Clark Hoyt, the New York Times Public Editor, basically wrote the tell-all on Weddings and Celebrations, and for that, we have to thank him. But first: a few weeks ago on our weekly analysis of the Weddings and Celebrations, Altarcations, we featured a couple that was very, very outside the realm of what the Times typically highlighted. He, a former homeless heroin junkie who'd been in and out of the pen his entire life. She, a sexually-abused meth addict turned teenage mother. They met outside of a narcotics anonymous meeting, and the story ends with him falling in love with her daughter and the daughter telling him to marry her mommy. If my summary of it didn't just make you cry, reading it actually will.

Here's where it gets good:

A few readers did not like the change of pace. "Are we telling young adults it is alright to waste half their lives in a drug stupor and somehow it will magically work out?" wrote Richard S. Emrich of Plymouth, Mich. I heard from other readers who said they regarded the weddings pages as a place for upstanding people with good educations who come from good families. Sousa and Keen, they said, did not belong.

And now you know why there's so much to hate about the Times: the assholes who read it like this. But Hoyt stands by the couple - who both have careers on the up-and-up, now - and against his dickhead readers. He found it inspiring. So do we. But he's also pretty clear on what the Times wedding announcements really are to people like us: manna from blogging heaven.

They are parodied online and in a new book, "Weddings of The Times." They are featured in New Yorker cartoons (bridesmaid to downcast bride: "So what if he's not the man of your dreams. The Times is going to be there.") and dismissed as "wedding porn" by people who find them an irresistible guilty pleasure.

There's also a gem in there about Slate writer Timothy Noah calling the NYT wedding announcements "anachronisms serving 'a very small aristocracy'" and then confessing that he pulled strings in the 90s to get his nuptials up in the 'pages. Nice! But do you know the numbers? They get 200 submissions a week for inclusion in their pages! You KNOW strings are pulled like mad. Also, to avoid any controversy, the Weddings and Celebrations section is (ironically) one of the most heavily scrutinized and fact-checked sections of the Times!

They must comply with three pages of rules and submit to rigorous fact-checking. Everyone involved in a wedding, including the person performing the ceremony, is interviewed, and some are asked for documentary proof of things like degrees and honors. Robert Woletz, the editor in charge, said it is amazing how little some people know about their family members, like a father's current job.

There's so much more awesomeness in there. But the holy grail trumps it all: once all is fact-checked and done, how you make it on the broadsheet. Answer?

Woletz decides who makes it in, "for better, for worse," he said. How does he choose? "The basic premise is that we're looking for people who have achievements," he said. "It doesn't matter what field these achievements are in."

Boom. There it is. And that's why we love it - because they are, at some points, the secret decoder to read the Sunday Styles: a strange mix of high-fallutin' over-achievement intermixed with the occasional, sometimes-guilted, often hysterical peek into what lies elsewhere. But what about straight-up sycophanticism? Phyllis Nefler, former Intern Alexis, and myself have all cheered on the Weddings and Celebrations section of the Times loudly and without fail. Did we (or any other outlets) get links or proper mentions?

Sure. About.com. The New Yorker cartoons. A blog devoted solely to this kind of thing. Slate. But us? NOTHING, GODDAMNIT. Message to Clark Hoyt and Robert Woletz, editor of the Weddings and Celebrations: do you have any goddamn idea how hard we work on these? We just want to be acknowledged. Loved. Married intellectually, or even married but estranged via a toss-off link. Mostly, we just want to make it in your pages one day. Then again, as Altarcations professor Phyllis Nefler put it via IM earlier today, "i HATE HIM. he's reinforcing the dominant paradigm of elitism in the Times wedding section!!!11!!" Some things never change.

Love and Marriage, New York Times Style [NYT]

Which is more matrimonabulous: Having the judge you once clerked for officiate at your wedding—or mentioning in your announcement that you were among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor? Let's see, shall we?

