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Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich

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i'm a bottle
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
You know, the whole sandwich thing is just evil. Nobody deserves to be treated like that for an honest mistake. It's really inhumane.
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goldfarb
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
there should be a version of this that focuses on the high tension of the Canada/US border...
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i'm a bottle
02/25/09

@goldfarb: You have no idea. They love to invent drama there.
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Gawd
02/25/09

@goldfarb: Actually they do focus on USA/Canada border incidents on this show... if you dare to continue watching it.
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nirreskeya
02/25/09

@Gawd: Sadly, I can no longer receive television signals. However, I went to the website ([abc.go.com]) and note that the lake at the bottom of the background image looks a lot like one of the many at the Minnesota/Ontario border. Plenty of bad things going down there every day.
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Pope John Peeps II
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
"Do you have a credit card, hon?"

"five" HE SAYS WHILE SOBBING.

Fuck me, cowboy... fuuuuuck me... you're quite a man.
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mfnher
02/25/09

@Pope John Peeps II: Laughing at the expense of Germans. Ha ha. Schadenfreude, it feels so good.
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Pope John Peeps II
02/25/09

@mfnher: I thought he was french?
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mfnher
02/25/09

@Pope John Peeps II: I thought they said Frankfurt? Oh well, I'm not sitting through that clip again to find out? His crying made me uncomfortable.
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Pope John Peeps II
02/25/09

@mfnher: that's what she said.
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i'm a bottle
02/25/09

@Pope John Peeps II: The roll of sin that he was carrying looked typically German and he also did really say that he was arriving from Frankfurt.

I would cry too if I thought that it could get me out of a three-hundred-dollar fine from some silly functionary.
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uninspired
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
When I recently came back from Paris, the airline made me switch my carry-on and suitcase pre-flight. I had a bunch of pastries/desserts that I had intended to eat on the plane.

To avoid a beagle taking my food and paying a huge fine, I looked like an insane person stuffing my face with chocolate croissants sitting on the edge of the baggage carousel. F'in homeland security.
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i'm a bottle
02/25/09

@uninspired: I bet it's fun for the border patrol to get all the stuff that comes back on the direct flight from Naples, Turin or Pisa. That would be a job that I would love: "Sorry Sir/Ma'm, that will be three hundred dollars: cash or credit card?" That would be great in itself. After that, in the break room, I would want to wash down all the bitter resentment I feel for these people who are coming from places that I've never even heard of with some Borolo, San Danielle prosciutto and truffled goat cheese.
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plyhard13
02/25/09

@i'm a bottle: Do you honestly think those guys know what those things are? I'm sure they would be much happier with Franzia, deli ham, and cheez whiz!
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i'm a bottle
02/25/09

@plyhard13: They probably wouldn't, but I can't seem to spell them today, so I guess we'd be even.
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Colonel Mustard
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
The thing is, this episode probably represented the absolute best footage they could cull from the hours upon hours that they sat with these guys, rolling tape while they played poker and took smoke breaks and bickered with exhausted travelers. For every hour of reality television that makes it to air, there were in the neighborhood of twenty hours shot. This glorious shitbomb represents the top 5% of total footage for that episode, people.
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nirreskeya
02/25/09

@Colonel Mustard: Wow. I caught a bit of a commercial at some relative's house around Christmas and thought, "Bad propagandist drama." I had no idea it was a reality/documentary series. I can't even express how much worse that is.
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mfnher
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
I must have that sandwich seeking beagle. Sooo cute.
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SaraRueful
02/25/09

@mfnher: I think they use beagles because they eat anything and everything, all the time. As evidenced by my stepmother's morbidly obese beagle, who weighs about as much as my dad's lab mix. At that point, they're not so cute.
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Sproing
02/25/09

@mfnher: I don't need a beagle to find an confiscate strangers' sandwiches. I'm motivated by poverty.
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mfnher
02/25/09

@Sproing: Me too. I will cut a bitch for a pulled pork sandwich.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
Me no comprendo. They say his dmv info says he was born in Oceanside, and yet he speaks English at the level of a 5 year old? A what what? Is it worse than we thought? (I thought?)
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LLH
02/25/09

@Uncle_Billy_Slumming: perhaps thats why he has no DL.
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SaraRueful
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
I'm probably going to piss a lot of people off here, but if Maximiliano actually spoke English, the cops probably wouldn't have been so skeptical. Is it really too much to ask that citizens speak the language? Other countries don't give you the option to press 2 for your own language, you know -- you live there, you learn their language.

