A new science study has proven that babies, like teenage girls who just got back from visiting their cousins in Europe, really love Picasso.

In a glorious culmination of 15 years research, federal scientists bombed the island of Guam with drugged mice sporting cardboard wings and radios. The target: deadly, terrifying snakes, which arrived, in part, via airplane.

Yesterday's Twitter worm is a disturbingly fascinating life form, writes the Guardian's Martin Robbins, one that spread far more quickly than human viruses, or even other computer worms, possibly could. Think of it as a sort of super herpes.

Only some local hobos will use your credit card for unauthorized booze orgies when given the chance, while others will actually be honest, according to a Toronto Star study confirming research in peer reviewed journal the New York Post.

Are you currently manically brushing your hair, plastering a smile on your face and saying that today is going to be better, today you're going to be a whole new person? Well, too bad. Science says you'll never change.

"Two sources at the Science Times section of the New York Times have told me that a majority of the section's editorial staff doubts that human-induced global warming represents a serious threat to humanity." -Science writer John Horgan.

Using a complex computer model, NASA scientists concluded the earthquake in Chile may have altered the Earth's rotation, shortening each day one-millionth of a second. And the planet's axis may have moved three inches. So: Even worse disaster than expected.

"I'm a natural sceptic," a British-born web publisher says to explain his recent Tweets expressing doubt about the validity of the science behind climate change. Coincidentally, that's the same argument used by everyone who prefers conspiracy theories to science.

Is our entire universe a giant hologram? Really high scientists say "yes." From the comments: " Physics involving cats is hard enough, now the cats are holograms also?"

The Lancet has formally retracted a paper it published in 1998 on the causes of autism based on research conducted by Dr. Andrew Wakefield. So that's it for that, then, right?

Scientists found five new planets! Two hot planets, two even hotter planets, and "a planet with the density of Styrofoam." No aliens though :(. Well, keep looking, guys. [WP. Pic via]

Half of men who get vasectomies never get a follow-up test done to make sure their vasectomies worked. Those men are more likely to be "not highly educated and the fathers of four or more children." [Businessweek. Pic: WTFDYHAK]

Climate change is real and man-made. Period, end of story. But recently, some emails have leaked that conclusively prove that climate scientists... are really pissed off that a well-funded industry exists that subverts and denies their work.

Bombing the moon worked! NASA found water! Now we must blow it up entirely to see if there is life.

When reporting on things said and done by the incredibly vocal minority of angry white people who make up the Republican base, one should always remember that their "reality" is different from ours. James Carville has proven this, with science!

Scientists have now produced overwhelming evidence that bans on smoking lead to a healthier, less dead population. What does this mean for you and your typically unhealthy creative underclass lifestyle? It means it's time to pay for your sins.

A physicist at CERN, the lab that is building the Large Hadron Collider—which will destroy the planet by igniting a black hole and catapulting us into an alternate dimension—has been arrested in France on suspicion of Al-Qaeda ties.

For no rational reason, at all, Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn has introduced an amendment to ban the National Science Foundation from funding any and all political science research. Just poli sci. That's it. He hates it!