Peter is a vice president for stock sales and trading in Hong Kong for a securities unit of JPMorgan Chase, specializing in sales and trading for hedge funds in the stock markets of the Asia-Pacific region. For both being fincancial big wigs based in Hong Kong: +10

Victoria graduated from Stanford: +1

Even though the couple went to the same high school mixers in the early 1990s, when she was at Madeira in McLean and he was at St. Albans in Washington... they did not meet until half a decade, and half a globe, later. For both attending schmancy DC-area private schools: +3

Total points: 19

Samantha Gregory & Roberto Benabib Are High On Love

aswerdloff — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 13:40:15 EDT

Great news! Did you know that the Weddings and Celebrations section of the 'New York Times' exists to transform you on a lazy Sunday afternoon from Kathy Griffin to Cathy Guisewite? It's true! Studies show that reading what we used to call 'Vows' actually sets your internal feminism and self-esteem clocks back eight years. Anyhoo, put down that Ben & Jerry's, unloved fatty, and let's see who won the battle of the marriages this week!

Sometimes, even when a black Harvard grad marries a white Harvard grad, a child of a Kingston dignitary marries a child of a Kingston dignitary, a Democrat marries a Republican, a turkey-shooting Yale grad marries a turkey-shooting Yale grad and a Phish phan marries a Phish fan , it's the socialite and the Weeds executive producer who ultimately steal our hearts.

Samantha Gregory & Roberto Benabib

Samantha's parents are "of New York": +1
She is the vice president for global communications at Tory Burch, a fashion company in New York, and an associate of the Society of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. Philanthropy + Tory Burch: + 5
She graduated from Brown: +1
Her mother, Jamee Gregory is on the board of the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, Venetian Heritage, a monuments preservation group, and on the women's board of the Boys' Club of New York. She is the author of "New York Apartments: Private Views" (Rizzoli, 2004): +5
Her mother is Super Socialite Jamee Gregory!: Another +5
The bride is keeping her name: -1
The groom is 16 years older than the bride: +2
He is the executive producer of Weeds!: +6

Total: 24

"Men's Health, the largest men's lifestyle ...

Emily Gould — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 12:45:04 EDT

"Men's Health, the largest men's lifestyle magazine brand, today announced a media partnership with The Knot, the #1 wedding website, to launch the 'Ultimate Proposal Boot Camp' plan. The program will help guide over half a million men planning to 'pop the question' during engagement season, running November through February." Hold up: There exists engagement season now? Ladies, start chewing your creme brulée extra carefully when you're in the romantic candlelit restaurant, cause there might be a ring in there! Related: does this mean that Men's Health editor Dave Zinczenko is ready to quit tomcattin' around and resign himself to providing only his Rose McGowan-lookalike new girlfriend, Brit actress Melissa Milne, with subpar oral sex for all of eternity? Ah, romance!

Virginia Boyd And J. B. Lockhart IV Will Share Her Steamship Inheritance

Emily Gould — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 14:10:01 EDT

"The concept of marriage must have been thought up by an unimaginative pig," Albert Einstein once said. Every week, Intern Alexis reads the Times' Weddings And Celebrations section to see who's still buying the concept, and, by extension, each other.

Though former Conde Nast bigwig Steve Florio's son was in the house this week, as was a former "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast and the conductor of the Boston Pops, it was Virginia Boyd and J.B. Lockhart IV who brought the ruckus to the Times wedding pages. It was a descended-from-a-steamship-baron kind of ruckus! Who can fight that kind of power?

Virginia Boyd & J.B. Lockhart IV: 31 points

Virginia's mother is "of New York": +1

J.B.'s parents are "of Greenwich, CT": +1

J.B Lockhart is a "IV": +4

They were married by an Episcopal priest: +1

They met while graduate students at Harvard: +7

They both graduated from Yale: +5

Virginia summa cum laude: +3

Virginia is a lawyer: +1

Her father was the chairman of the Boyd Steamship Corporation, a shipping agent founded by a great-great uncle of the bride in 1909: +3

J.B. is an I-banker: +2

From 2002, J.B.'s father was the deputy commissioner and the chief operating officer of the Social Security Administration in Washington: +3

'Black Book' Editor's Hurricane Love Affair Ends In Wedding

Joshua Stein — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 11:50:42 EDT

Steve Garbarino, the sorta Jeff Daniels look-a-like editor in chief of Black Book magazine, met his new wife when on "a snowy night in March 2005, at Hudson Bar and Books, in Manhattan, [he] was holding court with friends and drinking a dark and stormy." Garbarino, says the Times, "made some ridiculous drolleries, told some tales, bragged a bit about the HBO [show]—which did not come to fruition." Really, this sort of thing works? On some women apparently.

Her name is Maddy Simpson. She's an ex-model and, although it went unmentioned in the writeup, she has been a stylist, sittings editor and photography editor for Black Book. The story of their love borders on farce, a parade of romcom clichés you swear you've seen in some movie with Andie McDowell but can't find on IMDB.

A week after their first date:

[S]he visited him at his pied-à-terre behind the Chateau Marmont hotel in West Hollywood.
"Maddy fell in love with my place as much as me," Mr. Garbarino joked.