Sandra Gelbard & Tony Uzan

Couple married at the Waldorf-Astoria: +2
Dr. Gelbard-Uzan, 35, is an internist in private practice in New York; she specializes in cholesterol management, weight loss and preventive medicine. She is also a clinical instructor of medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital, and was among the physicians who treated Brooke Astor: +13
Tony is a managing consultant with the global business services division of I.B.M.: +2
He has an MBA from Northestern; She has a medical degree from SUNY Stonybrook: +2
Tony is over 35: -1

Total: 18

Alixandra Smith & Daniel Richenthal

The bride and bridegroom met at Harvard, from which they both received law degrees, she cum laude and he magna cum laude: +10
Alixandra graduated magna cum laude from Harvard: +4
Daniel graduated magna cum laude from Amherst: +2
Alixandra is a law clerk in the Newark chambers of Judge Julio M. Fuentes of the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit: +2
Mr. Richenthal, 30, is a litigation associate in the New York office of Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr, the Washington law firm: +2
Judge Robert D. Sack of the United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit officiated at the wedding. The bridegroom had served as his law clerk from 2005 to 2006: +5
His mother is a teacher at the Hi-Ho School, a nursery school in Bedford. His father is a partner in Richenthal, Abrams & Moss, a New York law firm bearing his name: +4

Total: 29

Since measured earnestness appears to be the new condescending eye roll 'round these parts of late, and since holiday season is upon us, we're not going to make fun of the bride with the mother named Buttons. (Ha! BUTTONS!) No, instead, we are going to celebrate the heartwarming, straight out of a Nancy Meyers screenplay, tale of Jeanne Conway and Douglas O'Connor. Watch us!

• For Douglas's use of the phrase "I remember it vividly!" twice: +2
  
• Jeanne grew up riding polo ponies in Loudonville, NY, played field hockey and drove a convertible that matched her camel hair coat: +3
  
• Though they dated for two years in the 1950s, "There was no hanky-panky": +3
  
• Shortly after they parted ways in 1954, after Jeanne's father passed away and Douglas was sent to Georgia for military training, Douglas read about Jeanne's marriage to someone else in the New York Times - "I remember it vividly... I'm at Fort Bragg in the 82nd Airborne Division jumping out of airplanes and I pick up the Sunday New York Times and whose picture do I see but the girl of my dreams?" For this being both very proto-"Sex and the City" and very meta: +4
  
• Douglas went on to marry, not one, but two Mary Alices: +4
  
• They corresponded via condolence letters when their significant others passed away: +3 for the sweetly macabre factor.
  
• When at last the two rekindled their relationship, it became, according to Jeanne "'a magic slate' upon which they 'can write anything they want.' They became inseparable. 'If I'm not with Jeanne, I feel like I'm just waiting to be back together with her,' he said. 'It's that kind of relationship.": +2
  
• Their marriage at the Church of Vincent Ferrer on the Upper East Side, according to reporter Lois Smith Brady, was "much like one they might have had in the 1950s. Guests in flip hairdos and wing-tip shoes sang 'Amazing Grace'": +2
  
• Total: 23
  

It was a well-curated mix of eclectic types in this week's weddings section. A numerically dyslexic poet and an Italian translator, an Internet entrepreneur and her investor whom she wooed with the words "because I want to make money", a Pulitzer-prize winning former WSJ reporter and Don Imus's personal assistant . In the end, it was down to Leonora Zilkha and Frank Williamson, who were married on Frank's family plantation, and a very horsey southern couple. If you know us, you know that horsey trumps all.

