In another of the New York Times' endless stream of stories about How We Live Now (Poorly), the cratering economy of Hollywood is discussed. The Star Trek anecdote comes up, but the Whole Foods angle is refuted by a spokeswoman from Paramount:

But when the television cameras were turned off, and it was time for the after party, Paramount turned down the glamour. Aside from a 27-beam light show at the party's entrance, decorations were sparse, and the food consisted of salad and hummus, causing blog chatter that it came from Whole Foods.

Paramount said no grocery store was involved. The original catering company got the date wrong, a Paramount spokeswoman said, and a stand-in had to be hired at the last minute.

Because Hollywood is, in fact, miserable and broke, Paramount can't afford no damn Whole Foods, even if it is for their screwed-up biggest premiere of the year. Sigh.

That last minute stand-in? We're betting Ralphs.

At Whole Foods buying food (obviously). ironic she is rumored not to be attending costume institute gala as she is definitely in town. also saw Kelly Klein (calvin's ex) in line. looked tan and thin but had big bags under her eyes. seemed very nice a friendly and she is an extremely talented fotog now.

The company screwed up the (star)date and time of the big shindig, so while the affair was all snazzily decorated and big-name attended, the caterers had to scramble to Whole Foods and sadly laid out a spread of hummus and dinner rolls.

It's weird they didn't just use the replicators.

The Times Co. has since rebounded, closing yesterday at a full penny above the price of its Sunday edition, but risk-taking ATM users could still better spend their money by buying two shares in Citibank than by using one of its machines.

Which got us to thinking about what other companies are now underwater when one considers the share price against the cost of the things they actually sell. Here's a fun list of firms that you could own a piece of for less than the cost of the their products, based on their share prices at yesterday's close. Prices are for New York.

General Electric: $8.86
GE 45 watt fluorescent light bulb: $14.97

Altria Group (maker of Marlboro): $16.60
Two packs of Marlboro cigarettes: $20

Anheuser-Busch: $20.16
Case of Bud Light bottles: $24.99

Office Depot: $.92
Bag of rubber bands: $4.59

Wendy's/Arby's Group: $4.03
"Baconator" combo meal: $8.24

Borders: $.51
Mr. Wiggle Bookmark: $3.99

The Gap: $10.61
Pair of Gap dotted boxer shorts: $12.50

Whole Foods: $12.71
One pound of sea scallops: $18.99

General Motors: $1.89
2009 Saturn Outlook XE: $32,625


[Photo by Walknboston]

Wearing a lot of makeup but looked great, with a black and white checkered overcoat on. Much prettier in person.

One of them, clearly wishing to acknowledge that he recognized Liev, said vaguely, "Hey, I liked your movie." To which Liev answered, "Thank you." And then, about five seconds later, from the stockboy: "You gonna do another one?"

Boomp3.com

Oscar favorite Anne Hathaway took to the produce of her local Whole Foods to recreate one of her favorite scenes from the movies, the shower dance from Flash Dance. The Rachel Getting Married star was perfectly in sync with the produce sprinkler system as she twirled around the fresh vegetable department. Hathaway’s impromptu dance number ended with a thunderous round of applause and a flurry of five and ten dollar bills.

[Photo Credit: X17]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

In a rush to finish her grocery shopping, beloved actress Kate Hudson decided to sneak her shopping cart into the express lane at Whole Foods. Hudson knew that she was well over the item limit for the trendy organic market, but believed her trademark charm would allow her to get away with it. After scanning a few items, the Whole Foods cashier noticed that Hudson was going to be well over the express lane limit and stopped scanning. Hudson wondered what the problem was, but the cashier pointed to the sign above her post with the item limit and added, "I've scanned the express lane limit, ma'am." Hudson asked if the cashier could give her a mulligan this time around and that the next time, she'll wait in the regular line with everybody else. The cashier pensively thought for a moment, then returned to scanning items. The cashier said, "This is only because I loved Raising Helen."

Photo Credit: Flynet

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

• "Two of Mr. Laswell's songs will be played overhead in Courtyard by Marriott lobbies and on the hotels' Web site."
• "The singer-songwriter has been a spokesman for Apple Inc.'s GarageBand software, showing off how to use the technology to record songs on a laptop."
• "His songs are being played before the previews at large movie theater chains like AMC Entertainment Holdings Inc. and at Landmark Theaters' art houses."
• "This summer, an online Pepsi and Amazon ad will feature an MP3 player with images of Mr. Laswell."
• "Indeed, Mr. Laswell's songs have been featured in two movies and 11 TV shows, including 'Grey's Anatomy'"
• "Mr. Laswell's EP, released in March to promote the July record, became part of the Artist Discovery Series of Whole Foods Markets Inc., where customers in grocery checkout lines saw him compared with EMI Group's Coldplay."