As for his feelings, he said: "Maddy had this cool that felt right, not trendy pretensions. And she had these one-liners....."

Mr. Garbarino soon abandoned his pied-à-terre. "I decided on the Fourth of July to pack up, and move back to New York, at first to her little apartment, then to our own place," he said.

Cut to a medley of packing. Steve is in his underwear. Some styrofoam packing peanuts have gotten stuck in his virile chest hair. Maddy gingerly picks them out. They both laugh uproariously and start throwing peanuts at each other by the handful. Later they make love on a bed of them. It is ill-advised. Later Maddy develops a yeast infection from an errant piece of foam. Belle and Sebastian's "I'm A Cuckoo" plays in the background.

Later, the couple tears off to Hunt Slonem's Louisiana plantation in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

Childhood dreams of the life of Scarlett O'Hara ran through my imagination," Ms. Simpson said. "It was our romantic respite before we had to go face the reality of what we were about to see of New Orleans." They fastened the shutters and "waited for the roof to be blown off," Mr. Garbarino said. When the electricity failed, they lighted candles and ran through the cavernous rooms, laughing....
As the storm howled, he proposed on the grand staircase. "It was love in the ruins," Mr. Garbarino said.

"Shelter From the Storm" plays as the two make love on the staircase. What the...?

Maddy Simpson and Steven Garbarino [NYT]

Josiah Hornblower And Jocelyn Hunter Were 'Born Rich'

aswerdloff — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:00:08 EDT

Every week, Intern Alexis combs the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Times and clues us into which members of the elite class are pooling their resources. This week's column is a day late cause she was at a wedding over the weekend! Alanic.

A slew of good 'uns this week: Ondine Karady and New York Times reporter James Rutenberg were married by Times political correspondent Adam Nagourney in Montauk, Times-man Sam Roberts' son got married, Sarah Gegenheimer, the deputy communications director for Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, married Frederick Baldassaro Jr., former deputy communications director for Gifford Miller, but it was Josiah Hornblower, great-great-great-great-great-grandson (yes, that's 5 "greats") and subject of our Favorite Documentary Ever "Born Rich," and his wife Jocelyn Hunter, who came out on top this week.

Jocelyn and Josiah: 20 points

Jocelyn has an M.B.A. from Stanford: +2

She works in M&A for a software company; Josiah manages investment funds: +3

Josiah is a great-great-great-great-great-grandson of Cornelius Vanderbilt, the railroad magnate, and a descendant of Josiah Hornblower, a delegate from New Jersey to the Continental Congress: +5

The bridegroom, according to the Times, "was one of the subjects of Born Rich, a 2003 documentary directed by Jamie Johnson on children born to wealth." For being "born to wealth," our favorite kind of thing to be born to!: +10

"A report on Oct. 24, 1988, about the marriage ...

abalk — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 10:00:38 EDT

"A report on Oct. 24, 1988, about the marriage of Amy Levine and David Abrams, misstated where the bride received her undergraduate degree. She graduated from Brown University, not Boston University. Amy Abrams only recently called attention to the error." [NYT]

Seth Mnookin Gets Mnarried

aswerdloff — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 14:57:55 EDT

Every week, Intern Alexis combs the Times' Weddings and Celebrations section, seeing which notables have joined the ranks of the marrieds. Good luck to all these poor suckers; we're certain they will all be posting on messageboards about their issues with "DH" in no time.

Shout outs this week must be given to the Martha's-Vineyard-vacationing Harvard heavyweights Teresa Clarke and John Ellis, the incesty-seeming Sachs-Sachs union, the former Pentagon interns Ensign Tilney and Major Burke, whose romance blossomed and bloomed on the sandy airfields of Kuwait, and the hippie-dippies Rose Friedman and Justin Lander, the latter of whom caught the former's attention by eating a raccoon. Holla to you all. But none of these people could compete with this week's winners.

Sara James and Seth Mnookin: 27 points

Both Sara and Seth are Conde Nast employees (she the fashion news editor of Men's Vogue, he (apparently still) a contributing editor at Vanity Fair): +10

Sara is keeping her name: -1

Sara's mother owns a surf shop: +2

Sara is the author of the "What If..." series of young adult novels: +2

Seth's acupuncturist conducted the ceremony: +1

Seth is the author of two hard-hitting books: Feeding the Monster: How Money, Smarts, and Nerve Took a Team to the Top, about the owners, executives and players who took the Boston Red Sox to the World Series championship in 2004, and Hard News: Twenty-One Brutal Months at The New York Times and How They Changed the American Media, an account of the Times under the editorship of Howell Raines: +5

Seth is being celebrated in the newspaper that he criticized. So, for pulling an "Anne Hathaway now on the cover of Teen Vogue": +5

Seth graduated cum laude from Harvard: +3

Is it incredibly romantic or sort of creepy ...

Emily Gould — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 14:25:25 EDT

Is it incredibly romantic or sort of creepy that New Pornographer A.C. Newman's bride walked down the aisle to the Velvet Underground's 'I Found A Reason'? Maybe it's just sort of codependent. Maybe romance and codependence are inextricably linked? [NYM]

Do-Gooding Lawyers Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon Will Save Us All

Emily Gould — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:35:19 EDT

Every week, when the Times devotes a section to informing you that some people who are richer and smarter and just all around better than you are have found their soulmate lifepartners, Intern Alexis surveys the damage and tallies up the totals. Also, in case you were wondering? No, you'll never find anyone. Anyone good enough, at least.