Susanne Nifong and Benjamin Baker: 29 points

• The couple was married by an Episcopal reverend: +1
  
• Susanne's parents own a dairy farm in Virginia: +1
  
• Ben is a Shakespearean actor: +1
  
• His father retired as the chairman and chief executive of Wachovia Corporation in Winston-Salem, the fourth largest bank in the U.S.: +5
  
• Ben and Susanne met at one of Ben's performances as Macbeth, set up by a couple whose daughter, Laine Satterfield, was one of Ben's former classmates, who subsequently invited Ben and Susanne to a barbeque at her family's horse farm where Ms. Nifong, an avid rider and fox hunter, keeps her horse, Elastic: +8
  
• For the added Laine Satterfield intrigue — who is this friend and former classmate of Ben's and why is she having her parents set him up on dates... surely there's more to the story here...: +3
  
• When Ben first met Susanne, he thought: "She had on this great little skirt. She was really assertive and had a great smile and really great legs.": +2
  
• At the barbeque they bonded over both having black labs: +3
  
• About a year post-bbq, he walked her into the barn, took both of her hands and dropped to one knee, proposing to her in front of Elastic and five other horses: +5

The desire for true love, especially served with a dollop of princess power, is all well and good—though considering what we know about the lives of actual princesses such as Diana and Japan's Masako, you have to wonder why any woman today aspires to royalty. The answer may rest in something far less rarefied: the quest for financial security, class mobility and, in our divorce-ridden, war-pocked world, a few moments of life lived happily ever after.

Disney's $4b 'Princess' Brand [Newsweek]

There's something about high-powered bankers based in Hong Kong that just sends us into a tizzy. For some reason, we just find it really impressive. So sue us! And even though there was a couple with a hipster photo, Katie Couric's executive assistant, someone named Cheshire Webb III, a former White House intern who helped write the traditional Thanksgiving speech in which a turkey receives a pardon, S.I. Newhouse's nephew and a TV news reporter whom Magee Hickey referred to as "a sex kitten and a smart reporter," it was three-wedding-ceremonies-having Victoria Lim and Peter Sheren who sprinted to the lead.

Victoria Lim and Peter Sheren

• They were married by an Episcopal priest: +1
  
• They had a Jewish ceremony in Washington and a Korean ceremony in Soeul — making that three ceremonies in total!: +3
  
• Groom is Jewish and bride is Asian: +2
  
• Victoria is keeping her name: -1
  
• Victoria is a is a vice president for investment banking in the Hong Kong office of Credit Suisse, specializing in capital markets and mergers and acquisition advice for technology companies in the Asia-Pacific region; Peter is a vice president for stock sales and trading in Hong Kong for a securities unit of JPMorgan Chase, specializing in sales and trading for hedge funds in the stock markets of the Asia-Pacific region. For both being fincancial big wigs based in Hong Kong: +10
  
• Victoria graduated from Stanford: +1
  
• Even though the couple went to the same high school mixers in the early 1990s, when she was at Madeira in McLean and he was at St. Albans in Washington... they did not meet until half a decade, and half a globe, later. For both attending schmancy DC-area private schools: +3

  Total points: 19

Also, from the coworker of Elena's who brought this story to our attention: "I work at the same firm as Ms. Elbogen-Glatt. (She's NOT popular with the admins...)" Can't imagine why not.

Intrigued by Elana's unique sense of self-worth, we decided to take a quick peek at her Bloomies' registry. Shit is intense. It's not that the goods requested are so fancy, it's the sheer volume of Wedgwood china and Vera Wang stemware that Elana and her DH put in for and then received that's staggering. And we can only hope that Elana finds some competent florists in the future to decorate her pad for the events where her guests will eat from those $325 "Nambe Mills hostess shrimp sauce bowls."

Though former Conde Nast bigwig Steve Florio's son was in the house this week, as was a former "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast and the conductor of the Boston Pops, it was Virginia Boyd and J.B. Lockhart IV who brought the ruckus to the Times wedding pages. It was a descended-from-a-steamship-baron kind of ruckus! Who can fight that kind of power?


