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take back the internet

'Times' Twitters as Rome Blogs


So the New York Times has a Twitter account. (Twitter is the internet thing that tells everyone in the world what you're doing so they can make fun of you properly.) And it's an embarrassment! More embarrassing is the Twitter account for "The Moment," their new... blog-thing that is tied to T Magazine, the content-free style supplement to the Times Magazine. This Twitter is weird and aggressively friendly! But... who is behind it? Whose far-too-casual first-person Tweet are we even following? (Probably "Jonathan S. Paul," who posted about Twittering about posting this Art Party.) Whoever it is got drunk at an Art Party last night and peed next to Sean Lennon. Right now T twitter is following all the other Times Twitter accounts that just link back to things at the Times. If they really wanted to get all Webby they'd start a Tumblr that bitched about Gawker. [Twitter via Radar]

10:43 AM on Fri Jun 20 2008
By Pareene
1,221 views, 9 comments

Latest by Thatcornellguy: @Lazy Susan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....no more »

Kill Chace Chace Crawford, the lovely, delicate, ladylike Gossip Girl actor, has just gone and called volatile Reservoir Dogs actor Michael Madsen "a little crazy and a bit of a boozer." Oh dear. I think that pretty mug has a big, meaty knuckle sandwich coming its way. [Showbiz Spy]

16 comments

no idea why

Inexplicable Cultural Minutiae Of The Day

So, what does James Michael Tyler, the actor who played "Central Perk" manager Gunther on Friends, have to say about our Cash-Waving Craigslist Dater? "It's continually astounding how deep and wide the cultural divide can seem at a distance. It is equally affirming to recognize that the chasm may be breached by a few well placed words of wisdom." Possibly the most random quote ever to come into existence. [Animal NY]

4:56 PM on Tue May 27 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
1,116 views, 17 comments

karaoke

Evening News Anchor, Bathhouse Performer Duet

Bette Midler is "opening a park for kids on the Lower East Side," apparently. Anything to keep them out of the Johnson's, right? Anyway—Katie Couric was the co-sponsor. So here is a video of Katie Couric singing with The Divine Miss M. They duet on "Downtown." It's not that embarrassing, really. "When I'm 64" is a bit worse. By the time they get to "Age of Aquarius," though, you will be begging for the sober professionalism of a 3 a.m. Sunday morning performance at Second on Second.

1:23 PM on Thu May 22 2008
By Pareene
253 views, 6 comments

Latest by freewrite: This really should have been labeled NSFW. My ears are bleeding all over my TPS reports. more »

bad decisions

TMZ Helps Gangsters Identify Next Target

Suge Knight, CEO of Death Row Records, intimidating former football player, and certified gangster, somehow got himself knocked out at a club on Saturday night. Odd! Even odder: the guy who did the knocking allowed TMZ to take his picture, although "he didn't want us to use his name." Message to that guy: Run, you fool! Run for your life! Message to Suge Knight: we are on your side in this and all other disputes, and don't let anyone tell you any differently. But seriously, Mr. Punchy: Run. Below, two pictures of Suge Knight laid out unconscious, which should not be construed as disrespectful to him in any way: More »

5:43 PM on Mon May 12 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
7,093 views, 56 comments

Latest by Final: Have you ever seen a fist this big? Where is Chris Tucker when you need him? He has one line, and one line only and isn't over unconscious Suge to deliver the goods? Cuz you got knocked the fuck out, more »

clips

Penn Jillette Appalls Joe Scarborough With Old Joke

Loud, shouty, occasional magician Penn Jillette was on MSNBC, talking about politics. Why? It's unclear. He had some misogynistic anti-Hillary joke that became a YouTube thing a while back. Now the joke is old and tired (like HILLARY CLINTON, right??) but Penn dutifully repeated, along with his claim that the fact that the joke went over so well with his crazy audience meant Hil was doomed from day one. He doesn't really seem to think that says anything too terrible about the nation, but whatever. Point is: arbiter of civility Joe Scarborough disapproved. And sad Mika Brzezinski said only, "I don't like that." Clip attached.

