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The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing

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Smitros
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
An absence of Trumps.

A man can dream, can't he?
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fileunder
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
235 Bowery
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HiredGoons
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Porcupine stilettos.
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aurora*raby
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
The next new thing is laughter, the kind the sparks of which gild the depths of your life -- not the misinterpreted-as-ironic kind, not the nervous twittering kind, not the self-abasing kind. Because if you can't really laugh, you're not going to make it.
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SurlyDuck
11/19/08

@aurora*raby: I think most of us need a time machine back to their youth to enjoy this sort of laughter. It's the first thing that goes with age...
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BookishLookish
11/19/08

@SurlyDuck: I pushed a child out of my body so I could get some of that back. Not during the actual pushing, mind you, but in the subsequent raising of said spawn. So far it's working out really well.
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aurora*raby
11/19/08

@SurlyDuck: Not if you don't let it. Or just go out and get some more: the next new thing!
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BookishLookish
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Can't wait to come back to Gawker one day in the near future and see, "Jeez, I miss cash fans!"
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SoLongBobby
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Hamilton - You are killing my buzz this morning. Also. Why's everyone got to hate on Jimmy Carter all the time?
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TheHonJudgeSmails
11/19/08

@SoLongBobby: Because he was the worst President of the 20th century, possibly ever?
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Cheap Shot
11/19/08

@TheHonJudgeSmails: I thought bush was the all time worst?
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Iceland Spar
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Please don't say Obama is our Jimmy Carter - I just watched Carter's bio and am convinced that he really might be Carter and it really scares me.
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eatsshootsleaves
11/19/08

@Iceland_Spar: I think Obama's more pragmatic than Carter. But we'll see.
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Cheap Shot
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
You know what would be new? People sending hand-written letters to each other.
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BookishLookish
11/19/08

@Cheap Shot: You'll be getting my reply to this by parcel post. Probably sometime next week.
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eatsshootsleaves
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Um, since when have Americans ever NOT been obsessed with "the next new thing"? That's what makes us American.
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CodePink
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Here are some new things:

mint flavored soda

raspberry hamburgers

computers that can fit in your eyeball!

rainbow colored babies

Kansastana

marrying my aunt1!
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Richard Lawson
11/19/08

@CodePink: Those are all good new things!

Here are other good ones:

bubblegum guns

dogs that know sign language

underwater helicopters

reversible scrambled eggs

tomorrow is now yesterday
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CodePink
11/19/08

@Richard: New!

Perpendicular Circles

the triumph of the costume designer at nudist colonies

cheetohs (hoax)

January 32nd
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ambitious
11/19/08

@Richard: What's the ETA on those eggs? Can we move that to the top of the list?
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Richard Lawson
11/19/08

@CodePink: I will love those new things!

Will you love these?

electric turnips

cats who forget everything

actual lead zeppelins

badminton played only at night

New France
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BookishLookish
11/19/08

@CodePink: Hoaxy Goodness in the Workplace
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CodePink
11/19/08

@Richard: Those are so NEW, so NOW--in fact, they're sort of NEOW.

More new things:

Burlap tissues

flowers that grow into the ground

syncopated heartbeats

looking into the drawer next to your bed at a hotel and finding a computer instead of a bible
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ambitious
11/19/08

@CodePink: But what about . . .

Bulletproof catsuits

Edible books

5D printers

Dissolving pillows

Hopscotch to the death

Doors that only hit you where the good lord split you????
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CodePink
11/19/08

@ambitious: I hate/love the idea of dissolving pillows sooooo much.
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Richard Lawson
11/19/08

@ambitious: @CodePink: What exciting new things!

Do these excite you?

forever-slacks

upsidedown pirates

exploding grilled cheeses

Juicy-Juice storms

Super Christmas

never-trousers
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ambitious
11/19/08

@CodePink: I feel bad throwing them out! But they've got to go.

Then there's

vegan jazzercise

pre-assembled jigsaw puzzles

eagle steaks

biodynamic underpants

gay marriage for straight dogs

exploding sunflower seeds
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CodePink
11/19/08

@Richard: @ambitious: Super Christmas I am actually a little scared of. How about these new things?

Fans Made of Rain

pumpkin brigades

dresses for lizards

Fun Cancer

cartoon boyfriends

Penelope Cruz the Robot
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dado
11/19/08

@ambitious: eagle steaks. heh.
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Richard Lawson
11/19/08

@CodePink: I hope I get Fun Cancer!