Virginia Boyd & J.B. Lockhart IV: 31 points

• Virginia's mother is "of New York": +1
  
• J.B.'s parents are "of Greenwich, CT": +1
  
• J.B Lockhart is a "IV": +4
  
• They were married by an Episcopal priest: +1
  
• They met while graduate students at Harvard: +7
  
• They both graduated from Yale: +5
  
• Virginia summa cum laude: +3
  
• Virginia is a lawyer: +1
  
• Her father was the chairman of the Boyd Steamship Corporation, a shipping agent founded by a great-great uncle of the bride in 1909: +3
  
• J.B. is an I-banker: +2
  
• From 2002, J.B.'s father was the deputy commissioner and the chief operating officer of the Social Security Administration in Washington: +3
  

A slew of good 'uns this week: Ondine Karady and New York Times reporter James Rutenberg were married by Times political correspondent Adam Nagourney in Montauk, Times-man Sam Roberts' son got married, Sarah Gegenheimer, the deputy communications director for Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, married Frederick Baldassaro Jr., former deputy communications director for Gifford Miller, but it was Josiah Hornblower, great-great-great-great-great-grandson (yes, that's 5 "greats") and subject of our Favorite Documentary Ever "Born Rich," and his wife Jocelyn Hunter, who came out on top this week.

Jocelyn and Josiah: 20 points

• Jocelyn has an M.B.A. from Stanford: +2
  
• She works in M&A for a software company; Josiah manages investment funds: +3
  
• Josiah is a great-great-great-great-great-grandson of Cornelius Vanderbilt, the railroad magnate, and a descendant of Josiah Hornblower, a delegate from New Jersey to the Continental Congress: +5
  
• The bridegroom, according to the Times, "was one of the subjects of Born Rich, a 2003 documentary directed by Jamie Johnson on children born to wealth." For being "born to wealth," our favorite kind of thing to be born to!: +10

Shout outs this week must be given to the Martha's-Vineyard-vacationing Harvard heavyweights Teresa Clarke and John Ellis, the incesty-seeming Sachs-Sachs union, the former Pentagon interns Ensign Tilney and Major Burke, whose romance blossomed and bloomed on the sandy airfields of Kuwait, and the hippie-dippies Rose Friedman and Justin Lander, the latter of whom caught the former's attention by eating a raccoon. Holla to you all. But none of these people could compete with this week's winners.

Sara James and Seth Mnookin: 27 points

• Both Sara and Seth are Conde Nast employees (she the fashion news editor of Men's Vogue, he (apparently still) a contributing editor at Vanity Fair): +10
  
• Sara is keeping her name: -1
  
• Sara's mother owns a surf shop: +2
  
• Sara is the author of the "What If..." series of young adult novels: +2
  
• Seth's acupuncturist conducted the ceremony: +1
  
• Seth is the author of two hard-hitting books: Feeding the Monster: How Money, Smarts, and Nerve Took a Team to the Top, about the owners, executives and players who took the Boston Red Sox to the World Series championship in 2004, and Hard News: Twenty-One Brutal Months at The New York Times and How They Changed the American Media, an account of the Times under the editorship of Howell Raines: +5
  
• Seth is being celebrated in the newspaper that he criticized. So, for pulling an "Anne Hathaway now on the cover of Teen Vogue": +5
  
• Seth graduated cum laude from Harvard: +3

There were some good ones this week. Kyle Smith, author of "Love Monkey" got hitched to Sara Austin a Self mag editor, the son of the president of Julliard got married, as did the daughter of the executive producer of Lincoln Center Theater and the grandson of the chairman and chief executive of the Ford Motor Company... but it was Elizabeth Goldhirsh, daughter of the late magazine honcho Bernard Goldhirsh, and her non-money-grubbing husband Eric Yellin, who - despite having met on JDate — brought it home. Here's why.

Elizabeth Goldhirsh, Eric Yellin

Couple married in Jerusalem: +2
Elizabeth has a BA from Penn; Eric has a BA from Cornell: +3
She has an MA in journalism from Columbia: +2
She has an MA in theological studies from Harvard; he has an MBA from Harvard: +7
Elizabeth is on the board of directors of the Goldhirsh Foundation in Boston: +1
She is a founding donor of the Israeli program of the National Foundation for Teaching Entrepreneurship, which teaches business skills to low-income students: +1
Her father was the founder and publisher of several magazines, including Sail and Inc.: +2
They met on JDate: -1
Their first conversation was an in-depth analysis of the European Union's expansion into Eastern Europe: +1
Elizabeth inherited her parents' estate when they both passed away and didn't tell Eric her last name for the first several weeks they were dating — to make sure he wasn't in it for the wrong reasons. For being tactical: +3

