• OMG smoking gun: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hugging and holding hands and putting their faces close together and everything! It's nearly almost practically lesbian kissing, and thus proof that they are girlfriends in that way. [Egotastic] (Photo via Egotastic)
• Yesterday it was reported that singer Amy Winehouse "fled her home, claiming ghosts were trying to harm her." Today the ghosts kept her from showing up on time to accept a prestigious songwriting award for her tune "Love Is A Losing Game." Wait, I think I know this ghost — kind of smoky, likes to hang around glass?
• Hooker-loving actor Charlie Sheen is — go figure! — having a very nasty divorce from Denise Richards, and yesterday he and his friends spread word about the $52,000 per month in tax-free child support Richards gets from Sheen, plus a disputed email in which she asked for access to Sheen's sperm. Today Richards fired back with a purported text message from Sheen: "I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore." [P6]
• Tom Cruise had his lawyers threaten a baby boutique owner for supposedly leaking to the press false info that Cruise and wife Katie Holmes spent upwards of $350,000 on baby clothes for Suri in just two years. That money was specifically earmarked for stuck-thetan dry cleaning, and Cruise has the receipts to prove it! [TMZ]
• Can Miley Cyrus ever say no when asked to pose for racy photos? This time it was fellow teen star Nick Jonas who did the asking, and Annie Leibovitz hadn't even put her under hypnosis yet. [Oceanup]
• The woman who voices Lisa Simpson filed for divorce from her husband. E! Online wrote that the divorce came "despite having all the answers on The Simpsons," while TMZ decided to go with "Lisa Has A Cow."

• Instead of viciously beating people with her cellphone, supermodel Naomi Campbell tried bringing tea and coffee to assistants on the TV show Ugly Betty. Ten bucks says the coffee and tea had, in turn, been bought by Campbell's own assistant, and that Campbell hasn't been into a Starbucks since 1998. I hope someone demanded her drink be brought back with nonfat milk at exactly 195 degrees. [News Of The World]
• Miley Cyrus after some kind of Disney concert in Orlando: "I hope you had an awesome time. I saw a sign back there that said: 'Miley, I'm praying for you.' I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." I think she could be more appreciative. [Sun]
• Victoria Beckham and husband David were looking forward to a quiet trip to Napa Valley via Tom Cruise's empty-and-waiting private jet. Turns out Cruise, his wife and four Hollywood pals were waiting on the plane to surprise them. See, for Scientologists, the line between "surprise party" and "awful kidnapping" does not exist. [Showbiz Spy]
• Singer Winona Ryder apparently still allowed to shop. [Popsugar]
• Lindsay Lohan is going on Ugly Betty. [People]
• Amy Winehouse, who is Jewish, is wearing rosary beads to support her jailed husband. Further destroying the Catholic church is just a nice side effect. [Oh No They Didn't]
• I can't muster much outrage, but the British tabs sure can: "POP mogul Simon Cowell has been allowed to park his Rolls-Royce wherever he likes — a privilege usually reserved for the QUEEN." [Sun]
• In the wake of testimony against her alleged stalker, Uma Thurman went brunette. This information would be of use pretty much only to... stalkers. [P6]

• It's been so long since actress Winona Ryder stole anything that she's not up on the latest anti-theft technology. A drug store employee said she tried to steal makeup, via her purse, and was caught by the stupid door alarm thing and made to give it back. Wait, people actually stop for those alarms? I am always just waved through. But then my photo isn't taped up in every retail establishment in Los Angeles. [Daily Mail]
• Comedian Pauly Shore: "White people are screwed. Especially in my industry, they’re screwed." [P6]
• Hillary Clinton endorsed Heather Mills, Beatles Paul McCartney's ex wife, on Mills' website. The video is six years old, and the Brits wonder if perhaps Hillary has not come to hate Mills as much as they have in the meantime. [Daily Mail]
• On South Park, singer Britney Spears' cartoon doppelganger will blast her head off with a shotgun and then be photographed to death. [Showbiz Spy]
• Singer Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib was cheating on her for two months with a waitress/model 15 years his junior. Now the waitress says she had no idea about him and Spears and would never steal anyone's boyfriend. It's not like it would get her interviews and tons of free publicity or anything. [Showbiz Spy]
• Actress Tori Spelling is going to have a baby girl to go with her son and pink-scarfed little dog. [People]
• OMG Madonna didn't wear her wedding ring last week. Her marriage is clearly doomed. [Mail]
• The whole thing with movie stars Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson getting back together is definitely happening. [P6]

