In the Land of the Midnight Sun, the last frontier, the land of Sarah Palin, it's hard to distinguish oneself from the crowd of conservative anti-government candidates for government office. But Dan Sullivan has a plan: Take over federal parklands, drill for oil, and maybe get heroically shot.

Bloodshed was averted and a bunch of freedom-loving, gut-hanging-over-the-brass-belt-buckle, self-styled militia men declared victory Monday in a major armed standoff with federal and local officials over one bubba's right to graze his cattle on taxpayer land in Nevada.

Strategists at noted Birther hive WorldNetDaily flew a banner over Cowboys Stadium this weekend asking, "Where's the real birth certificate?" Thankfully, the 90,000+ fans weren't able to see this embarrassing display through the stadium's closed retractable roof, sparing WorldNetDaily even further shame. [via Wonkette]

Watch this YouTube of President Barack Obama delivering his Thanksgiving-themed weekly address and see if you can figure out what—or Who—is missing. tl; dw? Fine, then: It's God! He did not mention God, who made everything you should feel thankful for—if you believe in God.

Over the summer we told you how fading fuckwad Glenn Beck was fleeing the liberal north to go inhabit his own $20,000-a-month rental Alamo in Dallas. Well, he must feel at home in his new hometown, because now he wants to turn an old megachurch in the Dallas suburbs into the headquarters for GBTV.com—his…

Faux hippy Wal-Mart and parking lot realness headquarters Whole Foods is happy to sell you 11 billion varieties of hummus, but don't get the wrong idea, wingnuts: Whole Foods is just as scared of Muslims as you! Really!

Georgia Republican Rep. Bobby Franklin thinks miscarriages are actually secret murders and that paper money is a fraud. And he gets a lot of support for those positions. In fact, according to his home answering machine, everyone who calls him is a supporter!

When news aggregation goes wrong: Fox News republished a USA Today article called "Obama Shares Dreams for His Kids in Book About 13 Americans." Fox News' headline? "Obama Praises Indian Chief Who Killed U.S. General."

Barack Obama's trip to his ancient Muslim homeland of Indonesia is splashing all sorts of tender boyhood memories across the newspapers, like his gay male nanny who later became a transvestite volleyball player. Glenn Beck just came in his pants.

Nefarious tyrant Barack Obama has boldly taken sides in the Great War on Mosques: He will be hosting a White House "iftar" feast tonight for Ramadan, the enemy's holiday. How many 9/11 mosques will he green-light during this meal, hmm?

Political writers across the mid-Atlantic watched LeBron James' incredibly shameless decision last night, searching for a "political angle." Hats off to the Atlantic's Josh Green, who wrote a savvy thing called, "How LeBron's Move Helps the Tea Party." Snappy! (Huh?)

Barack Obama has responded, via an anonymous aide, to charges that by bowing to the Communist emperor of Japan he was actually surrendering and apologizing for World War II, which is technically illegal because he's not a citizen.

CafePress has reversed itself for the second time and discontinued once and for all the sale of "Pray For Obama: Psalm 109:8" merchandise, which is Christian code for "pray for Obama to get killed by God."

Yesterday, we reported that CafePress had halted sales of T-shirts bearing the slogan, "Pray For Obama: Psalm 109:8," which in Bible-talk means pray that "his days be few; let another take his office." After some thought, they're selling them again.

There's a hilarious new meme in the wingnut sectors of the internet: someone's coined a bumper sticker slogan encouraging people to pray for Barack Obama. But here's the funny part: it's really a secret Christian code for "Kill the President!'

There are sketchy reports that Maj. Nidal Hasan tried to contact "people associated with Al Qaeda," and some are calling Ft. Hood "the largest single terror act in America since 9/11" — something both terrorists and wingnuts wish were true.