Gawker: Whoopi Goldberg

"You And Sherri…Us White Folk, We'll Take Care Of You!"

Moe — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:31:24 EDT

John McCain went on The View this morning to talk oversimply about all the typical emotional hot-button issues you'd rather hear Sarah Palin mispronounce stuff while talking about. But shit, Whoopi made it kind of awesome! After getting John McCain to babble off the classic "strict constructionist" platitudes about how the Founding Fathers who wrote the Constitution would have definitely wanted all those hypothetical future states it would annex over the next hundred fifty years to be allowed to decide for themselves whether to outlaw a type of surgery that would gain popularity some time after the invention of reliable anesthesia they could have easily forseen would occur sixty years into the future at the time of the signing…Whoopi asked if she should be worried about returning to slavery!

And stupid strict constructionist Republicans: how do they not have a comeback for this one? Has John McCain never spoken to a black person? Because that will actually have to change! Anyway, Barbara Walters saves it by imagining herself as some sort of latter-day Harriet Tubman.

Whoopi's Tax Talk on The View: "Shit"

Sheila — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:37:19 EDT

How many times does astute political analyst Whoopi Goldberg need to tell you, and her cohorts on The View, that they're going to have to raise taxes? "Whoever gets in there [as President] is gonna have to raise taxes. It's B.S. We don't have any money! ... Shit," she mutters at the end of the clip, as the rest of the ladies wisely ignore her. (Click to watch.)

Whoopi's Weirdo Mom's Day Video

Sheila — Mon, 05 May 2008 16:56:24 EDT

Do you have a neighbor lady who's around middle age, doesn't seem to have a job (so she's home a lot during the day), and smokes a lot of pot? Is she full of loopy life lessons and socio-political theories she regales you with when you go over there to buy drugs? Is her name Whoopi Goldberg? Anyway, her Mother's Day video on WowOwow is priceless. "The day to go to Disneyland? Is today! 'Cause it's Mother's Day! No one goes to Disneyland on Mother's Day." Hey, everybody! This Mother's Day, freak your mom out by getting high and making her a video. She'll never ~~forgive~~ forget it. [WowOwow]

Celebrity Doyennes Launch Your Mom's New Favorite Site

Ryan Tate — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:41:07 EST

Five old media blondes are launching a website for women over 40 and enlisting their closest celebrity friends to contribute! The site is called WowOWow.com, which is supposed to refer to "Women On The Web," and should launch Saturday. It sounds a lot like that other celebrity website, the Huffington Post, except more like The View and less tech savvy — a good deal of the content is submitted via telephone calls, faxes and probably dictaphone cylinders that are then transcribed into digital bits by pitiable lackeys who "speak cyber," as one editor put it. The founders, who contributed $200,000 each, are Post columnist Liz Smith, 85; former advertising execute Mary Wells, 79; 60 Minutes reporter Leslie Stahl, 67; former Simon & Schuster President Joni Evans, 65; and Wall Street Journal Columnist Peggy Noonan, 57. They have wisely recruited contributors like Lily Tomlin, Candice Bergen and token-non-white-lady Whoopie Goldberg. But how can this thing take of with an address like "WowOWow.com?" After the jump, a number of more descriptive and accurate domain names, all still available at the time of posting:

MenopausalPost.com
Women.OfACertainRage.com
FaceliftsBook.com
HuffyOldPost.com
OleBiddies.com
WeAllDyeOurHair.com
Here.ALinkFromMom.com

Whoopi Goldberg Reminded Of Own Failures Every Day, But Especially Today

Richard — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 12:37:49 EST

Ohh dear. Not only does Whoopi Goldberg have to suffer the daily indignity of being a chatting head on The View, but now her co-hosts had to go and rub it in that the Oscar winning actress and Oscar hosting actress was not shown in one of the montages last night. Sherri Shepherd prattled on and on about how it must be so terrible to feel so slighted and Barbara Walters inadvertently said that nothing Whoopi did on the Oscars was a Great Moment. Whoopi just sat there, miserable, trying to telekinetically collect the remaining shards of her dignity that were being strewn around the soft-touch set, willy-nilly. Embarrassing video after the jump.

Fabian Basabe Asks: Fat Oprah or Wired Whoopi?

Pareene — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 15:23:37 EST

Faded it-boy and friend to all races Fabian Basabe knows Oprah, good people, and he will not have you bad-mouthing her. From, ugh, his blog:

While recovering from our performance, what better to do then go through "Best and Worst Bodies of the Year" in this week Star magazine issue? So, between a longoria here and a Kate moss there, we flipped a page and suddenly realized that the world has gone mad!!!!! More or less, here you have the headline: "Oprah LIES! Her 60lbs weight gain is for eating binges and not a thyroid problem like she said". I mean!!! There are just some things that cannot be done, and believe me - my list on that one is pretty short, but even I know that you don't fuck with Oprah! People, do not abuse your freedom of speech, it is not a free world, it is Oprah's world, Star Magazine, you are in so much trouble! I met Oprah when I was invited to her show, an experience I will never forget, and trust me, there is no one bigger! When I said goodbye she hugged me, and I am still not sure weather she did it because she liked me or because she thought I needed and hug, but whatever the case... StarMag, what are you thinking, accusing Oprah of lying and calling her fat!

Also he got a text from a friend that said Whoopi Goldberg was blowing rails at The Cock, which leads him to pose a fascinating thought question about which famous daytime TV black lady "you" would rather sleep with. Totally gross, Fab! That'd be almost like kissing a girl!