Do you want these things?

umbrella cats

freshwater tears

boring adventures

the coast of Arkansas

old coke

the Mayonnaise Rebellion
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ambitious
11/19/08

@CodePink: @Richard: If 2009 does not bring fun cancer to my forever-slacks, it will be a serious let down. But I can cheer myself up with

candy leggings

hair brushes made of hair

German comedy

whine tasting

turbo ceiling mops

vampire lawyers

impossible stews in 5 easy steps

ultimate knitting

frisbee drills
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TheHonJudgeSmails
11/19/08

@dado: I also loved eagle steaks.
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CodePink
11/19/08

@Richard: Fun Chemo is like an amusement park for your immune system, just wait!

trust falls in prison

Helen Keller Art School

toegasms

the continuous nature of the exclamation point

Samuel Beckett Goes to Camp

inside out skin

flying saucers full of actual alien cream
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eatsshootsleaves
11/19/08

@CodePink:

Already-melted ice cream

Full-body sweaters

Labia tattoos

Growing your toenails really long on purpose

Fake teddy bears

Word calculators

Prescription drugs to help you sing better
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TheHonJudgeSmails
11/19/08

@ambitious: @CodePink: I can't resist:

Smokable Underwear

Abuseyourspouse-easies

Telethons for the Rich and Able-bodied

Genesis starring Lionel Ritchie on Bass

Non-stick tape

Frog Tampons
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Richard Lawson
11/19/08

@CodePink: @ambitious: Oh those are too good. I want the stews, badly.

How about:

no one likes pizza anymore

Guess Who That Lady's Looking At game show

stow-'n-go Japan

eating Fourth of July goose

everyone dances backwards now

pajamas 2.0
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CodePink
11/19/08

@eatsshootsleaves: Yay! Word calculators is wonnnnnderful. @TheHonJudgeSmails: And even grumpy old Smails who hates hope! Frog tampons. Snarf!

More new things include:

Pepsicles (Pepsi Icycles on Your House)

Arctic cacti

cameras that take pictures of what you're not

Simpleton Olympics

no more pencils
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Colonel Mustard
11/19/08

@CodePink: I want to play too!

European Veld

Glass catheters

Inflatable doors

Wind-powered dialysis

Lemur fashion shows

Ear wigs
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CodePink
11/19/08

@Colonel Mustard: inflatable doors will be all the rage!!!!
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ambitious
11/19/08

@CodePink: I hate pencils!

@Richard: The stews are going to be so easy to make. You won't believe your taste-buds.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: Eagles have always looked crazy delicious to me. They look so angry. Like their smokable underwear is too tight.

Then again,

rotisserie cheese

Thanksgiving bans

Newspapers come back but then go away again

Salt lake City = The New New York

'Psyche!' is the new 'I'm sorry'

'Quarantine' was real

combustible blankets

sandwich wars

All Upskirt Video Channel
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eatsshootsleaves
11/19/08

@ambitious: All of these seem terrifyingly likely to me.
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Richard Lawson
11/19/08

@Colonel Mustard: @ambitious: @CodePink: Whee!

just-OK train robberies

brain perms

owls who already know who you are

temporary children

Moon Disease
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ambitious
11/19/08

@Richard: I'm worried about these owls. Really worried about these owls,, Rich.

@eatsshootsleaves: Good god. you're right. I mean, we're already embroiled in soup wars and sandwiches always follow soups. Plus Obama made papers sell . . . Please not the 'Quarantine' bit, though. Please, New Gods.
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Steverino Begins
11/19/08

@Richard: That Lady's will usually be looking at Cat Kites!

Or maybe:

salmon butter

punk blinds (self-induced blind people)

gays in blackface

pubic hair at the Oscars

cardboard boxcars

naming your slave Slavey

temporary suicide gum

Made in Antarctica

Fart: The Musical

MSG-only soup
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Ha Ha Sound
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
NOW the counterculture is becoming mainstream? Um, have you ever heard of Pearl Jam?
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CodePink
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Does this Subway is going to come out with paninis?! THAT WOULD BE NEW!!!!!!!!!
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BookishLookish
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
HamNo, does this mean quaaludes are coming back?

Also, I love it when you say "iteration."
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ambitious
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
I work in innovation and let me tell you: New is often dumb. Or just the Old with Açai or LED or some shit-twist.

I miss the Old. A lot of it works just fine.
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BookishLookish
11/19/08

@ambitious: I resemble that remark, toots.
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jfk1624
11/19/08

In reply to The Next New Thing: The Next New Thing
Electrical Banana. Enough said.
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