NEW YORK, 3:41 AM, SAT JUL 19 | 46 POSTS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS | tips@gawker.com | RSS
Posts Tagged “

walnuts

”
walnuts

John McCain's Balls: A Study of Campaign Website Comment Moderation

John McCain's campaign store is a treasure trove of hideous merchandise and, briefly, hilarious commentary. The comments on each item were clearly totally unmoderated, which is always a treat. Would you like to buy some John McCain-branded golf balls? How could you not after reading reading reviews like this: "The downside is that these golf balls almost feel like they've been painted over something that was once pasty white and older than one might think. If I press hard enough I think I can feel some scars, but then again it's never a good idea to press too hard on one's balls. Nevertheless, it might be why these balls tend to get stuck in quagmires or sand." There is so much more! At varying levels of maturity and humor! More »

12:15 PM on Wed Jun 11 2008
By Pareene
3,538 views, 16 comments

Latest by maxfield1: You should always breathe through your nose when tea bagging McCain's balls. Well,I guess that's just common sense when tea bagging in general. more »

walnuts

There Will Come Soft Rains

John McCain would love to see NASA adopt a "better set of priorities," by which he doesn't mean science and stuff, but rather just sending a dude to Mars. Hooray Mars! McCain says he was inspired as a child by reading The Martian Chronicles, a book that tells the story of how humans exterminate native Martians and colonize their planet until Earth descends into nuclear war and everyone goes back to die. He probably doesn't remember any of those details, as he read the book 58 years ago. [AFP]

10:46 AM on Fri Jun 6 2008
By Pareene
625 views, 27 comments

Latest by Truculent: I once had a whole set of those cards. The one where the Martian zapped the barking dog and burned it alive made me sad. more »

ringtones

Is Your Ringtone Annoying Enough? No? Replace it With Hillary Clinton!

Do you hate everyone around you? If so, you may wish to download one of Slate's political ringtones. No, seriously. This is what they're doing. Ringtones made of soundbytes taken from the never-ending 2008 primary elections. Like Hillary's odd laugh, John McCain calling someone a jerk, and "Yes We Can!" If you download these to your phone, you will get beaten up. But! They forgot a couple! Like, all the good ones, basically. Allow us: More »

6:03 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Pareene
2,542 views, 13 comments