Bacon lovers in Frederick, Md. are up in arms after their Beer Bacon Music festival failed to supply them with a sufficient amount of cured pig product. This shall not stand!

Willow Smith, the human result of a trip to the most advanced Build a Bear Workshop in all the land by platonic friends Will Smith and Jada Koren Pinkett Smith, was 10 years old when she released the cute, infectious ditty about brain damage and ejaculating hair extensions, "Whip My Hair." Now she is 12, apparently…

Take a deep breath. Relax. Center yourself. Think about your bank account. Now. Are you ready for an article explaining why $196,000 per year is not that much money? Good.

Scientists, whose life is basically spent telling people what they already knew, have confirmed: Whining is the most annoying sound, ever.

An anonymous third-year student at Boston College Law School has sent an open letter to the school's dean offering to leave school after this semester in exchange for a full refund, because the job scene is so bleak. Seems fair?

The president of Transocean Ltd, owner of the leaky Deepwater Horizon oil rig, Steven Newman said today that Obama's "arbitrary six-month time limit" on new offshore oil drilling should be lifted, because companies like his are responsible, honest and competent.

The New Yorker has created a list of 20 writers under 40 worth watching. You probably hate it already, without even knowing who's on it. But how can you complain about it, without looking jealous and bitter?

The PR industry loves to get riled up any time someone takes what might be construed as an unjustified shot at its awful reputation. This is because there are already so many perfectly justified criticisms of PR that any argument not directly linked to a huge public scandal gives the industry a rare chance to get on…

Williamsburg and Greenpoint are the whiniest neighborhoods in Brooklyn. In less than a year, the tedious havens of under or over-employed post-college entitled brats/ Gawker employees made 8,900 complaints to 311, beating the #2 neighborhood, Canarsie/ Flatlands, by 500 complaints. Between drunk hipsters making a…

For the second time this week, I got in a cab with a driver who did not understand this concept: "Greenpoint." Or, more shockingly: "the Williamsburg Bridge." Or! Actually! "THE BQE." Did a session of taxi school just end, I asked, trying hard not to actually slap myself in the face for not just getting out when I'd…