Though this week brought us a groom with eight world records in ultramountaineering, a Ford model, a Purple Heart award-ee, a daughter of the former mayor of Scardsale, and a former Blues Clues writer, the Altarcations crown went to Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon, two well-bred lawyers saving the world one Turkic-speaking Uighur at a time.

Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon: 26 points

Alison is the director of pro bono services at the New York Legal Assistance Group a nonprofit organization in New York that provides legal services in civil cases to low-income people; Wells is a lawyer on staff of the Center for Constitutional Rights and is working on its Guantanamo Global Justice Initiative, challenging the detention of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay by the United States. For both being super-duper do-gooding lawyers: +7

Alison graduated magna cum laude from GW: +2

She received a law degree from NYU: +1

Her father is the president of Sclater Partners Architects in Seattle, a company bearing his last name: +2

Jonathan Wells Dixon goes by his preppy middle name: +3

Wells wears a polka-dotted bow-tie in his photo: +1

He graduated cum laude from Johns Hopkins: +1

He received a law degree from University of Colorado, where he was the editor in chief of the law review: +2

His parents are "of West Hartford, CT": +1

His mother is on the board of the Noah Webster House and the West Hartford Historical Society: +2

His father is the chief of rheumatology at Hartford Hospital where he serves on the board's executive committee: +1

They started dating while both assigned to help seven Uighurs, Turkic-speaking Muslims from western China, who were being held at Guantanamo Bay. "That case made me realize he was the person I wanted to spend my life with," Alison said. "We both felt so passionately... as lawyers, we have the ability to do something about it." For their earnestness: +4

Bride is keeping her name: -1

Meghan O'Rourke And James Surowiecki Win Forever

Emily Gould — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 13:50:56 EDT

Every week, Intern Alexis tallies up the points earned by couples vainglorious enough (or Times-employed enough! Awww!) to have little biographical blurbs about themselves in the Styles section. This week, Slate literary editor, Paris Review poetry editor and lauded poet Meghan O'Rourke and New Yorker staffer James Surowieki totally won. How could they not? You can all stop dating now!

Meghan O'Rourke and James Surowiecki: 818 points

Meghan is the literary editor at Slate and a poetry editor the Paris Review: +400
She graduated magna cum laude from Yale: +4
She received an MFA from Warren Wilson: +1
Her parents are "of Easton, Connecticut": +1
Her parents run the "St. Ann's of the north," The Pierrepont School: +3
James is over 35: -1
Meghan is keeping her name: -1
James is a staff member of the New Yorker: +3
Both couples, at one point, worked at the New Yorker: +2
Combined, the couple has authored two books that we have heard of: +400
James graduated with highest honors and highest distinction from UNC at Chapel Hill: +3
His parents are "of Cheshire, CT": +1
James' father is the principal of St. Marin de Porres Academy in Hamden; as mentioned, Meghan's mother is the head of school at Pierrepont. For both bride and groom having principal parents: +2

Previously: Why People Hate Meghan O'Rourke

Super WASPs Emily Johnston & Matthew Adler Are Half Jew

aswerdloff — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:35:51 EDT

Every darn week, the New York Times Weddings and Celebrations section reminds you that you're either not nuptialed or not nuptialed well enough. So each week Intern Alexis helps us pay ironic or sincere tribute to the victors of the game of love!

It looks like those wacky knuckleheads from the State Department got to Sunday Styles before we did! The wedding announcement for the winning couple (Rebecca Ingber: a legal counsel at the State Department; Anton Metlitsky: Soon-to-be clerk for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts) are nowhere to be found online, and somebody "disappeared" the Styles section from Gawker HQ. Coincidence? In any case, this lack of proof that the couple exists disqualifies them. Sorry Ingber-Metliskys!

So this means that the Altarcations crown goes to super-WASP couple Emily Johnston and Matthew Adler (who would have been WASPier if Matthew weren't a Jew)! The couple were married at a house in Old Lyme, CT, built for an ancestor of the bride, Matthew Griswold, who was the governor of the state in the 1700s AND ol' Emily's a descendent of a signer of the Declaration of Independence (one of two this week!). But now they don't need that independence—it's a life of fidelity and partnership for them!