As long as he stays indie.

[WSJ]

boomp3.com

Svelte actress Christina Ricci objected to the vegetable tray presented to her while on the set of New York, I Love You. Ricci explained to the craft services caterer that she only eats organic vegetables. The caterer rolled her eyes and quietly said, "I bought this at Whole Foods."

[Photo Credit: X17]

This is a problem beyond just the yuck factor. Darryl Zeldin, a senior scientist with the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, says: "Cockroaches significantly increase asthma symptoms in allergic individuals. And while a third of inner-city residents are cockroach-sensitive, sensitivity to cockroach exposure is widespread in our nation - not just in the inner cities."

If Whole Foods' "green" move starts a trend among food stores, it may contribute to New York's asthma epidemic.

Stier also argues that people reuse plastic bags, whereas paper bags are just, I don't know, set on fire and tossed out the window. If you always suspected Whole Foods of being in league with cockroaches, YOU HAVE BEEN PROVEN RIGHT. Only plastic can save us now.

First of all, there were thirty women for every guy. And the guys were all pretty dorky. When you got there you had to wait in this massive line to register. Almost as soon as the event started, you had to go on a scavenger hunt. But instead of it being a group activity, one in which you might actually meet someone, you were supposed to do it alone. It was mostly historical culinary questions that you had to answer by roaming around the aisles.

"The hottest guys there were the ones selling granola and they weren't even part of the event," she said. There was also a message board where you could write secret messages to your fellow sad singles using the number written on their nametags. Lauren doesn't think any couplings were induced despite Gothamist's cupidity—and Craigslist's Missed Connections page, our go-to source on Whole Foods romance, seems to confirm it. Silly Gothamist readers. Don't they realize the really hot singles scene is at Yonah Schimmel's Knishery down the street?

[UPDATE: Josh's dumbass boss headlined this "Sausage Party" earlier because Doree quit yesterday and he's still upset and distracted. So it's her fault really. Fucking bitch. The post headline has been updated. Lord.]

EXT. FIRE ISLAND PINES HARBOR
The Saturday noon ferry has arrived to the harbor and streaming onto the dock are new arrivals. DAYTRIPPERS arrive with umbrellas, coolers, and backpacks, often with glimpses of swimwear visible under low-waisted cargo shorts. RESIDENTS and HOUSEGUESTS bring assorted luggage and bags from Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. Standing in the harbor is an assortment of GAYS, a few of whom wait to board, but most of whom await new arrivals.

LILLYGAY stands wearing a white oversized vee-neck teashirt and Lilly Pulitzer "Crabby Pants" swim trunks. With him is ETROGAY wearing a pink tank top and Etro striped trunks. Both point and wave to HOUSEGUEST who approaches them, drops a Barneys shopping bag filled with food and a canvas Jack Spade coal bag, and joins in a group hug.

BIOLOGICALWOMAN approaches the three and points to the ferry.

OTHERGUEST passes by with OTHERRESIDENT.

As the three walk away from the harbor, BIOLOGICALWOMAN is running toward the now departing boat, an iced coffee sweating in her hand.

Their latest effort to make nice is an event called Dietout taking place July 31st at the Bowery Whole Foods. It celebrates the release of Original Neighborhood Soundtracks. What sounds could possibly encapsulate aurally the neighborhood? A Scissor Sisters/meringue mashup? Or how about a fugue incorporating the drunk enthusiasm of Club 205 smokers, the pretentious patois of the Box customers, the polyrhythmic tattoo of scoops of Whole Foods salad hitting those annoyingly flimsy cardboard containers, and the jangly drone of shopping carts laden with Pirate's Booty and orange juice? It'll be like Stomp but sadder and realer.

Craig's most recent comment, on a post about Kurt Eichenwald, somewhat confusingly read, "Pinkberry lives up to the hype and it's almost as good as the Canadian version called Yogen Fruz." Ok, weird. But maybe he just loves Canada and frozen yogurt. His other comments however bely an obsession bordering on employment.

Fifth Pinkberry! Near Columbia! 03/06/07

BY DAVECRAIG AT 09:29 AM

Pinkberry seems to be taking over new york. Their frozen yogurt is pretty good but we've tasted even better frozen yogurt in toronto at a place called yogen fruz, and they've been doing it like, forever.

"Pinkberry People" To Look Into Flavor Swirling! 02/20/07
BY DAVECRAIG AT 10:00 AM

Arguing about frozen yogurt is so new york. Have you tasted froyo in asia? I believe the store's called Yogen Fruz. You wont believe it till u try it. Cool and nice. Lot's of flavor to choose from too.

