treading on me
Are you a horrible camera flash-stained, fraying-at-the-edges tabloid media darling who mourns
the loss of the recent American rococo decade? Is everyone being poor and complaining all the time just too much for you? Well worry not, dear inexplicably financed friend, because Dubai is waiting for you! Oh you know about
crazy Dubai, don't you? Unlike this ailing and
needy nation, the Arab Emirate is flush with sandy money and crazy man-made islands and, ooo,
brand-new gaudy hotels! Like a beacon or a lighthouse calling to them out of the icky dark, American celebrities who had it better when the world was gold showed up in droves for the huge,
$20 million dollar opening gala for the new Atlantis Palms megaresort in Dubai this week. Look who was there partying while we back here in the home country hopped boxcars and ate cold soup thickened with sawdust:
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gossip roundup
- Alec Baldwin lashes out at the family court system in his book, not his ex-wife Kim Basinger. He takes care of her at live party appearances: "My ex-wife reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of high-priced lawyers." [Showbiz Spy]
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their big house-de-thetaning party in Beverly Hills, and a helicopter or tree-climber showed up to take pictures. In the first shot, you can see Cruise trying to crash the photographer with his Scientology mind powers. Guests included Victoria Beckham, whose terrified husband stayed home so he couldn't be kidnapped again; Oprah Winfrey, who brought her very close personal friend Gail King; Jennifer Lopez, who likely left the babies at home with their security detail; Tobey Maguire; and fellow crazy Scientologists Kimora Lee and Kirstie Alley.
- Leven Rambin: "I have come to an understanding that soap fans are unlike any other; dedicated, passionate, and loving." Actually, all fans are dedicated, passionate and loving. That's the definition of "fan." [Oh No They Didn't]
- John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston continue to hang out. [Faded Youth]
- Diddy and Cameron Diaz held hands. She said he "must" try her "bread pudding," and spoon fed it to him. Then they snuck off into Prince's basement together. They're of course "just friends." [Rush & Molloy]
- Wesley Snipes is confident he isn't going to jail for the tax evasion thing. He is out on bail and plans an appeal. [P6]
- Sulu from Star Trek getting married to his gay partner, has a sense of humor: "He got down on one knee. I said, ‘What are you doing down there?'" [R&M]
- About one-third of Kurt Cobain's ashes were stolen from wife Courtney Love, who kept them in "a pink teddy-bear-shaped bag" that she used to take "everywhere." She said she was suicidal. [News of the World]
- Rapper M.I.A., who was going to have to leave the country, is marrying a media mogul's son right before her work papers expire. So if they catch her at the border, she really will have visas in her name. [Oh No They Didn't]
- Charlie Sheen has remarried, which means he has a new person to apologize to. [Hollyscoop]
- Hugh Grant, the film star once busted for prostitution, was very interested in taking home a "leggy brunette" from a club until he realized photographers were present. [Showbiz Spy]
- Angelina Jolie keeps guns at home, knows how to use them. [Showbiz Spy]
- Awkward: Harrison Ford had to explicitly deny widespread rumors that he will finally marry Calista Flockhart. [Showbiz Spy]
gossip roundup
- Oh, hey, Republican Mayor Michael Bloomberg might stop snapping at people long enough to play a thinly-veiled, self-mocking George W. Bush in a Broadway play. [P6]
- Anna Wintour didn't like going to South Beach for a Karl Lagerfeld show because it made her sweaty, displeased and "miserable." Sort of like Carine Roitfeld.
- Rapper MIA is only allowed to remain in the U.S. for a few more weeks, so she's considering marrying Kanye West. It's either that or Montreal. [Oh No They Didn't]
- Nicole Kidman said ex-husband Tom Cruise has turned their kids against her. They didn't even visit on Mother's Day. [Showbiz Spy]
- Wesley Snipes enjoyed his remaining freedom at a party in East Hampton. [Rush & Molloy]
- If you snub Harvard's request for your official archives, the university will get ahold of your unofficial sexytime archives. Norman Mailer's estate learned this the hard way. [P6]
- Jennifer Aniston secretly hooked up with John Mayer three months ago. See? It's totally normal for her to be this affectionate. So she's NOT BEING CLINGY, DAMMIT. [P6]
- Naomi Campbell has to return to the Heathrow police station in London to learn whether she will be formally charged with assaulting a police officer. As though slowly going bald wasn't punishment enough.
- One reason you shouldn't attack paparazzi, even if you're insane, basketcase singer Amy Winehouse: They will then publish awful, awful pictures of your "ravaged... heavily scabbed" skin.
david cay johnston
Movie star
Wesley Snipes is certainly a stupid loathsome plutocrat after refusing to pay any taxes whatsoever on $58 million in earnings, a little scheme he devised after facing a measly $2 million tax bill . But the New York Times' dogged tax reporter
David Cay Johnston has no business repeatedly calling Snipes a "coward" in the following video clip, taken outside the Florida courthouse where Snipes
just evaded the worst criminal charges against him. Snipes brazenly stood up to the IRS, the most feared agency of the most feared government on the planet, and not only dodged taxes but also had the stones to ask for a $7 million refund, issue three hot checks for $14 million and Photoshop an IRS form to read "under
no penalty of perjury." Johnston, who wrote the awesome book
Perfectly Legal, should know better than to choose his words so poorly.
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pop culture
We can't help but sympathize with actor
Wesley Snipes when it comes to his tax trial crazytalk. I mean, I couldn't be bothered to file taxes for the last two years either, so I just didn't! Screw it, right?
Wrong. The
NYT calls Snipes' case ""the most prominent tax prosecution in nearly two decades." He is in
so much trouble: his own lawyer is calling his anti-tax views "kooky." Excerpts from his manifesto to the IRS follow.
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mary-kate olsen
Mary-Kate gets herself an oil heir, presumably one who can pay for his own porn. [MSNBC]
Nicky Hilton and Kevin Connolly split, Kevin gets back at Nicky by sleeping with Turtle. [People]
Wesley Snipes indicted for tax fraud, swears IRS has him confused with Omar Epps. [ABC]
Diddy will marry Kim Porter when he's "ready", which is as soon as he finds a ghostwriter to write his vows. [Us]
You know you're living the life when Salma Hayek says you "make the best shrimp quesadillas I have had." [R&M]
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