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we're all gonna die

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we're all gonna die

Giuliani: The Candidate Who Will Shoot You



In an attempt to terrify its native readers, UK paper The Guardian is showing brief documentary films on the American Presidential Primaries. This one on Rudy Giuliani features an interview with noted Giuliani-hater Wayne Barrett and brief chats with Giuliani fans welcoming their savior at a New Hampshire meet-and-greet. In this clip, a red-shirted gentleman insists that what we really need is a candidate who's not afraid to shoot you in the goddamn face. Head over to The Grauniad to see the whole thing, including a promise from the New Hampshire State Co-Chair of Veterans for Rudy that their guy's the only one with the wherewithal to combat "the rise of the Muslims." Tremble in your sandals, Old Europe! We just might elect this nut!

True Giuliani [The Guardian]

4:00 PM on Thu Dec 27 2007
By Pareene
1,180 views, 28 comments

Latest by n/a: @bettycrocker: There is one, but it seems to revolve around cutesy performance art rather than, oh, acquiring and analyzing knowledge so that it can be applied in reality. Ugh. Now I kind of want to shoot someone. more »

we're all gonna die

White House: Terrorists Will Destroy Us Unless We Keep Killing People

So after doing the "soft opening" thing for a couple of weeks, the government's "Terrorists Are Coming To Kill You, Part IV: The Reckoning," is ready for wide release! Yesterday the White House brought out its National Intelligence Estimate on the threat of terror. Guess what? We're all gonna die! How'd it happen? Basically, the continuing war in Iraq has provided a breeding ground for people who want to kill us. Meanwhile, over in Pakistan, the poor leadership of self-installed President Pervez Musharraf has allowed al-Qaeda there (as opposed to al-Qaeda in Iraq, who are also no slouches when it comes to blowing people up) to regain strength. Why are we hearing about this now? The Times has a theory! More »

3:50 PM on Wed Jul 18 2007
By abalk
2,727 views, 32 comments

Latest by GeorgeBabbitt: @nigerienne: Not to be too picky about it, but that actually makes them infinitely accurate because of the division by zero. A pretty impressive record! more »

we're all gonna die

Are You Cowering In Fear About Terror Yet?

Here's the poll they're running over at the "Today Show"'s website this morning. It's a good question, although it seems a little too vaguely-worded to result in a real scientific measurement of the country's level of concern. We've come up with our own survey; please let us know how you feel.

More »

1:15 PM on Thu Jul 12 2007
By abalk
6,086 views, 36 comments

"A new top-level intelligence assessment concludes that the al-Qaida terrorist network has rebounded and is at its greatest strength since the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, U.S. officials said Wednesday." Which means what, they've got access to box cutters again? This just keeps getting better. [A.P.]

14 comments

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff has a "gut feeling" that the U.S. is going to suffer a terror attack this summer. Considering that this is the same gut that failed to anticipate a major, well-predicted hurricane, we should probably be a little concerned. [McClatchy-Tribune]

33 comments

we're all gonna die

Welcome Back, Bubonic Plague!

We woke up this morning in an unusually cheerful mood. Perhaps it was the pleasant weather, perhaps the Zoloft was finally kicking in. Either way, we whistled a happy tune (AC/DC's "There's Gonna Be Some Rockin'") as we walked to the Gawker offices and, for the first time in ages, felt somehow serene. Then we found out that the bubonic plague was back. More »

11:01 AM on Tue May 22 2007
By abalk2
6,797 views, 50 comments