BY DAVECRAIG AT 09:50 AM

Up in Canada, Yogen Fruz has been rockin' frozen yogurt for like, two decades, and you get all the flavors your tastebuds can enjoy.

Pinkberry "Will Never Conquer Tasti-D," Claims Lady 02/20/07
BY DAVECRAIG AT 09:54 AM

I hear that froyo was invented in Toronto, not LA by these dudes called Yogen Fruz, and people tell me that this Yogen Fruz chain is the real deal

When I was reporting on the meltdown of Mackey's dotcom spinoff, WholePeople, some Whole Foods employees whispered to me about Mackey's love of Yahoo Finance's message boards. It was a tip I didn't have time to follow up on as I chased down the details of how Mackey's absences, followed by meddling, botched WholePeople's launch. Towards the very end of my reporting, days before the story went to press, Mackey answered some questions by email. And that's where he almost — almost — gave himself away.

Whole Foods had agreed to sell what was left of WholePeople to Gaiam, an e-commerce company founded by Jirka Rysavy, a close friend of Mackey. Mackey agreed to be Gaiam's co-CEO. I asked him if that role would distract him from running Whole Foods. Here's what he told me on July 15, 2000:

I'll decrease my involvement there as the transition is complete.... My title of co-CEO of Gaiam.com is largely titular and transitional.

I doubt Mackey will stay heavily involved with Gaiam.com. I expect his CEO role is more transitional and titular.

Earlier: The Lower East Side Whole Foods: Now Serving Racial Stereotypes

I noticed this man come up to me when I was standing in line," a tall, blonde, 22-year-old student who lives in NoLIta, Marya Spence, said. "He opened the door for me as I was leaving and asked me, 'Is this the exit for the beautiful girls?' He was maybe 40, so it just wasn't a match."

But perhaps these lovelorn are looking in the wrong Whole Foods. Our recommendation is Union Square.

From a Craigslist's post headlined Whole Foods Goddess:

You know who you are... The shiny, fit, toned, stunningly beautiful lady who after a refreshing yoga session is innocently perusing the isles of the Union Square Whole Foods. You are drop dead gorgeous and know it yet you are too classy to not be at least slightly embarrassed if someone brought it to your attention.

Yeah I know, how dare I request an audience with a golden goddess? The arrogance! Guilty as charged. I do have a high opinion of myself and would like a "goddess" to my "god" (isn't it the ideal?). In my defense though watching an endless parade of cover-girl "beauties" walk hand in hand with Shrek, Napoleon Dynamite, and Broke Back Dude #12 is really starting to break my heart.

That being said I am not superficial and really do appreciate the holistic connection between inner and outer beauty.

Truthfully, I am not really looking for anything romantic (but I am not ruling out romance either). It would just be nice to roll to a park or a museum with a goddess and just chill and enjoy the energy of two beautiful people hanging out.

Obviously my premise is that looks are important and crucial to even platonic chemistry. I included pics and you can see more of me at: www.myspace.com/omargallery. There are no indescent images and it's basically a shoot I did and posted for a model scout (I actually smile in some shots).

Basic info:6'3" slim and very fit and health conscious.

Born in Trinidad raised in NYC, reside in Queens, am a museum exhibiting fine artist, published children's book author and illustrator, theatrically screened filmaker and sometimes model.

Unfortunately I am not "paid" and work a day job. It seems privilege, mediocrity, and crime are the main ways to make money but I do feel that when one is consistently successful and accomplished that financial fortune is assured.

Anyhow, if anyone does respond please include recent pics that clearly show what your face and body look like presently (it's only fair).

And so I cast my message in a bottle out to the sea...

Byrne, not shy to open his mouth, often uses the handle "Hannibal" (which he apparently wants everyone to know is a reference to the historic general who failed to conquer Rome rather than the fictional cannibal) to post at Overstock.com's Investor Village and other discussion boards. The CEO claims "he never hides his true identity and always signs his name when he posts under his online handle," but Gary Weiss observes that Byrne does not always make his true identity transparent.

Paul Kedrosky, who we enjoy and link to often, tells the Times he thinks the practice is widespread:

'I'm convinced it's broader than anybody knows," he said, "I'm convinced this is the tip of the iceberg.' Mr. Kedrosky said that one chief executive recently told him that he almost had to 'chew off my right arm to keep from participating' in an online forum. He declined to name the company but said, 'It's a hard temptation to walk away from.'

Unlike his CEO pal, Kedrosky is man enough to jump in the comments under his own name when the temptation to respond online is too great to resist. I, myself, have to admit to making the mistake of using a false identity. But not everyone is gutsy enough to admit it. So, readers, do you know of, or suspect, any executives or bloggers who are secretly posting online under a false identity? If so, send them in.