The Life and Times of Fabian Basabe: "...but even I know that you don't f*ck with Oprah" [Fabian Basabe's Blog]
Image via Rob Rich

Laura Ingraham Co-Hosts 'The View,' Barely Escapes Stabbing

Maggie — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 16:30:16 EST

So the token nice blond conservative on "The View," Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who recently popped out a baby named Taylor Thomas, has been replaced by guest host and token uber-bitch blond conservative ABC Radio talk show host, Laura Ingraham. Come now, ABC, cross-promotion aside: Surely there are other voices that could also use representation in your little femme-medley. Say, oh, maybe an Asian-American woman, a college-aged student, a Southeast Asian woman, a senior citizen or a dude? Sigh. Instead, we must resign ourselves to listening to Ingraham, who, while not an idiot (unless you're speaking to Eric Alterman, who thinks she so totally is), is so distasteful that their seething rage at her is probably one of the few things "The View" ladies can agree on.

During yesterday's show above, Whoopi Goldberg looked like she was seriously contemplating decking Ingraham. We can't say that we particularly blame her! We especially enjoyed the moment when Ingraham asks, "Do you want to win in Iraq, Barbara?" to which Walters answers "Now, come on," while looking at Ingraham as though she's a teenager whose reason has been hormone-hijacked.

During Ingraham's career at Dartmouth College, which we know a little about, Ingraham routinely avoided patronizing restaurants she suspected employed gay waiters, for fear one of them might breathe on her food, thereby infecting her with AIDS. An awkward habit to explain later, when her brother Curtis came out to her!

While working for the conservative campus paper The Dartmouth Review during the 1980s, Ingraham sent an undercover reporter to secretly tape a meeting of gay and lesbian students, under the auspices of pursuing a follow-the-money story on where a mandatory $100-per-student activities fee went. "The View's" latest guest co-host then went on to print the names of those students, who had not been made aware a reporter was present.

The piece she then ran denounced the group as "cheerleaders for latent campus sodomites."

In 1997, Ingraham wrote a piece for The Washington Post lamenting that people continue to judge her for her "deeds and misdeeds in college," and explained the Review story by noting that "The group received college funding but, unlike every other student group receiving a college grant, refused to make public its membership or budget. We wanted to find out how student funds were being spent and to demonstrate the double standard Dartmouth had created by funding the group."

She also apologized for the Review's "callous rhetoric," explaining that since learning of her brother's sexuality, "my views and rhetoric about homosexuality have been tempered—not because Curtis proselytizes on gay rights, but because I have seen him and his companion, Richard, lead their lives with dignity, fidelity and courage."

Hmmm. Okay! Standing up for your rights bad! Courageous (and quiet) dignity good! Embedded homophobic tendencies aside, we're more disturbed by her continual appearance in fraternity basements during Dartmouth's Homecoming, where she has been known to frighten more than a few frat brothers by out-drinking and out-Republican-ing them into the wee hours.

'Time' Person Of The Year: Might Be Less Sucky Than Last Year?

Maggie — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:05:56 EST

Each fall, Time magazine hosts a panel luncheon to put forward nominations for their annual super-special "Person of the Year" issue. The magazine feeds a couple hundred media folks and then pretends to let them participate in the decision—they also hand out gift bags, which was a good enough reason for us to go today! This year's panelists: Brian Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, George Allen, MySpace co-founder Chris DeWolfe and rockstar activist Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Last year's much-ridiculed mylar heraldee—you! I mean, me!—requires a decent recovery for 2007. This is why it was so lame that Williams, Whoopi and DeWolfe all suggested some take on the environment. Whoopi even went all abstract on us, choosing just the word green. Too much Joy Behar exposure, perhaps?

Now, in our defense, we recycle, we turn off lights, we don't even litter, which basically qualifies us as saints in this city. We have been known to, upon occasion, not completely tune out Al Gore.

Still... a Time rendition of Vanity Fair's "Green Issue" leaves us cold.

Former senator George Allen, who's been stumping so long he can put an audience into a trance faster than most, suggested General Petraeus "and the troops." Of course, of course, the troops too!

Ali seemed to be the only one who didn't make up her answer in the elevator; she chose French prez Nicholas Sarkozy. Hammy Brian Williams had some mic trouble; "No thanks, Whoops," he answered when the "View" host offered him hers. Is it just us, or are Williams' much-written about secret comedy chops on their way to being overexposed?

Still! We do give him props for verbally smacking the 41-year-old MySpace guy (whose alternate suggestion—surprise!&mdash was his new boss, Rupert Murdoch) when he tried to sound 15-years-old by saying he wasn't exactly sure what this General Petraeus guy was all about. (And he isn't even the MySpace founder who lies about his age!)

The real message in the news, "whatever that message may be," gets lost for young people, he thinks. Honey. AARP's got you on deck; you sound silly.

"My wife and I thank you," an almost misty-eyed George Allen said to a horrified Whoopi Goldberg, thanking her for "Ghost." WTMI, Senator, seriously.

And a slightly scary Post grande dame Liz Smith scolded the panel for being too upbeat, and TV chat-host Joe Scarborough, who is awfully tall, suggested George W. Bush. That did it for Whoopi, who then kicked everyone out. We thus leave it to you, dear readers, because other than maybe that "your mom" should be Time's Person Of The Year, we got nothing.

What Did Whoopi Goldberg Know About Becoming The 'View' Host, And When Did She Know It?

Doree Shafrir — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 12:28:32 EDT

In June, our crack videographer/reporter Alex Goldberg happened upon one Whoopi Goldberg on the streets of Soho, waiting in line to buy an iPhone. He asked her about becoming the host of The View. And then look what happened today! We'll never believe anything else she says!