1:35 PM on Wed May 7 2008
By Pareene
4,204 views, 12 comments

Latest by VeeKaChu: Mika's just following the Sexual Harrassment Handbook, Rule #1- "When someone makes a comment in the workplace that is innapropriate and makes you feel uncomfortable, immediately tell them 'I don't like that!'" Notice that he stopped. Good girl. more »

blogging

Ryan Adams Has Blue Hair But Still Loves Women

In the greatest non-sequitur of our time, the scruffy-bloggy New York musician Ryan Adams writes in his best friend, his daily blog: "My hair looked like this until the dye really set and now it's fucking weird electric blue. But still, I love women, I love the shape of their bodies, and I love how they talk and how they are able to separate sentimentality from being in the now..." More »

6:04 PM on Tue Apr 29 2008
By Sheila
3,820 views, 13 comments

music

Stalk Scarlett Johansson Via Music Video

We now have one answer, at least, to the question of why actress Scarlett Johansson recorded an album of Tom Waits cover songs. It's not just the promo pictures! It's also so there can be a music video in which we, her many fans, get to follow Johansson around during one of her trying days, be all impressed as she hangs out with smarty pants writer Salman Rushdie and sympathize as makeup is painstakingly applied to her face and her hair curled. We also stalk Johansson as she jets off on an airplane and then, upon landing, washes her face. She also gets flowers from fans and shuttled around in the back of an SUV. I actually can't stop watching. And the song is growing on me. I have actually come to agree that Johannson's voice "works convincingly in the musical context" of the song. Frightening! Watch the pretty lady sing the scary song, over and over again, after the jump. More »

7:59 AM on Tue Apr 29 2008
By Ryan Tate
14,887 views, 50 comments

Latest by zaky: Anything sounds legitimate with a banjo, right? This totally blows. This is like, "Uh, I'm bored. What should I do? Oh, I'll do a cover album. Of Tom Waits songs. But I can't sing. But whatever, I'm rich." more »

art

Swiss Upbringing Turns Photographer Violent

25-year-old photographer David Houncheringer is from Switzerland, an idyllic nation that has one major flaw: not enough murders. Houncheringer is doing his part to correct that, through art. Which is mightier than the gun! The young man has series of photos called "Would you like to die today?" He says, "I really enjoy seeing people watching these 'hard' pictures. Most of them laugh. Others are shocked. But they watch 15 murders a day on TV so I don't care." And he adds, "If someone wants to die, don't hesitate to contact us!" So keep that in mind! He has a point, though; these could be mistaken for stills from any episode of "CSI." Three bloody samples from his series [via First Magazine], after the jump. More »

3:24 PM on Fri Apr 11 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
4,074 views, 78 comments

Latest by Rosewater: If he feels like he's missing out so much, why doesn't he just move to the U.S.A.?! more »

television

Roseanne Barr Discusses The Unspeakable

When we got this clip in an email titled "Roseanne Barr Vaginal Rejuvenation," we gagged and choked back a sudden upsurge of bile in our throat. And just retyping that now, for you, we've had to suppress the urge to upchuck once again. But it didn't seem right to keep this 30-second clip all to ourselves. It features portly loudmouth Roseanne on Craig Ferguson's talk show, discussing, you know, what we just said. She even makes what would be a decent joke coming from someone else, but with her saying it, it just seems totally unnecessary and uncalled for. If you do choose to watch the clip below, you'll have to go wash your brain off. Just try not to form a mental picture. More »

1:57 PM on Thu Apr 10 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
2,744 views, 40 comments

Latest by ginger rant: @nellicat: Agreed. Team Roseanne's Vajunior! more »

Why We're Fat Colleges are now trying to lure prospective students by amping up their dining hall menus, adding fancy foods like lobster and something called "pho." "I didn't apply to Bates, because, well, I ate there, the meal was not very good," says Lucas Braun, a 17-year-old senior at Westtown School. Hey, college food is bad for a reason. So you'll spend less time in the dining hall and more time learning shit. Now get back to studying so we don't have to waste time teaching you everything four years from now when you're our intern.

