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There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
A Decade of Truth From the Weekly World News
Alien Revives Tabloid Corpse!


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unclevanya
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
'Yea' on Matthew Perry. He's funny, he can do serious (see him on The West Wing?), he just needs the right vehicle. And provided he doesn't get fat.
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MissNormaDesmond
10/13/09

@unclevanya: Agreed. And he's been looking consistently good for several years now, so I'm guessing he's staying on top of the alcoholism/addiction thing.
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obloquy
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
it's a bad sign when even gawker's writers don't read gawker anymore.
[gawker.com]
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Paul_Is_Drunk promoted this comment obloquy was starred obloquy was unstarred

Paul_Is_Drunk
10/13/09

@obloquy: I was wondering why that was mentioned twice.
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onebadclam
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
Meh. Better Chandler than Joey.
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LisaHunter
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
@DahlELama:
Did you see David Schwimmer in Band of Brothers? He played a villain -- a martinet jerk of a commanding officer who everyone worries will get them killed. He was GREAT. He really has range.
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DahlELama promoted this comment LisaHunter was starred LisaHunter was unstarred

DahlELama
10/13/09

@LisaHunter: I did, and I know a lot of people loved him in it (my husband included) but to me he was just Ross being an asshole. I can't help it. It's probably because I've seen the rest of the cast* in other things and have an easier time separating them from their characters, but of course, that doesn't really speak so well for him either.

(*Except for Matt Le Blanc, who I really think might actually be Joey Tribbiani, although I'm kind of interested in his upcoming project.)
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MissNormaDesmond
10/13/09

@DahlELama: I'm apparently one of the lucky few who saw Leblanc's feature film debut, which has hilariously been expunged from both the IMDb and his English Wikipedia entry, in the even more hilariously godawful "Lookin' Italian". It was a direct-to-video crapfest made just before "Friends" hit the airwaves. Le Blanc played the lead character's Joey Tribbiani-like younger brother. I saw a screener of the film because they were seeking foreign distribution and I worked for a German distributor at the time. I wish I'd held onto it.

The director/star clearly felt it was his "Citizen Kane", but I imagine either he or whomever he may have been hapless enough to sell US distribution rights to made a deal with Warner Bros. to suppress it once "Friends" was a hit. Whether this was because it was just an incredibly sucky movie, or specifically due to the soft-core pornish sex scenes it included, I wouldn't know. I just know that watching Matt Leblanc cheerfully boning a chick standing up, in his happy-go-lucky, Joey-like way, is way less erotic than the filmmakers clearly thought it would be.
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Cynner
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
It's truly a sad day in "Hollywood" when instead of finding good and original scripts that they have to rehash older shows. I'm also completely perplexed as to why several networks seem very happy to rerun the same show in the same week on their networks. We need some original programming, we need new break-out 'stars' instead of the celebutards and reality stars who are filling up the airways. Does anyone write and act any more?
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Makidian promoted this comment Cynner was starred Cynner was unstarred

City_Dater
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
Will Matthew Perry be bloated and orange or thin and white? I suggest this will have a direct effect on ratings.
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bytememehard
10/13/09

@City_Dater: Depends on whether he is in recovery or not. Maybe he should be on Dr. Drew's show, then we can witness both extremes as he works the program.
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MissNormaDesmond
10/13/09

@City_Dater: When was he orange? I missed that. I am not implying that it didn't take place, only that it is a phase of which I was unaware.
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PaisleyPajamas
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
I'm a little disturbed that I pay so much for cable AND those mofos are data mining me via my coveted DVR.
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mimigoliath
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
I didn't love Studio 60 (Aaron Sorkin, Bradley Whitford, Matthew Perry and sketch comedy should never have downer moments), but I desperately want Matthew Perry back on TV. I adore him. I really, really want this to work out for him.
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David Stever, as Chip Skylark promoted this comment mimigoliath was starred mimigoliath was unstarred

Chip Skylark of Space
10/13/09

@mimigoliath: I loved STUDIO 60 (gave my wife a copy of the only season on DVD, she gave me a copy of FIREFLY), and I also want Matthew Perry back on TV. To quote DahlELama, could I be any more excited about Matthew Perry returning to TV?
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DahlELama
10/13/09

@David Stever, as Chip Skylark: Aw, bolded! This might be the most honored I've ever been!
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DahlELama
10/13/09

In reply to There's More Blood to Be Sucked Out of Ten Minutes Ago in Hollywood
Speaking as a representative of the four people in America who loved Studio 60, could I be any more excited about Matthew Perry potentially returning to TV?
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ArmCandy
10/13/09

@DahlELama: Nice to meet you, I'm number two of four. ("When those numbers come in, it's going to say that one more person liked that sketch. That's another 11,000 people.")
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braak promoted this comment ArmCandy was starred ArmCandy was unstarred

braak: You are, as usual, completely correct.
10/13/09

@ArmCandy: Hi, yeah, that was me. The third guy.
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franimaljones
10/13/09

@DahlELama: And I'm the fourth, sans the Christian girl - that was pure pandering...
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DahlELama promoted this comment franimaljones was starred franimaljones was unstarred

DahlELama
10/13/09

@franimaljones: Actually, it was based on Sorkin's relationship with Kristin Chenowith, and was one of my favorite parts of the show. But good to know that "four" wasn't aiming too high!
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Mike Byhoff
10/13/09

@DahlELama: Honestly, what does Matthew Perry bring to the table?

