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New York, 6:54 AM
Wed Dec 9
46 posts in the last 24 hours

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    The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of momo momo
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
     Reply
    momo was starred momo was unstarred
    Image of BadUncle BadUncle
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    In what alternative reality would ESPN have the first female sportscasters? To my recollection, there women covering sports at ABC and CBS in the 60s. Fucking dimwit.
     Reply
    BadUncle was starred BadUncle was unstarred
    Image of pufflehuff pufflehuff
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    TRANSCRIPT FROM INTERN [NB: STILL TO EDIT]:


    "Bored, anonymous, pathetic domestic terrorists who launched Obama's secret muslin career in their front rooms annoy me.


    "I fuck, therefore I conceive. I want to fill my freezer with good, clean, healthy kids. That's what I was raised on. It is abundant and it is available here in Alaska, because I make the ladies pay for the rape kits. Schmape kits! All the more kids for me! That's what we eat. So that's why I hunt and why I fish. It attracts the kids.


    "The secret to motherhood is you gotta have a good strong cervix made outta STEEL in there. I don't know if you can get STEEL commercially in New York. You'd have to come up here and visit me in my home, and I'll prepare it for ya. I know my STEEL cervixes. Cervixi? Hm. Willow! Get in the boat and go across to Pootin's library!


    "Hot? Yes. Yes I am.


    "Unprotected sex, and lots of it. That's the best way to stay warm.


    "After a long day, I cry cry and cry about my wasted life and opportunities and how I used to be a beauty queen and play the flute and these days it's only the skin flute and the tanning bed and I went to that special alfalfa club place for a dinner and no one paid me no mind. Everyone cares more about Bristol's babies than mine. Baby. Baby. One baby. I gotta go now and fetch me some white-choc skinny latte frappucino mocha. Britney's coming over."

     Reply
    pufflehuff was starred pufflehuff was unstarred
    Image of jhva3 jhva3
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    I like how she initially assumed that she could work at ESPN without moving to Bristol(pretty sure they were showing Huskies games and rugby at the time)
     Reply
    jhva3 was starred jhva3 was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    02/05/09

    @jhva3: I thought EXACTLY the same thing. I am not joking. Tooo funny!
     Reply
    Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of gobblegirl gobblegirl
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    She's right about the chili, though. Moose makes the best chili.
     Reply
    gobblegirl was starred gobblegirl was unstarred
    Image of GirlyWhirl GirlyWhirl
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    I kind of like the part where she says "Two meanings in Bristol's name..." and then proceeds to give three meanings.
     Reply
    GirlyWhirl was starred GirlyWhirl was unstarred
    Image of arguablythemostfamous arguablythemostfamous
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    "Hot? If only people could see me as I come in from a run early in the morning without a trough full of makeup on, I think that they'd have a different opinion."


    awkward self compliment there... also, it's soul crushing to think that a woman who ran for vice president would write "gotta" and "ya" in anything public.

     Reply
    arguablythemostfamous was starred arguablythemostfamous was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    how much does that suck that ESPN isn't headquartered in Moosejaw, Saskatchewan??
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of GirlyWhirl GirlyWhirl
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    Overreaching, overexposed, pathetic aspiring politicians who lie annoy me.
     Reply
    GirlyWhirl was starred GirlyWhirl was unstarred
    Image of FreddieBietzsche FreddieBietzsche
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    As my ex, an East Ender, used to say: "Oi, nice bristols!"
     Reply
    FreddieBietzsche was starred FreddieBietzsche was unstarred
    Image of pufflehuff pufflehuff
    02/05/09

    @FreddieBietzsche: I bet he did. Cheeky!
     Reply
    pufflehuff was starred pufflehuff was unstarred
    Image of City_Dater City_Dater
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    Poor Piper...stuck explaining Junie B. Jones to her mother.
     Reply
    City_Dater was starred City_Dater was unstarred
    Image of HouseBunnny HouseBunnny
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    When she's beating her daughter with a coat-hanger or a bag o' wolfs, she calls her "BLISTER!" AND "B-LISTER!"


    True story.

     Reply
    HouseBunnny was starred HouseBunnny was unstarred
    Image of valarmorghulis valarmorghulis
    02/05/09

    @Cindy_McCain: Yes hockey-mummy dearest!
     Reply
    valarmorghulis was starred valarmorghulis was unstarred
    Image of NoWireHangers NoWireHangers
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    Two meanings in Trig's name: I failed trigonometry in high school, and Todd is trigger happy. But also, Trig's is a supermarket chain in Northern Wisconsin, and we all know Wisconsin is famous for cows and cheese. I love cheese. Kraft Singles were just kicking off, just getting off the ground, and I thought that's what I was going to do in life, is be one of the first woman to eat a whole cake of plastic-wrapped processed cheese food product. Until I learned that obesity makes it hard to fit into a tanning bed. So instead, I accidentally got pregnant again and named the baby Trig.
     Reply
    NoWireHangers was starred NoWireHangers was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    02/05/09

    @NoWireHangers: fixed this 4 u: So my teenage daughter got pregnant for the first time and named the baby Trig.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of BrownSuedeShoes BrownSuedeShoes
    02/05/09

    @NoWireHangers: Uh holy crap, I'll be shopping at Trig's in Eagle River Saturday! Oh and also, best bacon on the planet is from Neuske's. Mmmmmmm
     Reply
    BrownSuedeShoes was starred BrownSuedeShoes was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    02/05/09

    @BrownSuedeShoes: No kidding and FREE SHIPPING for just one more day! Damn good bacon and smoked anythingelseyoucanimagine.
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of jrhys jrhys
    02/05/09

    @NoWireHangers: Ha!
     Reply
    jrhys was starred jrhys was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    Without a TROUGH of makeup?


    Did she just allude to herself as a pig?


    That's hilarious if only she were smart enough for it to be a real joke.

     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of mathnet mathnet
    02/05/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: Correct.
     Reply
    mathnet was starred mathnet was unstarred
    Image of mmstk101 mmstk101
    02/05/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: It really paints quite a beautiful word-picture.
     Reply
    mmstk101 was starred mmstk101 was unstarred
    Image of sybann sybann
    02/05/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: A pig with lipstick doncha know.
     Reply
    sybann was starred sybann was unstarred
    Image of gawkimo gawkimo
    02/05/09

    In reply to The Deep, Meaningful Origins of Bristol Palin's Name
    They're like characters in a Larry McMurtry novel that takes place where there is moose chili. . . which I guess would be Alaska.
     Reply
    gawkimo was starred gawkimo was unstarred
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