I'm definitely not a rah-rah cop supporter, but a guy a) with no passport, driver's license, ANYTHING, b) WALKS through the traffic lanes to cross the border, and c) barely speaks English? I don't think Homeland Security did anything wrong there.

The sandwich thing was just stupid, though.
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Sproing
02/25/09

@SaraRueful: Maximiliano SHOULD HAVE BEEN CARRYING HIS FUCKING PASSPORT. This I grant. But English isn't even the official language of England.
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Dave J.
02/25/09

@SaraRueful: Er, you could tell he could barely speak Spanish either. Cops were trying to speak to him in Spanish AND English, and he could not respond, because he was DRUNK. I'm sure he's reasonably fluent in both languages when sober.
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BadUncle
02/25/09

@SaraRueful: Cops have demanded the same thing of me when I'm staggering around new york at dawn with my pants on my head. I say that cops should understand porpoise.
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Robert Synnott
02/25/09

@SaraRueful: Dial 999/112 (999 equiv) in Ireland, and you get a choice of English, Polish, French, or, I think, Cantonese. (But not Irish, apparently; too expensive, and there's no-one who can speak Irish but not English anyway). Similar situation in most other European countries. Learned this because the EU, enraged that people weren't using their '112' emergency number enough, declared it to be '112 day' a while back and released a load of documentation on it; the media then made fun of this.
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SaraRueful
02/25/09

@Robert Synnott and others: I live in France, and while I don't know about the emergency number (and don't really want to try it without an actual emergency), every thing I did when I moved here, I had to do in French. Get an apartment, get phone service, cell service, cable, insurance, a bank account, a work permit ... a million little bureaucratic things, and not ONCE did I get the option of speaking English. As it should be. I like the pride the French take in their language. I'd probably be a better fit in Germany, but I don't speak German, and I would never be so arrogant as to think a majority of a country should bend to my abilities.

As for ancestors, yeah, the English etc. should have learned the native languages ... and, you know, not destroyed their populations. I'd be proud to speak the Cherokee my great grandmother probably heard her parents speak. (No, I'm not like 1/132nd or something like that). But as they say, that horse is already out of the barn, and the vast majority of Americans speak English.

And Moriturus? You're an ass.
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monoverb
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
$300 fine for a sandwich the the guy who was just on an 8 hour flight forgot was in his bag. Sweet.

We deserve whatever fate awaits us after the econocolypse.
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i'm a bottle
02/25/09

@monoverb: I would love to see them fine him $50,000.
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Wrapitup
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
What did they do with the sandwich?
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dinalohan
02/25/09

@Wrapitup: One way trip to Guantanamo.
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Wrapitup
02/25/09

@dinalohan: I'll do my patriotic duty and sign up for the position of confiscated sandwich ingester.
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yourfriendandneighbor
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
INCREDIBLY the dirty Mexican was telling the truth all along.
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britneyspearstears
02/25/09

@yourfriendandneighbor: Yeah, I also caught that. Because, you know, all brown people are untrustworthy... Idiot writers.
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uninspired
02/25/09

@yourfriendandneighbor: I wonder how the Mexican was smart enough to secretly implant his information on a DMV database?
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dinalohan
02/25/09

@uninspired: My favorite was when the one security person says to the blonde guard, "he says he was born in Oceanside" and the other laughs like it's ridiculous. There are no Mexicans born in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! That's just CRAZY TALK!

I want my taxes back.
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BadUncle
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
Two-fisted, action-packed Beauracracy the-way-you-like-it.
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mfnher
02/25/09

@BadUncle: I have yet to see that show Parking Wars, but I imagine it's a lot like this.
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Sproing
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
"I know what the United States looks like, and you don't look like the United States."

Yes. Yes, he does.
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Uncle_Billy_Slumming
02/25/09

@Sproing:

Zowee.
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Dave J.
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
"Officers were trying to figure out why Maximiliano was attempting to enter the United States by walking through the traffic lanes."

Uh, because he was drunk. Honestly, these guys work the TJ border crossing and they're wondering why someone is doing something stupid?
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Thatcornellguy
02/25/09

In reply to Homeland Security Thwarts Foreign Sandwich
You never know what the terrorists are going to try next. Goat cheese baugettes? Its possible.
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Perhaps Not
02/25/09

@Thatcornellguy: Did you just say "spasibo?" GET HIM!
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