The would-be victors: Rebecca Ingber, Anton Metlisky

Couple met at Harvard Law School: +7
She graduated cum laude; he magna cum laude: +3
She graduated cum laude from Yale: +3
Rebecca works as a lawyer in the State Department: +2
Her father is a partner in the law firm Ingber & Ingber: +2
Anton is to become a clerk to John G. Roberts Jr.: +2
He graduated summa cum laude from Penn: +4

Total: 23

The real winners: Emily Johnston, Matthew Adler

Couple married at a house in Old Lyme, CT, that was built for an ancestor of the bride, Matthew Griswold, who was the governor of Connecticut from 1784-1786: +4
Emily graduated from U Mich cum laude: +1
Emily's father retired as an engineer; her mother was a preschool teacher: +3
Emily is also a descendent of Oliver Wolcott, a signer of the Declaration of Independence, who served as governor of CT from 1796-1797: +5
Matthew works for a company of which is father is the president: +2

Total: 15

Runners-up: Elizabeth Stewart, Andrew Cohen

Elizabeth's parents are both "of Riverside, Connecticut": +1
Andrew Cohen's parents are "of New York": +1
Couple married at the weekend house of the bridegroom's mother in Water Mill, N.Y.: +2
She has an MBA from City University London: +1
He, from Columbia: +2
Andrew is an i-banker: +1
Elizabeth's father is a senior vice president for aviation services at General Electric; her mother is a preschool teacher: +3
Andrew works for an investment management firm of which his father is the president: +2

Total: 13

Second runners-up: Laura Worth, Phillip Ingle

Laura's parents are "of New York": +1
Laura "until last month" taught at St. Bernard's; Phillip is an I-banker: +3
Laura is a direct descendent of Carter Braxton, a signer of the Declaration of Independence: +5
And a descendent of Chief Justice John Marshall, who presided over the Supreme Court from 1801-1835: +3

Total: 12

Also-rans: Alexandra Flood, Samuel Alcoff

Bride is a second grade teacher at Hewitt; Bridegroom is a director of a hedge fund: +3
Alexandra received a MA in education from NYU: +1
Her parents are "of Washington, CT": +1
Samuel graduated from UPenn: +1
He received a law degree from Villanova: +1
The couple met at the International Debutante Ball at the Waldorf-Astoria where the bride was presented in 1995: +3
Samuel proposed to Alexandra last year at — "where else" — the ball. "I couldn't think of a more interesting place than the ballroom of the Waldorf while the big event was going on," he said.: +1

Total: 11

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +1
Both Investment bankers: +3
Management Consultant: +2
Both management consultants: +5
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Plain lawyer: +1
Clerk for federal judge: 1
Clerk for Supreme Court Justice: +2
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a President: +5
Descendant of a founding father/signer of the Declaration of Independence: +5
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
Bride/groom's father/mother works for a company bearing his/her last name: +2
Bride and groom's father/mother share a first name, plus initial: +4
Married at family's summer home: +2

*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

Susan Amble and Michael Higgins Do Darien Gymnasts Proud

Emily Gould — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 15:01:27 EDT

Each week, the New York Times' Weddings and Celebrations section records the funny ways in which rich people with advanced degrees meet and perpetuate their hegemonic control of our society. Intern Alexis is here to help sort the triscuits from the Carr's water crackers.

This week's winning couple, Darien-raised and Princeton/Harvard-educated Susan Amble and her equally Princeton/Harvard educated groom Michael Higgins, just rocked it. And it didn't hurt that Susan attended International Gymnastics Training Camp with Intern Alexis! They even shared a cabin!

Susan Amble and Michael Higgins: 23 points

Susan's parents are "of Darien": +1

The couple met at Princeton, from which she graduated she summa cum laude: +8

She received a law degree from Harvard; he received an MBA from Harvard: +7

She is a corporate lawyer: +2

He's a trader at Goldman Sachs: +2

Michael's mother is on the board of the Connie Dwyer Breast Center at

St. Michael's Medical Center: +1

Susan is 25, the "ideal" age for a woman to get married: +1

Alexis attended gymnastics camp with Susan: +1

Julia Green and Andrew Shane: 21 points

Couple married by a cantor: +1

Julia is keeping her name: -1

She is a law clerk for a judge for the federal district of New York: +1

Her parents are "of New York": +1

Couple met at Harvard, from which they both received law degrees, she magna cum laude and he cum laude: +10

They both received BAs from Yale, she magna cum laude and he cum laude: +8

Andrew works for Bloomberg LP: +1

Amanda McCormick and Matthew Bacal: 21 points

Matthew's parents are of "New York" and "Fairfield, CT": +1

Amanda is a member of the Young Lions Committee at the New York Public Library: +1

She graduated from Princeton; he graduated magna cum laude from Princeton: +7

She has an M.B.A from Columbia: He has a JD from Columbia: +5

Her father is the chairman of the board of directors of the Swedish Covenant Hospital Foundation: +1

He is the chief scientific officer of McCormick Scientific, a company which bears his last name: +2

Matthew is a corporate lawyer: +2

His father was until 2001 a chairman and the creative director of Griffin Bacal, an ad agency bearing his last name: +2

The Rules:

You know them by now. For the new visitor, please refer to past Altarcations.

Avery Gardiner And Edwin U Are The Pride Of New England

aswerdloff — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 16:46:23 EDT

Every week, Intern Alexis analyzes the results of the Times' Weddings and Celebrations section to figure out who's winning the game of life. Hint: not you!

True, media power couple Pilar Queen and Andrew Sorkin have plenty of industry cred. But they lack the certain indefinable something that makes Avery Gardiner and Edwin U this week's winners. Edwin and Avery were married at Avery's family's summer home in Maine by a former Governor of Maine and both graduated magna cum laude from Harvard where they also received law degrees. Wait, did we say "certain undefinable something"? We meant "enormous piles of money."

