Gawker: why?

TMZ Helps Gangsters Identify Next Target

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 12 May 2008 17:43:19 EDT

Suge Knight, CEO of Death Row Records, intimidating former football player, and certified gangster, somehow got himself knocked out at a club on Saturday night. Odd! Even odder: the guy who did the knocking allowed TMZ to take his picture, although "he didn't want us to use his name." Message to that guy: Run, you fool! Run for your life! Message to Suge Knight: we are on your side in this and all other disputes, and don't let anyone tell you any differently. But seriously, Mr. Punchy: Run. Below, two pictures of Suge Knight laid out unconscious, which should not be construed as disrespectful to him in any way:

[via TMZ]

Penn Jillette Appalls Joe Scarborough With Old Joke

Pareene — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:35:16 EDT

Loud, shouty, occasional magician Penn Jillette was on MSNBC, talking about politics. Why? It's unclear. He had some misogynistic anti-Hillary joke that became a YouTube thing a while back. Now the joke is old and tired (like HILLARY CLINTON, right??) but Penn dutifully repeated, along with his claim that the fact that the joke went over so well with his crazy audience meant Hil was doomed from day one. He doesn't really seem to think that says anything too terrible about the nation, but whatever. Point is: arbiter of civility Joe Scarborough disapproved. And sad Mika Brzezinski said only, "I don't like that." Clip attached.

Stalk Scarlett Johansson Via Music Video

Ryan Tate — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:59:09 EDT

We now have one answer, at least, to the question of why actress Scarlett Johansson recorded an album of Tom Waits cover songs. It's not just the promo pictures! It's also so there can be a music video in which we, her many fans, get to follow Johansson around during one of her trying days, be all impressed as she hangs out with smarty pants writer Salman Rushdie and sympathize as makeup is painstakingly applied to her face and her hair curled. We also stalk Johansson as she jets off on an airplane and then, upon landing, washes her face. She also gets flowers from fans and shuttled around in the back of an SUV. I actually can't stop watching. And the song is growing on me. I have actually come to agree that Johannson's voice "works convincingly in the musical context" of the song. Frightening! Watch the pretty lady sing the scary song, over and over again, after the jump.

Scarlett Johansson Vs. Tom Waits

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 09:29:20 EDT

Uncut magazine in the UK got an advance listen to the new and unnecessary Scarlett Johansson album of Tom Waits cover songs, "Anywhere I Lay My Head." According to the scattered preview, ScarJo sounds at various times like Marianne Faithfull, Liz Frazer, Marilyn Monroe, and Joy Division [Uncut]. So there's that. They do point out the asinine spectacle of 24-year-old ScarJo crooning "I Don't Want To Grow Up." You're not, yet, so stop singing about it! The question about this album remains: why must it exist? Certainly not because the blonde it-girl actress is poised to improve on the music of Waits, America's coolest living man. Could it be...the promo photos? It must be the promo photos. After the jump, the plump-lipped ScarJo's recently released contemplative pictures for the album—she enjoys sitting and gazing into the distance, you'll see—along with some of Tom Waits, for comparison's sake.

[SCARJO PICTURES END HERE]

Why?

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 13:50:40 EST

"Since 9/11, I've secretly measured the socioeconomic well-being of New York City by the advertising content and graphic design of the billboards on the Long Island Expressway between the Midtown Tunnel and the Greenpoint Avenue exit in Queens. I like seeing lots of billboards, and I want them to be filled with terrific ads." [Creativity Online]

Complex Magazine Wastes A Lot Of Money

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 13:57:18 EST

Complex, the Marc Ecko-owned urban shopping magazine, has figured out how to boost traffic to its website among those coveted digital influencers: by spending $1 million on TV ads. Why yes, that does seem like the most cost-effective strategy, assuming you are, as one tipster put it, a "blind leading the blind media organization." Click to watch the first full ad, and marvel at how little of Will Ferrell's time a million bucks gets you these days. [Folio]

How hard could it be? Why has Britney Spears ...

Choire — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 13:55:26 EDT

How hard could it be? Why has Britney Spears not yet learned how to execute the simple procedure of exiting a car without displaying her precious noble ladycactus? Is this some kind of weird feminist game she's playing with us now? [Egotastic]

NBC says talentless hack Jimmy Fallon is ...

abalk — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 11:30:31 EDT

NBC says talentless hack Jimmy Fallon is at the top of the list to replace Conan O'Brien on "Late Night," for some deeply inexplicable reason. [B&C]