Total: 21

What a sad week it was for wedding announcements. A violin teacher and a "sales manager," whatever that is. Young lawyers in love. This chick is the lawyer for 1800Mattress.com, and clearly she left the last "S" off for savings because she got married in MICHIGAN. (Dearborn, but still.) These two baby shrinks are an unholy union of the outer boroughs and Jersey. Also there were a lot of average Jews. But then, lurking amongst these ordinary folks, wow: A sterling winner.

Sarah Luskin and Kenan Stern.

Congratulations to former Harvard ski team co-captains Sarah Luskin and Kenan Stern! While Kenan's eyebrows may be a bit unwieldy, he and his lady love, Sarah Luskin, racked up an impressive 24 points for both graduating cum laude from Harvard and being the children of well-heeled people, including everyone's favorite former New York City parks commissioner!

Couple married by a cantor: +1
Kenan's parents are "of Manhattan": +1
Both Sarah and Kenan graduated cum laude from Harvard: +7
They were co-captains of the Harvard ski team: +2
Sarah received a masters in teaching from Columbia: +1
Her father is a partner in Luskin, Stern & Eisler a law firm bearing his last name: +2
Kenan is the "ideal" age for a man to get married (27): +1
He is a resident in pediatrics at Children's Hospital in Boston: +2
He received a medical degree, graduating summa cum laude, from SUNY Downstate Medical Center's College of Medicine in Brooklyn: +4
Kenan's father is Henry J. Stern, current president of NYC Civic and the former commissioner of parks and recreation under Mayor Ed Koch and Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. For being the son of someone whose epic email list we used to be on and enjoyed reading occasionally: +3

Total: 24

[Photo: Sarah Merians Photography & Company]

Though this week brought us a groom with eight world records in ultramountaineering, a Ford model, a Purple Heart award-ee, a daughter of the former mayor of Scardsale, and a former Blues Clues writer, the Altarcations crown went to Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon, two well-bred lawyers saving the world one Turkic-speaking Uighur at a time.

Alison Sclater and Wells Dixon: 26 points

• Alison is the director of pro bono services at the New York Legal Assistance Group a nonprofit organization in New York that provides legal services in civil cases to low-income people; Wells is a lawyer on staff of the Center for Constitutional Rights and is working on its Guantanamo Global Justice Initiative, challenging the detention of prisoners at Guantanamo Bay by the United States. For both being super-duper do-gooding lawyers: +7
  
• Alison graduated magna cum laude from GW: +2
  
• She received a law degree from NYU: +1
  
• Her father is the president of Sclater Partners Architects in Seattle, a company bearing his last name: +2
  
• Jonathan Wells Dixon goes by his preppy middle name: +3
  
• Wells wears a polka-dotted bow-tie in his photo: +1
  
• He graduated cum laude from Johns Hopkins: +1
  
• He received a law degree from University of Colorado, where he was the editor in chief of the law review: +2
  
• His parents are "of West Hartford, CT": +1
  
• His mother is on the board of the Noah Webster House and the West Hartford Historical Society: +2
  
• His father is the chief of rheumatology at Hartford Hospital where he serves on the board's executive committee: +1
  
• They started dating while both assigned to help seven Uighurs, Turkic-speaking Muslims from western China, who were being held at Guantanamo Bay. "That case made me realize he was the person I wanted to spend my life with," Alison said. "We both felt so passionately... as lawyers, we have the ability to do something about it." For their earnestness: +4
  
• Bride is keeping her name: -1
  

There was a bumper crop of journalistic nups in this week's Weddings section, from Style.com's Nicole Phelps to Radar's Peter Hyman (wonder if Margo was invited?). But our winners, as usual, were horsey-faced kids with multiple degrees from different Ivies whose ancestors occupied the Oval Office or somewhere thereabouts.