Ah yes, the old "casual browsing" at 12 a.m. routine. The old "casual browsing" by a convicted larcenist at a store with easily concealable, flat items, in the dead of night. Nothing to look at folks, nothing to look at — Winona's just dressed as a thief in all black browsing DVD new releases at midnight on a Saturday. With an accomplice. And a getaway motorcycle built for two.

Indeed, it is not surprising that Winona would travel to her heists with a helmet; after all, she was in a car crash in the first scene of Reality Bites, and her reported ex-boyfriend Dodi al Fayed died in the crash with Princess Diana.

But why the two helmets? Increased protection? Unlikely. Clearly a modus operandi: for not only does Winona wear (and carry) a helmet, but she also dated one: Page Hamilton, her most recent ex-boyfriend, is the lead singer of Helmet, the punk band. Winona is currently seeing Henry Alex Rubin, the director of Murderball. Photos confirm that he is both bland and average-looking, thereby proving beyond all doubt that it was in fact Henry Alex carrying the getaway protective gear while Winona pilfered Agent Cody Banks.

Gawker Stalker

There was a failure to communicate the other day when a spywitness who doesn't understand slang told us that Winona Ryder was "canoodling" with Liev Schreiber at Von on Bleecker Street. Because we're bored with the word, we changed it to "making out." But Schreiber is blissfully committed to gorgeous Naomi Watts, and our source meant only that he and Ryder were talking and smiling at each other. There was no inappropriate intimacy.

Finally, a resolution. Comforting to know that Page Six at least makes corrections for the shit that truly matters.

Canoodle-Free [Page Six]
Earlier: Liev, Naomi, and Winona — Oh My!
Truth, Justice, and Page Six

Winona Ryder got possessive the other night at Von's on Bleecker Street when Liev Schreiber went outside for a smoke. Spies say the couple had been making out earlier. So when Schreiber started chatting up two young beauties on the sidewalk, Ryder quickly came out to reclaim her man. The actress was heard complaining about the downside of fame, as if to remind the young beauties they were nobodies.

From our Gawker Stalker inbox, sent late yesterday afternoon:

was shopping the sale at Kim's video on st. marks and spotted liev and naomi doing the same! they spent some time there - at least a 1/2 hour, looking at everything from used cd's to dvd's. naomi seemed really giddy whereas liev spent a lot of time on his cell phone...

Granted, seeing two stars together does not necessarily mean they are an item — but amidst unconfirmed Schreiber/Watts breakup rumors and a possible face-sucking with Winona Ryder, we're totally confused. Is Page Six right? Or our reader? Impossible to say — weighing the two items is like comparing cracktards and smacktards.