The cast of Friends brought everyone together harmoniously, each understanding his or her role, but apart, they are all just severed lizard tails flailing about.
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DahlELama
10/13/09

@Mikey-B: Couldn't disagree more. Say what you will about Jennifer Aniston's supposed desperation, but she is a bonafide A-list movie star who in no way needs her old co-workers; I happen to think Courteney Cox is great on Cougar Town, which is about a thousand times as good as I expected it to be; and though I didn't actually like Lisa Kudrow's HBO show, I thought she did a great job in it. (Can't really argue anything positive about David Schwimmer or Matt Le Blanc.)

As for Matthew Perry, I think he brings a great deadpan delivery, an intelligence, a realistic level of attractiveness and accessibility, and even some decent romantic chemistry to his roles. He can sit at my table any day.
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Mike Byhoff
10/13/09

@DahlELama: I could not disagree more. To think Courtney Cox has any semblance of comedic timing is to think that Carlos Mencia comes up with original material. Funny, she is not. I watched 30 minutes of Cougar Town and rolled my eyes no less than 3 times at hackneyed, tired, recycled jokes about old, single mothers. Sex? AND Children? wacky!

As for Jennifer Aniston, she is a one trick ctrl+c Rom-Com pony that is plugged in whenever producers can't snag Kate Hudson.
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DahlELama
10/13/09

@Mikey-B: Obviously we agree to disagree about Cougar Town because I enjoy it, find it funny, and appreciate what I think is an extra layer about what it's like to lose your twenties to young marriage and parenthood and to try to get them back in any way you can once the chance is presented to you.

But thinking Jennifer Aniston is anyone's second choice to Kate Hudson for anything begs for the worst Carlos Mencia metaphor possible, not to mention the fact that her performance in The Good Girl solidly proved that she is not a one-trick pony. Hell, even Derailed, which wasn't a particularly good movie, proved it. Whether or not you find it acceptable that she rarely strays from her comfort zone is a different story.
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Matt Cherette
10/13/09

@DahlELama: I liked Studio 60, too! Stuff like this is why we'd be SO compatible if it weren't for the me-liking-guys thing.
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DahlELama
10/13/09

@mattchew03: Well I've already told my mom that my new boyfriend is coming home with me for Thanksgiving, so do you think you can shelve the man-love for a day or two? She's really excited to meet you.
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Matt Cherette
10/13/09

@DahlELama: Of course! I shelved it (at least publicly, har har) for 22 years, so I'm sure a weekend won't be a problem. This is all menu-dependent, of course. (I just outed myself again, didn't I?)
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DahlELama
10/13/09

@mattchew03: That was the fastest anyone has ever jumped in and out of the closet, ever. You're simply hopeless. Fortunately, I adore you anyway.
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Mike Byhoff
08/01/09

In reply to A Decade of Truth From the Weekly World News
It really was the original Onion.
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krismry
07/31/09

In reply to A Decade of Truth From the Weekly World News
The best Weekly World newses were about the senate being full of space aliens. I miss this paper very much. It made much more sense than the other hot sheets.
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britneyspearstears
07/31/09

In reply to A Decade of Truth From the Weekly World News
Excuse me, but where the hell is Bat Boy?
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snugbug
07/31/09

@britneyspearstears: Two comments below.

Their other major fixation, inter-species progeny, deserves a mention, too. See: woman who gave birth to puppies; cat who gave birth to puppies, etc.
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hamburgerhotdog
07/31/09

In reply to A Decade of Truth From the Weekly World News
Still my favorite: Bat Boy + Obama http://weeklyworldnews.com/politics/election-08/3418/bat-boy-backs-obama/
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
07/31/09

@hamburgerhotdog:
Bat Boy also once had a crush on Jenna Bush. You go, Bat Boy!
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snugbug
07/31/09

In reply to A Decade of Truth From the Weekly World News
But where are the first exclusive photos of Purgatory?
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TruthBeTold
07/31/09

@snugbug: They still can't decide if it's a good or bad idea to release them. Been kinda stuck in neutral on it.
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snugbug promoted this comment Edited by TruthBeTold at 07/31/09 1:41 PM TruthBeTold was starred TruthBeTold was unstarred

Mike Byhoff
07/31/09

In reply to A Decade of Truth From the Weekly World News
Walter Cronkite went with dignity.
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