Have you been under the impression that now, a decade after 9/11, you could stop fearing the ubiquitous Mysterious White Powder that could—at any moment—come spilling out of a nearby envelope, forcing you to evacuate your office? Wrong!

A white powder—determined to be harmless—was discovered in an envelope addressed to Dancing With the Stars. Look, we all had to see the nipple, okay? But most of us handled it maturely and appropriately. By tweeting "groooosssssssssssss."