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Winning

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Your Winning Slur

Shut Up, 'Nilla

Racist ladies and gentlemen, we present to you your new slur for 'white people': "'Nilla." No longer will you be forced to muck by with the outdated "honky" or the bland "whitey." 'Nilla (first suggested by racial innovator Sarcastro) won in a landslide decision over runner-up slur "Altoid," capturing more than 80% of the vote. It's an apt choice. The term's obvious parallels to an already existing racial slur ensure that you will never be safe saying it—in fact, shouting "'Nilla" in a crowded area almost guarantees that you will offend everybody present, one way or another. So it has the best quality of any slur: it should never be said. Seriously, don't say it—or any other slurs—and we'll all get along in peace and harmony. Good job!

4:18 PM on Thu Jun 19 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
13,606 views, 80 comments

Latest by n/a: The term `nilla has been around forever. It is what sexually adventurous and kinky people such as BDSMers, SMers and such, call people who tend to enjoy missionary position sex with the lights out. Another word that has been used for more »

reality tv

A Quick Guide to David Cook and This Season's Other Instant Stars

Well, in the end it goes to Cook in a landslide. I am surprised! I thought the squealing masses of girls and soft dulcet tones of Archie's "Imagine" repeat on Tuesday night would win over middle ground voters who might have found Cook to be too edgy. But no, in a 12 million vote landslide, our combovered pal from Kansas City tearily took the crown and Simon and company rejoiced. I guess 19 and the judges were behind Cook all along. Perhaps the over the top Archie plaudits were just a calculated bait and switch. Or maybe there's nothing so cynical about American Idol after all. Good for Cook. Instant fame! Who else has won grand television prizes this year, on shows like America's Next Top Model and Project Runway? After the jump, take a tour through this year in winning things, starting, of course, with Mr. Cook. More »

11:32 AM on Thu May 22 2008
By Richard
12,383 views, 41 comments

Latest by n/a: @B-Side: Me too! What's in store for millionaire Parvati and half-millionaire Adam? Will Cirie get the recognition she deserves? Will Sheila's book get published? How are the Ozzy/Amanda, Ryan/Jen relationships doing? Tellmetellmetellmetellme! more »

winning

Nobel Laureate Doris Lessing's Advice to Young Writers: "Don't Assume You'll Have It Forever"

Outspoken novelist Doris Lessing, 88, never cared much about winning the 2007 Nobel Prize in Literature: "Oh Christ, I couldn't care less," she said at the time. Now, she adds in a radio interview, winning the prestigious award has totally messed up her life and creative energy: "It has stopped; I don't have any energy anymore. This is why I keep telling anyone younger than me, don't imagine you'll have it forever. Use it while you've got it, because it'll go; it's sliding away like water down a plug hole." [NYT] Oh, shit.

3:01 PM on Mon May 12 2008
By Sheila
949 views, 33 comments

Latest by Mediahohoho: @heartbreakturnip: I agree, Turnip. I've never really gotten the snarking on real writers vibe hereabouts, other than as a function of anonymity. more »

Or Checked This Hot New Thing Called 'Google Image Search' Dear Internet: If you really wanted to see photos of screenwriter Diablo Cody's nipples, you could've just read her old City Pages blog, where all of them came from. Honestly, people. [Defamer] (Clarification: we're bitching about EGOTASTIC, to whom we did not wish to deliver more traffic, not our friends at Defamer. Also the internet as a whole.)

5 comments