Avery Gardiner and Edwin U: 22 points

Wedding officiated by former Governor of Maine: +1

Couple married at summer home of bride: +2

Avery's name is a preppy name: +3

Couple both graduated from Harvard: +5

Both graduated magna cum laude: +4

Both received law degrees from Harvard: +4

Avery is a trial attorney in the antitrust division of the Justice Department in Washington: +1

Edwin is a litigation partner in the Washington office of Kirkland & Ellis, a Chicago firm: +2

N.B. Chick is keeping her name. Uh, OF COURSE SHE IS.

Maya Alperowicz and Justin Florence: 20 points

Both law clerks for Federal judges: +3

Maya graduated summa cum laude from Penn: +4

Maya received a law degree from Harvard, cum laude: +4

Justin graduated cum laude from Yale: +3

Justin received a law degree from Yale: +3

Justin received a MA from Harvard: +3

Samantha Barnes and Gus Christensen: 17 points

Samantha's parents are from Greenwich: +1

Gus's parents are from New York: +1

They were married by an Episcopal priest: +1

Both graduated from Yale: +5

Samantha has an MBA from Northwestern: +1

Gus has an MBA from UPenn: +2

Gus is an i-banker: +2

His mother is a trustee of the Brooklyn Museum and a director of the Citizens' Committee for Children in Manhattan: +2

His father is the chairman of the Prospect Park Alliance and a trustee of the Brooklyn Academy of Music: +2

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +2
Both Investment bankers: +5
Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
Management Consultant: +2
Both management consultants: +5
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Plain lawyer: +1
Clerk for federal judge: 1
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a President: +5
Descendant of a founding father: +5
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
Bride/groom's father/mother works for a company bearing his/her last name: +2
Bride and groom's father/mother share a first name, plus initial: +4
Married at family's summer home: +2

*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

Olivia Cowley & Julian Wassenaar Are Scion-tologists

aswerdloff — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:49:36 EDT

Each week, Intern Alexis tallies up the status indicators of all the couples who've found it necessary to shove their connubial bliss in our faces via the Times Weddings & Celebrations section, so that we can feel superior to them in some small way that we can trick ourselves into thinking is more valuable than material wealth.

Even though we had a great-great-grandchild of William H. Taft repeat this week, it was still banker-on-banker dream couple Olivia Cowley and Julian Wassenaar who came out on top. This essentially perfect couple both received MBAs from Penn, but it was Olivia's super-swank Newport and tobacco connections that sealed the deal.

Olivia Cowley and Julian Wassenaar: 21

They were married by an Episcopal priest: +1

Both received M.B.As from UPenn: +4

Julian also received a master's in IR: +1

Both I-bankers: +5

Olivia graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard: +4

Her mother "offers etiquette advice through the Web site newportmanners.com": +1

Olivia's paternal grandfather was the late Malcolm Cowley, literary critic: +2

Her maternal grandparents were founders of the Newport Jazz Festival: +1

She is also a descendant of Pierre Lorillard, who founded the P. Lorillard Tobacco Company in 1760: +2

Julia Taft and Christof Putzel: 11 points

Julia Taft is keeping her name: -1

But... she is the great-granddaughter of the late Robert A. Taft, Republican senator from Ohio, a great-great-granddaughter of President William H. Taft AND a cousin of Altarcations winner Nathan Taft!: +6

She received a nursing degree from NYU: +1

From 2001-2005, Julia's father was the legal advisor to Secretary of State Colin Powell, and from 1989-1992, the bride's father was the U.S. permanent representative to NATO: +2

Her mother was the assistant secretary of state for population, refugees and migration in Washington from 1997-1001: +1

Christof's mother wrote a biography of Madeline Albright and was a Moscow correspondent for Time: +1

Christof's father was the Moscow bureau chief for the Associated Press: +1

Colette Reiner and Gibson Verkuil: 11 points

Bride and groom received law degrees from Cardozo: +2

Both are corporate lawyers: +5

Gibson's father was the president of William and Mary from 1985-1992: +1

Gibson's mother is on the board of the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts: +1

Gibson's stepmother was the president of the Rockefeller Foundation and the president of UPenn: +2

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +2
Both Investment bankers: +5
Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
Management Consultant: +2
Both management consultants: +5
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a President: +5
Descendant of a founding father: +5
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
Bride/groom's father/mother works for a company bearing his/her last name: +2
Bride and groom's father/mother share a first name, plus initial: +4

*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

Mazel Tov, Cathy Chavkin and Daniel Schmerin!

aswerdloff — Mon, 21 May 2007 16:25:37 EDT

We tried as hard as we could to make Emily Larned and Christian Ruggiero the winning couple this week (we loved their Wesleyan-Brown artist and MTV-theme-song producing ways... they seemed straight out of The Emperor's Children by Claire Messud which we are currently reading, [Emily: It's so good, right?] but, alas, they really couldn't compete with Cathy Chavkin and Daniel Schmerin, who were all Penn magna cum laudey out the ass.

