Barbara Walters: Lesbian

On The View today the crones were talking to out gay person David Hyde Pierce, and he mentioned that he never gets to do love scenes. Generously, Whoopi said she'd do one with ol' Niles. Then, perhaps finally sensing her opportunity, ringleader Barbara Walters made a pass at Ms. Goldberg. More »

Whoopi Goldberg to Glenn Beck: 'You're a Lying Sack of Dog Mess'

Glenn Beck, Fox News' resident Barnumesque dildo, was a guest on The View today, and, predictably, things became contentious on set, even more so because of a bullshit story about an encounter with Whoopi and Babs that Beck recently peddled on his radio show, so Whoopi went off on him. More »

Whoopi Goldberg to Fashion Critic: 'Kiss My Ass'

TV Guide magazine wrote some not-so-nice things about View cohost Whoopi Goldberg's fashion choices, and she got a little mad. She called one writer an "anonymous bitch" and instructed her to kiss her ass. More »

Why Yes, Ben Lyons WAS On 'The View' Today!

Today on The View, Ebert usurper Ben Lyons took his place next to Elisabeth Hasselbeck in what could only have felt more like a Defamer-targeted Last Supper if Joaquin Phoenix had crashed it, rapping. More »

'View' Shocker: Whoopi Goldberg Smokes The Pot

The ladies of The View will be bringing their lively political debate and unparalleled sling-mounting techniques to our area in March, taping a week of shows from the Disney lot in Burbank. More »

Quick-Thinking Whoopi Fashions Sherri-Anchoring Bungee-Bra

The only exercise the View chicks get lately is from kicking each other under the Hot Topics desk, so it was a refreshing change to see Sherri Shepherd engaged in some actual physical activity. More »

'View' Co-Hosts Realize They've Created a Monster In 'Idol' Von Smith

Just who is this terrible Von Smith, who appeared on American Idol last night? That's what the ladies of The View wondered, before being reminded that he'd actually performed on their show in 2007. More »

Josh Brolin's Drunk-Ish Awards Tour Steamrolls Whoopi Goldberg, Richard Jenkins

Whether or not Josh Brolin was drunk again last night's NBR ceremony, his speech featured so much gin-soaked verisimilitude that we fully expected him to end it by slur-shouting, "Josh Brolin's got issues!" More »

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Can't Wait Until We Appreciate Bush Like We Do Lincoln

Perhaps cognizant that very soon they wouldn't have George W. Bush to kick around anymore, the ladies of The View brought the crazy shouting and insane assertions big-time this morning. More »

Barbara Walters's Passive-Aggressive Streak Now Just Aggressive-Aggressive

Today, an insane Barbara Walters gave us the clip that will be played on the news in slow-motion when she finally uses her costume jewelry to garrote Elisabeth Hasselbeck. More »

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: A Nightmarish Year In Review

Peer into The View, and soon The View starts to peer into you. Before long, you may develop a sudden affinity for pirate shirts and a tendency to shout "William Ayers!"

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Ready to Gloat About Obama's Invocation Speaker

Yesterday, Barack Obama's inauguration committee announced its choice for invocation speaker: controversial Saddelback founder Rick Warren. Elisabeth Hasselbeck, no doubt expecting a bomb-laden address from William Ayers, couldn't have been more pleased.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Attempts to Sneak In Rare Apology Before Commercial

The other day, The View's resident conservative/pirate couture expert Elisabeth Hasselbeck chose to assail Deepak Chopra not with any of the clear, New Agey ammunition at hand, but with the ethnically questionable order, "Go light a bowl of incense!" This comment, er, incensed some Indians, who saw it as a potential slur.

