We were too busy eating gelato last night to actually watch The City. However our fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was on the prowl and will bring you all the dirt on her newest nemesis Louise Roe.

Fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern called this morning and said she couldn't write about The City. Something to do with prostitution charges and Tom Arnold. Anyway, you're stuck with me, and I actually had to watch the show.

We were too busy reading old magazines and dusting off our summer clothes to bother watching The City last night. Instead, fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern is going to tell you what you missed. There were parties, and Neel Shah!

We were too busy looking for a cute new umbrella on the internet to bother with The City. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there to fill us in on a very important fashion summit.

We were so busy trying to promote our birthday party that we didn't have time to watch The City last night. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there for all the bitch-on-bitch fighting action.

We were too busy crying while watching Lost last night to even bother with The City. It's a good thing fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was there to fill us in on all the details.

We were too busy paying good money to see Courtney Love sleepwalk through a 45-minute set at Terminal 5 last night to watch the season premiere of The City. Luckily fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern was on the job.

Whitney Port must have brought some ganja to this week's elimination because things got a little weird. The judges started to feel lethargic as smoke and sheep filled the room while Sesame Street style "Z"s fell from the ceiling.

Yes, Vogue's man-about-town brings some class to America's Next Top Model, but even he couldn't escape the ridiculous little game Tyra played to tell the girls they're all going to New Zealand. The shame!

Whitney Port hired a publicist, and it is not Kelly Cutrone.