Cathy Chavkin and Daniel Schmerin: 19 points

Daniel's parents are "of New York": +1

Couple met during freshman year of college: +2

Both graduated magna cum laude from UPenn: +7

Cathy received a master's in contemporary art from Sotheby's Institute of Art: +1

Cathy's father is a partner in a law firm; mother is a nursery school teacher: +3

Daniel works at the State Department: +2

Daniel received two master's degrees: +2

Daniel's mother is the vice chairwoman of the board of trustees of the American Friends of Tel Aviv Museum of Art: +1

Monica Ferguson and Cameron Murphy: 16 points

Monica's family is from Greenwich; Cameron's from New Canaan: +2

Monica received an M.B.A from Columbia: +2

Monica is an i-banker; Cameron works at a hedge fund: +5

Both Monica and Cameron's fathers work for companies bearing their last names: John J. Ferguson is a senior partner at Ferguson, Aufsesser, Hallowell & Wrynn and John J. Murphy is the founder and senior principal of Murphy Capital Management: +4

Monica and Cameron's father share the same first name, plus initial: +3

Elizabeth Angell and Victor Brand: 14 points

Elizabeth Angell's parents are "of New York": +1

The bride is keeping her name: -1

She's a senior editor at Allure: +1

She graduated magna cum laude from Harvard: +4

She has a master's ~~in American history and literature~~ from Columbia: +2
(The bride writes: "I have an MFA in creative writing from Columbia, not a masters in history. This mistake belongs to the New York Times, not you, and while I sometimes wonder if I should have bought myself a masters in something like history, I must live with my decision to invest in an MFA.")

The bride's parents are members of the board of the Robert Packard Center for ALS Research at Johns Hopkins University: +1

Mrs. Angell is the vice chairman of the board of WNYC: +1

Mr. Angell is on the board of the Henry Street Settlement: +1

Mr. Brand is a freelance writer and researcher who specializes in art: +1

He graduated cum laude from Davidson: +1

He received a master's in creative writing from Columbia: +2

Emily Larned, Christian Ruggiero: 14 points

Both have parents from CT suburbs: +2

Bride is keeping her name: -1

Emily is working toward a Master in Fine Arts in graphic design at Yale: +3

Emily's "father is the chairman of the Brooklyn Improvement Company, founded in 1866 by Edwin C. Litchfield, the bride's maternal great-great-great grandfather, to create the Gowanus Canal": +3

Emily's art has been collected by more than 60 universities, libraries and museums: +1

Christian graduated from Brown: +1

He "has also composed and produced the theme music for several MTV shows": +2

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +2
Both Investment bankers: +5
Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
Management Consultant: +2
Both management consultants: +5
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a President: +5
Descendant of a founding father: +5
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
Bride/groom's father/mother works for a company bearing his/her last name: +2
Bride and groom's father/mother share a first name, plus initial: +4

*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

Eliza Harrington & Minor Myers III Seem Very Nice

aswerdloff — Mon, 14 May 2007 17:18:24 EDT

As noted philosopher Carrie Bradshaw once put it, the New York Times wedding announcements are "the straight woman's sports pages." Altarcations is all about scoring the game. Each week, we evaluate the latest newlyweds, based on an elaborate rating system, described below.

With a name like Minor Myers III, you best believe you'll be making an appearance right here. MMIII (pictured!) and his lady Eliza Harrington came out on top this week, racking up a total of 17 points. They're all up in the Society of Cincinnati, an association of descendants of the officers in the American Revolutionary War, and as you know, there is nothing that makes us weaker in the knees than descendants of the officers in the American Revolutionary War. Word.

Eliza Harrington and Minor Myers III: 17 points

Minor's name is "Minor": +1

Minor is a "III": +2

Minor's parents are from Mystic, CT: +1

They were married at Anderson House, the home of the Society of Cincinnati, an association of the descendants of the officers in the American Revolutionary War, of which the bridegroom is a member: +2

Minor's father wrote two books about the Society of Cincinnati: +1

Eliza is a doctor: +2

Eliza graduated from Harvard: +2

Eliza's father is on the board of trustees at Sibley Memorial Hospital: +1

Minor was a corporate lawyer and is to be a visiting professor at Brooklyn Law School: +2

Minor received a law degree from Yale: +3

Jennifer Merzon and Christopher Evans: 15 points

Both received law degrees from Duke: +2

Christopher graduated from Duke magna cum laude: +2

Both are lawyers: +5

Jennifer graduated from Dartmouth: +1

Christopher graduated summa cum laude from Bowdoin: +3

Christopher is on the board of the League Treatment Center: +1

His parents are from Manhattan: +1

Megan Lynch and Todd Johnson: 11 points

Todd's parents are from New York: +1

Megan was an I-banker at Gerson Lehrman "until last month": +3 (for clearly quitting her job right before the wedding)

Todd is a consultant at Bain: +2

Todd has an M.B.A from Dartmouth: +2

And a MA in public health from Harvard: +3

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +2
Both Investment bankers: +5
Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
Management Consultant: +2
Both management consultants: +5
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a President: +5
Descendant of a founding father: +5
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

[Image via]

Soogy Lee & Nathan Taft Are Old But Pedigreed

aswerdloff — Mon, 07 May 2007 16:55:33 EDT

Finally, after doing this for a few months, we've gotten our first great-great-grandson of a President! Yay, Nathan Taft! Not only is he William Howard Taft's great-great-grandson, but he's got two Yale degrees, works in real estate investment and is marrying a corporate lawyer whose own maternal grandmother was something of a big deal—the vice premier of South Vietnam in 1965. Look how far we've come, people! However, somehow, it was still a rather close one this week. William Howard Taft can only take you so far when your bride is 38.