Millions Have Fought For Whoopi Goldberg's Right To Not Know What 'Suffrage' Means

Today on The View, Whoopi Goldberg (dressed as a Navajo jewelry saleswoman from Tuba City, Arizona) continued to press the topic that has quickly proved to be the show's brand-new, post-election argument starter: same-sex marriage. More »

The Bid To Soften Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Thwarted By A Napkin

Our operative on The View has informed us that in an attempt to curb the audience negativity toward Elisabeth Hasselbeck that's built up over the last political season, producers are encouraging her to host fluffier segments (like bargain shopping and makeovers!) and to discuss her family more on-air. Sadly, Hasselbeck's attempt to do the latter on today's edition resulted in husband-directed hysteria pitched at a level where only dogs and William Ayers can hear. More »

No Limitations! It only took twelve years, but the last week of The View finally put the program over the top to become the highest-rated show in daytime. In particular, the November 5 edition attracted the show's biggest audience ever (6.2 million), no doubt fueled by interest in Elisabeth Hasselbeck's concession speech the day after Barack Obama's historic presidential victory. When reached for comment, Hasselbeck responded, "William Ayers?" [Variety]

Sherri Shepherd Vows to Defend Biblical Definition of Marriage That She Cannot Remember

Who would've thunk it: apparently, The View's dunderheaded, error-ridden discussion of California's Proposition 8 didn't go over so well with the gay community! On today's show, Whoopi Goldberg divulged that the co-hosts had received angry phone calls from both GLAAD and Ellen DeGeneres in the wake of Friday's conversation. Unfortunately, Goldberg's list of errata and fact checks didn't stop Sherri Shepherd and Elisabeth Hasselbeck from committing a few more blunders. More »

Sherri Shepherd's Goodwill Vanishes as She Repeats Insane Prop 8 Falsehoods

Yes, we know, Sherri Shepherd used to think the earth was flat, and thus, we never should have put too much stock in her opinions. Still, it was hard, America! She really appeared to be trying, often showing up with research, shouting down false statements made by Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and then finally earning our affection with a tremendously affecting Obamalogue this past Wednesday. Sadly, the good times could not last, as Shepherd wandered back into the wilds of ignorance for today's View discussion of Proposition 8. More »

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Delivers Her Concession Speech

If there's been anything more contentious and exhausting than the battle to become the nation's next president, it has been The View's high-octane coverage of the election. Emotions still ran high on today's show, as an overcome Sherri Shepherd cried on camera about the impact of Barack Obama's victory. Before that, though, Barbara Walters turned to Elisabeth Hasselbeck and rightly noted, "All eyes are gonna be on you." More »

Sherri Shepherd Ponders Why 'SNL' Is Not Ready For Black Comediennes

Compared to its Tina Fey-scripted, Debbie Matenopolous-spoofing skits of yore, Saturday Night Live's parody of The View this week felt awfully underpopulated. On today's actual episode of the daytime chat show, the ladies speculated as to why SNL left out two-fifths of the show's hosts, leading Sherri Shepherd to conclude, "I think they ran out of blacks!" More »

As Ronald Reagan on 'The View,' Elisabeth Just Says No To Joy Behar

We told you to steel yourselves, and now here it is: following Whoopi Goldberg's sartorial lead, the other co-hosts of The View dressed up as men today for Halloween. Presidents, in fact! They even introduced themselves in character, which was a little bit awkward when Barbara Walters-as-George Washington babbled on about freeing her slaves in a manner so leading that she practically demanded Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd fall at her feet in exultant praise. Then, it was Elisabeth Hasselbeck's turn. More »

The Horror! Here is what you have to look forward to tomorrow, America: The View has pretaped its Halloween episode, in which the ladies are dressed, ridiculously, as presidents. From left to right, we have Whoopi Goldberg as the wheelchair-bound Franklin D. Roosevelt, Joy Behar as Teddy Roosevelt, Sherri Shepherd as Abraham Lincoln on the penny, Elisabeth Hasselbeck as a drag king version of Ronald Reagan, and Barbara Walters as George Washington (with whom she once had a fabulous conversation as they snacked on crudités at a Dominick Dunne-hosted dinner party). Click through for full-size. [The View]

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Will Not Negotiate With Terrorists (Including Joy Behar)

