Apricot variety Donald Trump plans to unveil his bold new economic agenda in a speech today. Many of the worst possible policies, together at last!

The realization that the retirement money of middle-class workers should not be invested in crazy expensive hedge funds is now hardening into conventional wisdom.

As we leave the “Feel-Good Personality Propaganda Celebration” period of the campaign and move into the part where we think about the stuff that may or may not actually get done, here is a relevant data point.

This year, both the Democratic and the Republican platforms say they want to reinstate the Glass-Steagall Act, which separates commercial and investment banking and is generally hated by banks. So what do the real “insiders” think will happen?

The biggest disasters always build up slowly. Here is what history indicates is looming around the corner for us.

Are you planning to retire with a pension? I’m sorry to hear that.

Investors are pulling back from hedge funds in Asia; investors pulled $100 billion out of funds of hedge funds in the past year; the world’s biggest hedge fund is slowing its hiring. I wonder why?

Risk! A short word that keeps the world exciting and dangerous and ultimately destroys us all. In these uncertain times, we pine for the totems of our simple past—like the risk of massive real estate bubbles.

Management experts speak of every company as having “stakeholders”—all of the different people affected by what a company does. If you can rearrange the hierarchy of stakeholders, you can change the world.

The worst thing you can do is to PANIC. So if you are the sort of person prone to PANIC, do NOT read the following facts.

Politico has compiled several anonymous quotes from Wall Street bankers threatening that Hillary Clinton will lose the financial sector’s support if she names Senator Elizabeth Warren her vice-presidential nominee—a somewhat dubious claim that nevertheless makes for a very funny story.

A new survey of investors around the world finds that people have a very simple expectation when they invest their money: they want to get rich, soon, no strings attached.

Many financial types are very confident that China will have a financial meltdown in the near(?) future. The fear is so widespread that you can make a lot of money if China’s stock market doesn’t go to hell.

A recent survey of investors in hedge funds found that 94% of them expected their hedge funds to return at least 9% profits last year. The actual returns of hedge funds last year: -2%.

NEW YORK - Wall Street is roundly rejecting news out of General Mills (GIS) indicating that it will roll out “Tiny Toast,” its first new cereal product in 15 years, later this month. The cereal bowl shockwave could have destabilizing effects throughout the global breakfast economy.

Most of us have a vague sense that huge, multibillion-dollar companies have, like, systems in place to prevent them from making the sort of idiot mistakes that we, normal people, make. Not necessarily true!

Pensions are good. Pensions are worth preserving until something better comes along. But pensions that make impossible promises and cultivate lies are not the pensions we should hope for.

The longer we go without a major financial crisis, the more tempting it becomes for the billionaire investors to jump in with their wager that the next crisis is coming soon. Another master of the universe has officially jumped onto the “doom is at hand” train.

The hedge fund industry is in the midst of a slow-motion disaster, as its biggest investors come to the realization that the fees hedge funds charge make most of them a scam. One hedge fund guy is embodying the industry’s clueless resistance to change, in hilarious fashion!

The good news: the U.S. economy is relatively strong again, with low unemployment and people raring to get out there and spend, spend, spend. The other good news: what goes up just keeps going up!