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A reader concisely reviews Madonna's new album: "If you haven't heard Madonna's new album (which dropped today) I cannot express to you how awful it is. It sounds like a tranny got to let loose with the help of her Casio. Usually there are a few decent tracks on her albums. The last one was bad, but had a few good ones. This is a new level of pitful [sic] for Madonna. This puts 'Swept Away' to shame."
from the mailbag
Gawker,
A woman standing in line in front of me at Hale & Hearty salads just ordered the single most disgusting combination of ingredients imaginable: peas, beets, hard boiled egg, chicken (egg & chicken together! horror!), goat cheese, raisins, garbanzo beans.
Please let your readers and fellow salad eaters know that certain combinations of ingredients are inherently gross and will NOT be tolerated.
Thanks, Debra, for your encouraging words! We shall continue flogging the Cruise thing to our herat's content. [Previously, idem]
from the mailbag
clarifications
Editing a website is hard! Thankfully, like everyone else in my horrid generation, I can still rely on my parents. Not for financial support, but for story ideas.
Subject: stories i care aboutJim Carry: Don't Google My Girlfriend [People]
From: [Mom]
To: Alex>>>> Please read the confidentiality statement below <<<<
jim carrey - mad about google
Drew Carey ruining the price is right
csi: books
we get letters
understanding diversity
confessions
From the mailbag:
I had an epiphany last night that I realized only gawker could truly appreciate. I finally figured out why I find Dov Charney sort of inappropriately sexy: because I was watching the 1973 film of _Jesus Christ Superstar_ and realized that he bears a strong resemblance to evil Jewish high priest Caiaphas! And because, watching that movie as a small Catholic girl, I felt naughty feelings for the shirtless sweaty bearded evil Jewish high priests with weird hats and S&M-style chest-strap arrangements. Sexy evil Jews, both.
Wow, it feels good to confess that!
"One thing I'll say for him, Jesus is cool."
Katie
our celebrities
From one "Craig L." comes this missive:
How in the hell are we supposed to care about this bitch Julia Allison? Who is this woman and how did she rise to such notoriety with such little education and or common knowledge of the world around her? The question remains, who among us can't do what she does? This is not simply a latter day Carrie Bradshaw. This is a painted whore who drives a Mercedes off her ill gotten gains. Perhaps because we don't have a 34D chest and a vacant personality we shall never attain such lofty goals. This girl is a menace, a boil on society and I, for one, refuse to accept that she gets a pass just because she has big tits. If people like me are heard then this girl w ill be out of the papers, if not now, eventually. I am sick of this type of New York bullshit. Woody Allen I can take, he is at least funny 10% of the time. This bitch is just annoying 100% percent all the time, every time. Please kill me before you place another post about her.Hey, Julia-haters, doesn't it feel cool to be on this guy's team?
we get letters
chidings
So! Jilted author Robert Olen Butler isn't happy that yesterday we published the email he sent to his grad students. You know, the email that began "this sort of thing can get wildly distorted pretty quickly. You can feel free to use any part or all of this email to do so," and in which he explained exactly why his wife was leaving him for Ted Turner (she was abused by her grandpa!). In his email to us, he sounded steamed!
More »
the single life
So the other day I got an early morning phone call from the undergrad I boned (once!) a month ago. In this phone call he casually told me he was getting his annual STD check and wanted to know when I was last tested so that he could figure out which tests he could skip. This was the entire point of the call: to save money on an AIDS test! Seriously, with a name like Lev Sheingold he's lucky in my groggy state I didn't make some sort of crass Sarah Silverman-esque joke about his ethnic frugality. Ahhh! Being a slut is so not worth it.
hot angry modernists
Okay, I've seen your new post about this. You might have done the classy thing, or at least the adult thing (speaking of adults), and managed to print my statement without having to make snide remarks about me—one that confuses decency with paternalism, another that repeats an old insult levelled by one or two out of the many hundreds of students I've taught, many of whom will tell you that I'm one of the favorite professors they've ever had—but I suppose that if you started doing the classy thing, or even the adult thing, you'd have to take down the entire site. Or even the legal thing, come to think of it: I also notice that you still haven't said anything about how the original post violates the copyright of the two student-authors in question.More »
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