There's a blissful, View-free weekend coming up (well, except for Floridians), but until then, we leave you with this clip of an undaunted Elisabeth Hasselbeck locking horns with Whoopi Goldberg on today's show. The conservative co-host challenged Goldberg about the folly of negotiating with terrorists (a position we're sure she came to after the unilateral talks between her and Joy Behar collapsed spectacularly backstage). Instead, Hasselbeck embraced a brand of conflict resolution no doubt passed on by benevolent dictator Barbara Walters: no negotiations (or hugs), just a simple cold shoulder, a passive-aggressive remark, and a threatening, late-night phone call from someone who sounds a whole lot like Henry Kissinger. More »

ABC Bans Hasselbeck From Sporting All Unflattering McCainwear

When Elisabeth Hasselbeck wore a John McCain-boosting T-shirt on Tuesday's installment of The View, little did she know it would set off a 24-hour, Defamer-consuming chain reaction that would lead to booing, a now-notorious backstage conflict, and a through-the-looking-glass emergence of this humble blogspot as one of the show's Hot Topics (also, it introduced us to Sheetzucacapoopoo — thanks, Elisabeth!). Now, as Hasselbeck prepares to introduce vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin at two Florida rallies this weekend, one of our agents at The View informs us that the problematic T-shirt was the subject of a contentious ABC conference call today: More »

On Today's 'View,' Defamer is the Hot Topic!

After Regis confronted Whoopi Goldberg today about the inter-host fighting on The View, we had a feeling that our exclusive report about backstage tensions between Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck might be addressed on today's installment, and that both Behar and Hasselbeck would summarily dismiss the conflict as a load of Sheetzucacapoopoo. What we didn't expect was the weird, elusive way the hosts attempted to talk around the issue. More »

'It's Never Personal': Whoopi Goldberg Spends the Morning on 'View' Damage Control

You can take the Whoopi out of the girlfight at The View, but you can't necessarily take the girlfight out of Whoopi. That seems to be the lesson learned this morning on Live with Regis and Kelly, where Ms. Goldberg — who was out sick for Wednesday's particularly violent drama — played dumb, then defensive, then philosophical about the onscreen battles (not to mention the fantastic backstage bloodbaths) plaguing her show's panel. "What is the problem with those women?" asks Regis, his furrowed brow projecting the sincere concern of a man who knows a thing or two about handling high-strung co-hosts. If there is peace to be found in this literal no-man's-land, surely Reeg will mediate it — assuming, that is, no one burns Elisabeth Hasselbeck down before then. [Live with Regis and Kelly]

Republican Cheerleader Elisabeth Hasselbeck Booed On 'View' For Second Day in a Row

We must admit that when we turned on the television this morning and heard the words, "Today on The View: Bill O'Reilly," we knew it would take more than a loofah to scrub the ensuing political confrontations out of our brains. Still, despite the fact that O'Reilly straight-up called Barack Obama a Communist, the real fireworks came before his arrival, as Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck hashed things out sans the careful moderation of Whoopi Goldberg (who was sick at home today). More »

'View' Audience Laughs At McCain Tee-Clad Elisabeth, Who Finally Promises to Stop Talking

Sure, we can usually count on Elisabeth Hasselbeck to make fashion statements that are almost as loud as her constant shouts of "But what about William Ayers...!" Still, even we were impressed by her chutzpah when she showed up to today's edition of The View wearing a salmon-colored t-shirt emblazoned with the words "Great AmeriMcCain Hero." The audience, however, was in a less forgiving mood toward the conservative co-host today. More »

Whoopi and Joy Pound Elisabeth, Table On 'The View'

The inter-host squabbling has become so heated on The View that there's little a celebrity guest can do to keep up (short of revealing dramatic, semi-incestuous childhood memories), so it's no surprise that producers have been scheduling more and more all-"Hot Topic" editions, as they did this morning. Also no surprise? Things got absolutely bananas today, as Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar reached heretofore-unglimpsed levels of annoyance with Elisabeth Hasselbeck while arguing about a weekend full of juicy political news. More »

Say Goodbye to Elisabeth Hasselbeck's Pajamas!