Andrea Humphrey, Jonathan Schmidt: 27 points

• Andrea is a doctoral student in international health and development at Tulane: +1
  
• She is also a management consultant in Philadelphia: +2
  
• Does stuff in two different states: +1
  
• She graduated cum laude from Georgetown: +1
  
• She received an MA in public health from Yale: +3
  
• She is a granddaughter of Hubert H. Humphrey Jr., the vice president of the United States from 1965 to 1969, and a senator from Minnesota from 1949 to 1964 and 1971 to 1978: +5
  
• Jonathan is a corporate lawyer: +2
  
• He graduated magna cum laude from Yale: +4
  
• He has a MA in public affairs from Princeton: +3
  
• He has a law degree from Yale: +3
  
• He was a Fulbright scholar in Lima: +2

  Wendy Roosevelt, Christopher Fahy: 14 points

• The couple met on the board of the GIFT Foundation, a nonprofit organization that helps finance small charities. Wendy is the president of the foundation and Christopher is a member of the board. For meeting 'on a board': +3
  
• Wendy is over 35: -1
  
• She teaches first grade at the Spence School; Christopher is a foreign currency trader: +3
  
• Wendy is the great-granddaughter of Franklin D. Roosevelt and Eleanor Roosevelt: +5
  
• She is a member of the board of the Eleanor Roosevelt Center: +1
  
• She has a MA in education from Bank Street: +1
  
• Her father retired as a partner in Roosevelt Benowich & Lewis, a law firm in White Plains (bearing his last name): +2
  

Meghan O'Rourke and James Surowiecki: 818 points

Meghan is the literary editor at Slate and a poetry editor the Paris Review: +400
She graduated magna cum laude from Yale: +4
She received an MFA from Warren Wilson: +1
Her parents are "of Easton, Connecticut": +1
Her parents run the "St. Ann's of the north," The Pierrepont School: +3
James is over 35: -1
Meghan is keeping her name: -1
James is a staff member of the New Yorker: +3
Both couples, at one point, worked at the New Yorker: +2
Combined, the couple has authored two books that we have heard of: +400
James graduated with highest honors and highest distinction from UNC at Chapel Hill: +3
His parents are "of Cheshire, CT": +1
James' father is the principal of St. Marin de Porres Academy in Hamden; as mentioned, Meghan's mother is the head of school at Pierrepont. For both bride and groom having principal parents: +2

Previously: Why People Hate Meghan O'Rourke

It looks like those wacky knuckleheads from the State Department got to Sunday Styles before we did! The wedding announcement for the winning couple (Rebecca Ingber: a legal counsel at the State Department; Anton Metlitsky: Soon-to-be clerk for Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts) are nowhere to be found online, and somebody "disappeared" the Styles section from Gawker HQ. Coincidence? In any case, this lack of proof that the couple exists disqualifies them. Sorry Ingber-Metliskys!

So this means that the Altarcations crown goes to super-WASP couple Emily Johnston and Matthew Adler (who would have been WASPier if Matthew weren't a Jew)! The couple were married at a house in Old Lyme, CT, built for an ancestor of the bride, Matthew Griswold, who was the governor of the state in the 1700s AND ol' Emily's a descendent of a signer of the Declaration of Independence (one of two this week!). But now they don't need that independence—it's a life of fidelity and partnership for them!

The would-be victors: Rebecca Ingber, Anton Metlisky

Couple met at Harvard Law School: +7
She graduated cum laude; he magna cum laude: +3
She graduated cum laude from Yale: +3
Rebecca works as a lawyer in the State Department: +2
Her father is a partner in the law firm Ingber & Ingber: +2
Anton is to become a clerk to John G. Roberts Jr.: +2
He graduated summa cum laude from Penn: +4