125 comments

marketing

Soon To Be Everywhere: The Backless Bra

That ABC show "American Inventor" has, stunningly, produced a real, breakthrough product: the backless bra. No longer will women be forced to suffer the tyranny of an encircling bra strap! Maidenform is now selling the product, which originated as a finalist entry on the show, for $25. And soon, the company will be launching a big ad campaign for the bra, which includes a promise from the (male) ad executives to model it upon request [Adrants]. Something for kinks of every stripe! After countless generations of embarrassing fumbling by men and chafing upon women's backs, this campaign would have to be terrible for the product not to be a wild success. Below, a clip of the heroic inventor, Elaine Cato, demonstrating her humanitarian idea on the show last year. More »

12:59 PM on Wed Apr 2 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
29,740 views, 137 comments

Latest by Xenobiologista: As a size A cup (my avatar is actually Samantha Carter from Stargate SG-1; I'm a 105-pound Chinese girl), this sounds awesome. I'm sick of bras with enough strappage to go rock climbing with. more »

The Internet Is Full of Moms Gawker alum Doree Shafrir and Jezebel associate editor Jessica Grose started a tumblr made up of nothing but emails from moms. It's inspired reading, and also a fun ("fun") parlour game: match the mom-mail to the famous ("famous") New York media or internet personality! [Postcards From Yo Momma]

27 comments

music

Scarlett Johansson Vs. Tom Waits

Uncut magazine in the UK got an advance listen to the new and unnecessary Scarlett Johansson album of Tom Waits cover songs, "Anywhere I Lay My Head." According to the scattered preview, ScarJo sounds at various times like Marianne Faithfull, Liz Frazer, Marilyn Monroe, and Joy Division [Uncut]. So there's that. They do point out the asinine spectacle of 24-year-old ScarJo crooning "I Don't Want To Grow Up." You're not, yet, so stop singing about it! The question about this album remains: why must it exist? Certainly not because the blonde it-girl actress is poised to improve on the music of Waits, America's coolest living man. Could it be...the promo photos? It must be the promo photos. After the jump, the plump-lipped ScarJo's recently released contemplative pictures for the album—she enjoys sitting and gazing into the distance, you'll see—along with some of Tom Waits, for comparison's sake. More »

9:29 AM on Tue Mar 25 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
12,346 views, 66 comments

Latest by n/a: @lionel-mandrake: Or her actual appeal? She's a blonde that isn't a complete idiot and isn't another bobble-head attached to a stick. She looks like a real woman and she isn't terribly upsetting, so that makes her threatening which therefore makes her more »

Chris Crocker Got 800 Thousand Views For Blinking Twice Ready the rage of the creative underclass: Chris Crocker says about this five-second clip, "The point of this video is to show that all I have to do is blink to get the video views I do." So far it got 806,112 views.

57 comments

why not

Hillary Clinton Endorses One-Legged Ex-Mrs. Beatle

Hillary Clinton first met Heather Mills, the now-former Mrs. Paul McCartney, on September 10, 2001. The day before the world changed! Except some things never change, like how much Hillary Clinton loves Heather Mills, a woman who changed the world by marrying a Beatle, and only having one leg, and posing for dirty pictures in the '80s. Also she fights land mines. Hillary Clinton apparently had four minutes to kill? We've yet to hear a suitable explanation for this video. But it's after the jump! More »

10:02 AM on Tue Mar 18 2008
By Pareene
1,327 views, 18 comments

Latest by BeRightBack: @SeeingI: I think it was a mocking quote from when Ally McBeal acknowledged it in one of its first post-9/11 episodes using exactly those words. more »

No Need To Ever Read Again "100 Best Last Lines From Novels" (PDF) [via Kottke]

17 comments

vogue

Actually Reading 'Vogue'

Vogue's former art director Mehemet Femy Agha once told a contributor that "she's like a piano player in a whorehouse. She may be a very good piano player, but nobody goes there to hear music. Nobody buys Vogue to read good literature; they buy it to see the clothes." A fair point, but I don't really like whores or fashion. So I decided to read Vogue this month to see what the fuss is about. More »

3:11 PM on Tue Mar 11 2008
By rebecca
8,151 views, 50 comments

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