Dear staffers,

The editor in chief has decided that continuing coverage of the Somali pirate stories must from now on be written in the stage theater voice of a pirate.

For example, instead of writing:

"The statement did not say specifically that negotiations with the hijackers had started. The supertanker, about the same length as an American Nimitz class aircraft carrier, is the largest ship known to have been seized by pirates."

The paragraph should read:

"Tha' charter said nothin' 'bout discussings with the scalawags. The boat, she's 'bout the same length as the American Nimitz, the great beast o' the seven seas that strikes fear in the hearts of stony souls. The boat, she be the grandest of all the bounty these roustabouts have seized."

Please make note of a few new style rules for covering the Somali pirate story:

- A port is no longer a "port" but rather a "port o' call.

"

- The president and chief executive of Velo International, Salah B Ka'aki will now be referred to plainly as "Capt'n Salah the Arab".

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- On second reference, a ship is now to be referred to with the pronoun "she" and contractions are to be used at all times (ie "She's callin' on the pirate's haven.")

- Do not use the term "supertanker." Instead call the ship "the grand dame of the Arabian Sea.

"

- Phrases like "the Somali pirates have engaged in increasingly brazen attacks" should be replaced with more culturally sensitive phrases, such as "the African sea-beasts be gettin' longer swords and swifter boats, and their hunger has grown stronger with each bounty!"

- Replace the word "oil" with "bounty" or "booty.

"

- Say "Argh!" a lot, in your prose and around the office.

Thank you.

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