Helena Yu, Anthony Yu: 15 points

Couple shares a last name: +2

Both graduated from Cornell: +3

Helena graduated magna cum laude: +2

Anthony graduated summa cum laude: +3

Helena completing medical degree at U Mich: +1

Anthony completing medical degree at Harvard: +3

Helena at ideal female age for getting married: +1

Eve Brensike & Richard Primus: 15 points

Eve graduated from Brown: +1

Eve graduated summa cum laude from U Mich law school: +4

Richard graduated summa cum laude from Harvard: +5

Richard received a law degree from Yale: +2

Richard was a Rhodes scholar: +3

Richard was a clerk for Ruth Bader Ginsburg: +1

Richard is over 35: -1

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +2
Both Investment bankers: +5
Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
Management Consultant: +1
Both management consultants: +3
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a President: +5
Descendant of a founding father: +5
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

Model Yourselves On Sara Galvan & Luke Bronin

aswerdloff — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 15:52:28 EDT

We tend to be less than impressed with the couples featured in the main Styles "Vows" story. The bride's usually an ex-Rockette and the groom's like a blind rabbi or something. This week's column was an aberration! Sara Galvin and Luke Bronin are basically perfect. Rhodes Scholars who went on to attend Yale Law School, their courtship included boat-rides down the Thames, croquet games, and a road-trip in which they spoke of their dreams of contributing to society in a meaningful way. But it rained at their wedding. Ha! What's more, they went toe to toe in rough competition with a sterling crowd!

Sara Galvan, Luke Bronin: 23 big points!

Couple featured in "Vows" section: +2

Sara and Luke were both Rhodes Scholars: +6

"I spoke to her of my dreams of changing American cities through urban design," said Ms. Galvan, who trained as an architect at the University of Texas. "He spoke of his dream of contributing to society through policy work and politics.": +3

"They began dating in earnest in March of their second year, traveling down the Thames in flat-bottomed boats, playing croquet and traveling to South Africa, Eastern Europe and the Balkans.": +3

Luke graduated from Yale: +2

Both received law degrees from Yale: +7

Married by an Episcopal priest: +1

Rained at wedding: -1

Emily Thacher-Renshaw, Christian Pistilli: 17 points

Couple both graduated from Harvard Law School: +7 (5 for both going to Harvard, 1 each for graduate degree)

Emily graduated cum laude from HLS: +1

Christian graduated magna cum laude from HLS: +2

Emily graduated magna cum laude from Penn: +3

Christian graduated summa cum laude from Haverford: +3

Married by an Episcopal priest: +1

Juliet Sorce, David Weber: 12 points

Juliet's parents are "of Manhattan": +1

Couple met at Yale during their freshman year: +7 (5 for both attending Yale, 2 for meeting during freshman year)

Couple got married at the Yale Club: +2

Juliet received a MA in Italian language and culture from Middlebury: +1

David owns Rickshaw Dumpling Bar: +1

Mimi van Wyck, Ham Morrison: 12 points

Mimi van Wyck is the brother of socialite, event planner Bronson van Wyck: +2

Ham's name is Ham: +2

He's a III: +2

His mother is named Kiwi: +2

Mimi is a partner in Van Wyck & Van Wyck, a company founded by her mother and brother: +2

Ham is a real estate investor and also races stock cars: +2

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +2
Both Investment bankers: +5
Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
Management Consultant: +1
Both management consultants: +3
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional= +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a founding father: +4
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

Sweaty People in Love and Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

lneyfakh — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 16:07:20 EDT

Each Monday, Intern Alexis uses a rigorous scale to rank the happy pair-bonds cemented in the Times wedding announcements. But surely, the Times can't contain all the nuptial bliss to be experienced in the metro area. Ergo, the Post's weddings section, where the couples require a more flexible scale that can take into consideration differences in, say, life experience, and body type.

Last week, we complained that the Post's weddings listings were getting a little too haughty. Today, they sort of redeem themselves. While there are a lot of consultants and bankers on the list, we do get one couple who hired a baseball vendor to sell Cracker Jack at their wedding ceremony and another that does all their marriage-related business while jogging/sprinting. Also there's one Russian girl who is dragging her dark-skinned husband to Moscow so that they can have a second wedding ceremony. All this and more after the jump.