Total: 23

The real winners: Emily Johnston, Matthew Adler

Couple married at a house in Old Lyme, CT, that was built for an ancestor of the bride, Matthew Griswold, who was the governor of Connecticut from 1784-1786: +4
Emily graduated from U Mich cum laude: +1
Emily's father retired as an engineer; her mother was a preschool teacher: +3
Emily is also a descendent of Oliver Wolcott, a signer of the Declaration of Independence, who served as governor of CT from 1796-1797: +5
Matthew works for a company of which is father is the president: +2

Total: 15

Runners-up: Elizabeth Stewart, Andrew Cohen

Elizabeth's parents are both "of Riverside, Connecticut": +1
Andrew Cohen's parents are "of New York": +1
Couple married at the weekend house of the bridegroom's mother in Water Mill, N.Y.: +2
She has an MBA from City University London: +1
He, from Columbia: +2
Andrew is an i-banker: +1
Elizabeth's father is a senior vice president for aviation services at General Electric; her mother is a preschool teacher: +3
Andrew works for an investment management firm of which his father is the president: +2

Total: 13

Second runners-up: Laura Worth, Phillip Ingle

Laura's parents are "of New York": +1
Laura "until last month" taught at St. Bernard's; Phillip is an I-banker: +3
Laura is a direct descendent of Carter Braxton, a signer of the Declaration of Independence: +5
And a descendent of Chief Justice John Marshall, who presided over the Supreme Court from 1801-1835: +3

Total: 12

Also-rans: Alexandra Flood, Samuel Alcoff

Bride is a second grade teacher at Hewitt; Bridegroom is a director of a hedge fund: +3
Alexandra received a MA in education from NYU: +1
Her parents are "of Washington, CT": +1
Samuel graduated from UPenn: +1
He received a law degree from Villanova: +1
The couple met at the International Debutante Ball at the Waldorf-Astoria where the bride was presented in 1995: +3
Samuel proposed to Alexandra last year at — "where else" — the ball. "I couldn't think of a more interesting place than the ballroom of the Waldorf while the big event was going on," he said.: +1

Total: 11

Our patented rating system:

Investment banker: +1
Both Investment bankers: +3
Management Consultant: +2
Both management consultants: +5
Trader: +2
Both traders: +5
Corporate lawyer: +2
Both corporate lawyers: +5
Plain lawyer: +1
Clerk for federal judge: 1
Clerk for Supreme Court Justice: +2
Works for Defense Department: +2
Doctor: +2
Both doctors: +5
Teacher at a New York City or Connecticut private school: 2
Parents from New York City or wealthy suburb in Connecticut: 1
New York Times employee: +1
State Department employee: +2
Bride is an elementary school teacher: +1
Works in media: +1
Ivy league graduate: +1 *
Both ivy league graduates: +3
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +2*
Both Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne: +5*
For each subsequent degree after a B.A.: +1
Ivy league B.A. with graduate degree at low-ranking local
college/university: -1
If bride or groom attended/teach at any school with "Country Day" in
the name: +2
Coro fellow at NYU Law: +1
Has MFA in creative writing from University of Iowa: +1
Graduated Cum Laude: +1
Graduated Magna Cum Laude: +2
Graduated Summa Cum Laude: +3
Fulbright fellow: +2
Rhodes scholar: +3
Couple met online: -1
Couple met at art opening: 2
Couple met at art opening for husband's/wife's show: +3
Woman is at ideal age for getting married (25): 1
Man is at ideal age for getting married (27): 1
For each member of couple over 35: -1
Couple married by a Cantor: +1
Couple met during or before their freshman year in college: +2
Bride or groom goes by middle name: +1
Mother a nursery school/kindergarten teacher or reading
specialist/father is a wealthy professional: +3
If the groom is Jewish and the bride Asian: +2
If the groom is Asian and the bride is Jewish: -1
Bride and groom share a last name before getting married: +2
The bride/bridegroom's first marriage ended in divorce: -2
Descendant/related to somebody famous: +3
Descendant of a President: +5
Descendant of a founding father/signer of the Declaration of Independence: +5
Groom wearing gingham in picture: +1
Parent is a trustee or board member of a company or organization: +1
per company/org
Parent is a member of the Bermuda parliament: +2
Bride or Groom is a board member of a company or organization: +1 per
company/org
Bride "is keeping her name", "will continue to use her name professionally": -1
If there is a Jr., II, III or IV in a name: +2
If there is a "von" in a last name: +2
Couple featured in "Vows" column: +2
Bride or groom's first name is a made-up preppy name: +3
If someone famous comes to the wedding and is mentioned: +2
If wedding ceremony held at Bethesda by the Sea in Palm Beach, and/or
reception under a tent at the bride's grandmother's house in P.B: +2
Bride clearly quits her job after the wedding: +1
Married by an Episcopal priest: +1
Groom is 15-30 years older than bride: +3
Bride and groom both from New Jersey: -2
Partner in corporate law firm: +3
Bridge teaches elementary school, groom in finance: +2
Bride works for auction house, groom in finance: +2
Bride/groom works for company founded by parents: +2
Bride/groom related to a socialite: +2
Bride/groom's father/mother works for a company bearing his/her last name: +2
Bride and groom's father/mother share a first name, plus initial: +4
Married at family's summer home: +2