Republican hearts raced this morning as conservative pin-up girl Elisabeth Hasselbeck told the audience of The View that she'd be showing off what she wears to bed every night. Would it be an oversized McCain/Palin '08 tee? A frilly nightgown from the Fox News gift shop? Or maybe even a fetching blue two-piece? More »

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has a New Pro-Palin Ally in Whoopi Goldberg

Lone View conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck is typically out on a limb when her cohosts start talking politics; to expect someone else at the table to take up her pro-Palin, anti-Obama mantle is as fruitless as expecting a hug from Barbara Walters. That's what made it all the more novel today when Whoopi Goldberg agreed with Hasselbeck that Sarah Palin has been the victim of sexist attacks, then attempted to shut down additional critiques of the candidate from Joy Behar. More »

Star Jones Finally Ready to Unload On Those 'Hateful' Women of 'The View'

Perhaps upset that Elisabeth Hasselbeck has usurped her crown as the most reviled woman ever to spout off on The View, Star Jones has warned the upcoming issue of Essence, "Star is back!" Batten down your hatches accordingly, then head into the mind of Star for her thoughts on everything from her gastric bypass ("If I had just been honest, there would not have been a backlash") to her pining, gay ex-husband ("I'm not in love with him") to...oh hell, we're just delaying the good stuff: Star slinging shit at the ladies of The View, who she deems "hateful"! More »

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Will Bet Her 'Blond Highlights' That Obama's a Crook

After a remarkably sedate, breast cancer-themed episode of The View yesterday, the political fur flew once again this morning as Elisabeth Hasselbeck continued to press the last line of Republican defense: Barack Obama's tenuous tie to William Ayers. This time, Joy Behar (over the protests of a sneezing Whoopi Goldberg) tried to raise the issue of Sarah Palin's ties to an Alaska secessionist group, but Elisabeth would not be deterred — and she had a glossy trump card yet to play. More »

The Newly Emboldened Sherri Shepherd Finally Uses 'Nuclear Option' on Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Yesterday's unlikely emergence of Sherri Shepherd as The View's new foil to Elisabeth Hasselbeck was no fluke! As you might be able to discern from the fierce, finger-wagging screencap up above, Shepherd set it off on today's program (and View producers helpfully sat the two budding rivals next to each other for maximum in-your-face screaming). More »

Now, Even Sherri Shepherd Treats Elisabeth Hasselbeck Like 'The Stupid One'

For all too long, Sherri Shepherd has stayed relatively quiet on The View, keeping a low profile (except for the occasional blow-up at Bill Maher) and generally avoiding the sort of "flat earth" gaffes that would draw the pity spotlight away from her cohost Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Today, though, in the midst of another Hasselbeck political rant about Barack Obama's association with William Ayers, a surprisingly prepared Shepherd jumped in to rebut the show's token conservative with a "Wait, wait, wait — no you don't!" More »

Hasselbeck Not Leaving 'The View' Until She Adorns Her Living Room Wall With Four Bloody Scalps

Back when Rosie O'Donnell left The View, many industry watchers predicted the program would quickly return to its safe, easygoing roots (and that ratings would dive as a result). Oh, how they underestimated the Hasselbeck! The election year has provoked The View's resident Republican into a lather almost daily, whether she's obfuscating about Barack Obama or calling an unlikely moratorium on Sarah Palin discussion. In fact, things have gotten so heated lately that rampant speculation had Hasselbeck headed for Fox News, forcing her agent to issue a statement today: More »

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Would Prefer It If You Just Ignored That Palin/Couric Debacle

After Elisabeth Hasselbeck nearly brained Barbara Walters yesterday using a coffee mug filled with steaming-hot Republican rage, producers for The View wisely kept Walters away from today's show, though things were just as politically heated. Today — as it often is — the topic was Sarah Palin, and Hasselbeck's had quite enough of that issue, thank you very much! More »

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Is Now Thisclose to Braining Barbara Walters With Her Floral Coffee Mug

Looks like that cooling-off period didn't take! On today's episode of The View, outnumbered McCain booster Elisabeth Hasselbeck finally let out the pent-up rage she'd so coolly kept under wraps during yesterday's Bill Maher appearance, lashing out at Whoopi Goldberg for voicing skepticism about vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. More »