Nathan Kling and Elizabeth Bell

Nathan is an executive assistant for Goldman Sachs: -15

Elizabeth is a researcher-editor at RILM Abstracts, which is a continuously published reference guide to music. Sorta like the Yellow Pages but for bands? +0

Elizabeth, laughing: "I can't wait to start a family, which is good considering that we're expecting a baby fairly soon." This one can go either way, obviously, and even though the Post doesn't give us much on the chronology, but we're thinking what you're thinking: +20

Shared interests: classical singing and swing dancing: +5

Total: 010

Aaron Russell and Pattiann McAdams

The couple met at a party after the annual Shelter Island 10K race: -5

Aaron proposed to Pattiann after "pacing" her to her personal best in the New York City Marathon. He carried the ring in a Tylenol package in his pocket the whole time: -10

They were even running when they got married. That was this spring, during the Boston Marathon. They paused when they got to Heartbreak Hill, exchanged vows, and "ran the last five miles as husband and wife." Imagine how sweaty they were. This is gross!! +15

Apparently the running doesn't end there. For their honeymoond, the couple "plans to compete in the Swiss Alpine Marathon and Tour de France." Pattiann says: "Marriage is a marathon. I know we'll have many finish-line moments together." -15

First dance was to Depeche Mode's "Somebody": -5

Total: -20

Mitali Chakravorty and Percy Jimmy Kapadia

Mitali is director of contract services for K. Russo Associates. Percy Jimmy is a consultant for Deloitte & Touche. He used his office skills to set up "virtual wedding-planning meetings between their Park Slope address and their families in Texas." -25

They have an address in Park Slope: -25

Got married in Lake Travis, Texas, and made a point of incorporating "traditions from their two cultures, Bengali and Zoroastrian." Mitali was carried into the room on a platform. At the end the women of the family ran around in circles seven times "with a cord to signify the union." This sounds ridiculous! Chakravorty explains: "We wanted to blend our cultures with American values." -25

Total: -75

Luis Salgado and Lidia Lozhkina

Luis, 35, is a party planner. Lidia, 21, is an international-relations graduate student at The New School. She is a Russian girl: +5

"Luis proposed to me in Puerto Rico on top of a mountain," Lidia remembers. "We had been climbing all day, and in that moment with Luis, surrounded by clouds, I felt like I was in heaven." +15 for aesthetic living.

Married at City Hall. Going to Moscow next spring for a second ceremony. Word of advise to Luis: people in that country will be scared of you. That is how they were raised. Do your best Borat if the Russian school kids start messing with you. They love that shit. +30 for bravery.

Their song, according to the Post, is Brainstorm's "Maybe." Key lyrics: "My dreams, my head / my sex, my bed / and it's my Corona with lime." Also, the line "Maybe my animals live in your zoo" appears three times: +30 for these hilarious words.

Total: 80

Amy Scheerer and Tom Damato

Amy is a coordinator for fabric development at Coach. "How about this one?" That's probably the sort of thing she is always saying. Her new husband is a marketing associate at MD Sass. "Don't 'sass' me" is probably a joke he has heard sometimes around the water cooler: +10 for having to put up with stuff like that.

Amy is a party girl. She wanted her wedding reception to be a big party: +30 for having the right attitude.

To that end, she threw the wedding at the Carltun in Eisenhower Park. They transformed the space into "a festive lounge with the help of eclectic lighting and a live Caribbean band." +30 for seeing the vision through.

Tom-dog was pumped to hear that he could hire a "ballpark vendor" for the event. So he did! Then that ballpark vendor "doled out boxes of Cracker Jack to accompany the after-hour mini-hamburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches." +100 for going above and beyond.

Total: 170

Tom-dog and Amy win! Now everyone should be clear on the secret to winning at Ad Hoc (the secret to winning at it is mini-burgers).—LEON

Altarcations: Salima Vahabzadeh & Paul Sheppard

aswerdloff — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 16:45:46 EDT

Our hearts flitter-fluttered and our loins were tickled when we read that "Salima Vahabzadeh and Paul Kenneth Sheppard, who are vice presidents at investment banking firms in New York, were married here yesterday." There is little that makes our Sundays more fulfilling than to hear of an i-banker on i-banker union. Not only are the Vahabzadeh-Sheppards both vice presidents of investment banking firms, but Cambridge-grad Paul also earned a Fulbright! Go, Paul, go! Even Barclay Cunningham and Joseph Whitten's WASPy names and famousish forebears couldn't trump Paul and Salima's overachievements!

Salima Vahabzadeh and Paul Sheppard: 16 points

Both vice presidents of i-banking firms in New York: +5

Salima attended Cornell for undergrad: +1

Both received M.B.As from U. Penn: +5

Paul was a Fulbright fellow: +2

Salima is from New York: +1

Paul graduated from Cambridge: +2

Barclay Cunningham and Joseph Whitten: 13 points

Barclay's name is Barclay: +2

Barclay is the descendant of Pierre Laclede, a founder of St. Louis: +3

Joseph over 35: -1

Joseph is a doctor: +2

Joseph has a MA in biomedical sciences and a medical degree: +2

Joseph is the grandson of the late Jamie Whitten, the longest-serving member of the House of Representatives (1941-1995): +3

Both descendants of someone famous: +2

Jenny Huang and Roger Hong: 13 points

Jenny and Roger both graduated magna cum laude from Harvard: +9

Jenny graduated magna cum laude from NYU law: +2

Robert is getting his medical degree from Cornell: +2

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: 2
Both Investment bankers: 5
Job involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +1
Both have jobs involving the word "banker" OR "investment": +3
Management Consultant: 1
Both management consultants: 3
Trader: 2
Both traders: 5
High-powered lawyer: 2
Both high-powered lawyers: 5
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional= +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a founding father: +4
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2

*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s