*Apply to graduate school degrees in addition to B.A.s

Remember last week when I was all "marriage is a tool that the patriarchy uses to oppress women, just like it's always been. Oh, and love is a lie"? If you read this article, you probably figured, Okay, here comes a post along the lines of, "Well, DUH! Hahaha, eat it wedding suckers!"

But: actually, no. This week, I believe in love, even though there's still no good reason to.

I just sort of decided to believe in it, even though it's still hard for me to imagine any two ordinary flawed crazy people sticking it out til death do them part without majorly deluding themselves. But maybe that's ok?

I would have posted about this yesterday, but yesterday I was really exhausted from spending the night before alternately sobbing uncontrollably and dancing around the room lip-synching to my iPod to 'Walking on Sunshine' by Katrina and the Waves. Breakups are like that. Yeah, I broke up with my boyfriend. Um, duh.

Here's one of the few things that I'm reasonably sure of: that people like "Bart Blasengame, a 33-year-old freelance writer from Portland, Ore., who was with his former fiancée for three years, are going about it all wrong. "I felt like, by year three, we were both forcing it ... It's the whole cliché of pursuit. Your dates are planned out like some Drew Barrymore romantic comedy with unicorns and rainbows. By year two, we were cruising along, living together, relatively happy. But from a growth standpoint things had started to atrophy. We were happy, content is a better word, but there was no spark."

First thing: Drew Barrymore romantic comedy. Somewhere, if she has any sense in her head, Burt Blasengame's ex-fiancée is like, "Dodged that bullet." Second thing: it is dumb to expect another person to make you happy. Everyone does it. It's still dumb and we should stop. Third thing: thinking and planning and imagining how the future is going to be is the enemy, not just of relationships, but of feeling happy ever. One of the things that makes people like Burt get all bored is that they're looking at things from a "growth standpoint," thinking about how things were in the past and comparing them to way they think things might be in the future. The problem? The past and the future don't exist, or they might as well not exist. For all intents and purposes there is only now, and we're alive right now, and we should try to enjoy it. Thinking about whether we're going to enjoy it in the future makes it impossible to enjoy it now. Always. Maybe this is Buddhism or maybe it's Hippie Self-Help 101. Maybe this is just me being Tony Soprano standing on the edge of a cliff on peyote yelling "I get it!" when everyone else has gotten it already. But it's the truth.

Another thing. My mom's parents are very old and they still totally love each other. My grandfather sometimes calls my grandmother "my friend" as if it's, like, a secret that they are hooking up, even though obviously they have hooked up because hello, I would not be here otherwise. It's also obvious because sometimes my grandfather likes to get a little drunk and talk about their sex life! Awww/ewww! Anyway. They seem to have figured out the secret to making "the spark" last more than three years. I wish they could tell the rest of us, but maybe it's one of those things that everyone has to figure out for themselves.

The Shelf Life Of Bliss [NYT]