Expendables producer Avi Lerner won't rest until every last actor who ever played an action hero agrees to enlist in his film franchise.

"You're gonna shit a brick when you see this," Miley's friend says while filming her smoking a bong. Julia Roberts attacks a paparazzo. Bieber takes a Disney star on a date. Rabbits turn James Franco on. TGIFriday gossip.

Angelina Jolie does not enjoy our colonial holiday. Lindsay Lohan is spending Thanksgiving with a bad influence. Cameron Diaz and A-Rod are back on. Billy Joel is recovering. Wesley Snipes is appealing. Thursday's gossip is making pies with its mother.

Biological terrorism strikes dancing-based reality show! Lindsay Lohan's loses her last best chance at saving her career. The cabin where Prince William proposed to Kate Middleton: Revealed! Sexiest man alive news! Saturday Gossip Roundup is protecting the homeland.

A federal judge ordered that Wesley Snipes surrender himself and serve his three-year prison sentence. He was convicted in 2008 for not filing taxes. Hopefully he'll go willingly. The star of U.S. Marshals must know all the escape tricks!

Ken Starr, Bernie Madoff to the Stars! He's been charged with running a Ponzi scheme using money from celebrities. One of them is reported to be Uma Thurman. Dude, didn't you see Kill Bill? You're dead meat!

So this happened this morning, on local cable news station NY1. To be fair, both Snipes and Congressman Charlie Rangel have very good excuses for not paying their taxes. [Via]

Bee Shaffer turns 22 today. Manhattan District Attorney Robert Morgenthau is turning 90. Billionaire financier Leon Black is 58. Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling is 44. Wesley Snipes is turning 47. Muckraking defense attorney Ron Kuby is 53. Another muckraker, entrepreneur Mark Cuban, is 51. Theater director Oskar…

Britney Spears will somehow seduce a publisher into paying millions for three books from her; Lindsay Lohan wants to re-seduce Gotham via magazine spread and Dan Abrams keeps seducing actresses.

Are you a horrible camera flash-stained, fraying-at-the-edges tabloid media darling who mourns the loss of the recent American rococo decade? Is everyone being poor and complaining all the time just too much for you? Well worry not, dear inexplicably financed friend, because Dubai is waiting for you! Oh you know about …

We've heard of (and often tried) a lot of ways to ladder-climb in Hollywood, but "superstar tax-evasion defense attorney" is one we had pretty far down our list, just above "blogger." Still, that's not stopping Robert Bernhoft and Robert Barnes (or simply "the Bobs," as Portfolio refers to them in its November issue)…

Beyonce showing up to watch her sister Solange perform at the J&R Music Fest in City Hall Park ... Chace Crawford leaving his trailer on the set of Gossip Girl ... Jennifer Aniston shopping for jewelry at Fred Leighton ... America Ferrera dressed up as a softball player on the set of Ugly Betty ... Kid Rock performing…

Hope mama got you something nice: Ms. Katherine E. Shaffer, better known as Bee, turns 21 today. Billionaire financier Leon Black is 57. Manhattan DA Robert Morgenthau is still going strong at 89. Defense attorney Ron Kuby turns 52. The Public's artistic director, Oskar Eustis, is 50. The Office's B.J. Novak is 29.…