· "Elizabeth Spiers in front of Pronto Pizza on 42nd and 6th, wearing green boots and some sort of scarf arrangment, talking on her cell phone, no doubt getting the latest Anna spotings from one of her moles inside the Conde Nast building down the block." [Ed. note—wasn't me. How can anyone wear green boots and expect to be taken seriously?]
· "maybe this is old news, but there was a shitload of stars at the white stripes/loretta lynn show at hammerstein ballroom the other night: the
ubiquitous starfucker winona ryder, with a gaggle of hideously attired, shrew-like women in her orbit, as well as a hotpants-clad nicole kidman (with q-tip perhaps?), rubbing up against a column... plus jim jarmusch, a perenially smug debbie harry, and others, all sitting in the VIP balconies staring with bored, haughty disdain down at the cramped minions on the floor, most of whom were young, stoned and idiotic, and who paid $35 a ticket while all the VIPs probably paid zilch and STILL looked bored as hell. PS most of the inbred kids in the audience didn't know who loretta lynn was..."
· "Saw Chris Noth walking along West 54th Street past Studio 54, looking harrassed but handsome! Fine set of broad shoulders..."
· "down at pianos last night, i spotted Gabe from the band Midtown (You might remember him from his little fling or whatever it was with Rachel from Real World NYC and also his band's doing the theme song from the battle of the sexes) He was with a very tall model blonde, and a person in our group identified her as Leah Cary, exgirlfriend of both James Iha and Mike the old bassist from Weezer. Guess she likes the rockstars."

· Another Strokes sighting: "Albert Hammond Jr. walking into 2A, gabbing on a cell phone. Must have been looking for someone, walked in, flashing the Afro, walked out."
· "9ish last night (4/24) at Lucky Strike, Zac Posen with a young male friend, wearing an electric blue scarf funny jacket and ill fitting jeans, scoped front section (where I was eating dinner in the window with a friend) and sat down in the back."
· "Sophia Coppola at the Primal Scream concert last night at Irving Plaza. She was wearing a large white puffy jacket and a black Marc Jacobs shoulder bag (naturally!). She is unbelievably skinny but quite pretty."
· "I saw a guy who looks like Bob Newhart in Grand Central this a.m. around 9. Kind of old, Not carrying anything. Wearing unflattering, drab earth tones, like he bought his outfit from LL Bean 10 years ago. And yesterday I was at Rainbow Falafel (the best!) on 17th and Union Sq West and was behind a guy who looked like Ben Stiller. Could be a body double or stunt man. More like Stiller's Zoolander look though. The guy who looked like Newhart looked much more like Newhart than the guy who looked like Stiller looked like Stiller."
· "Last night at the Primal Scream show at Irving Plaza (E16th and Irving) I spotted Winona Ryder, Harmony Korine and Sophia Coppola backstage chatting. Then Winona and Harmony were at the after-party in the basement of east village bar Lit (2nd Ave btw 5th and 6th)."
· During my Sunday Zabar's ritual a few weeks ago, I was unlocking my 15-pound Mother of All Chains from my mountain bike when, lo and behold, there was former Mayor Rudolph Guiliani and presumably his new wife walking to their car. The bodyguard saw my chain and evaluated me as a potential threat to the livlihood of the formar city mayor (considering that Giuliani
purchased his legacy by squandering the city's economic boom treasure chest with 6-9% annual increase in spending during the last four years of his
administraiton — rather than planning ahead for the city's future — this is not an unfair evaluation). The bodyguard stood directly in front of me, so close that I could smell the 50-50 polyester blend of his khaki sports jacket. I got on my bike and rode off past a group of gawking Zabar's employees with my quarter pound of jamon serrano, half pound of colombian/kenyan blend, and my chain in tow."
· "Bald and stocky Matt Pinfield at Luna Lounge last night surrounded by lovely young women. With a several martinis in my system, I had the courage to be an asshole, interrupt his evening, and ask what band he was there for. He graciously answered. Of course, I have no memory of what he said."
· "Not sure if anyone cares about a sighting of Matt Dillon but I thought it was a pretty funny story. I happened to be at Solar Salon, a really nice and expensive tanning salon on Lexington between 85th and 86th on Monday, April 21st at 3:30 pm, when I noticed this very trashy and annoying woman sitting on a man's lap. When I looked over and rolled my eyes, I had to do a double take because I thought the guy looked like Matt Dillon and then I realized it was him. When the space next to me on the couch opened up, they sat down next to me. The funniest part was the new May issue of Vogue with Cameron Diaz was lying on the coffee table in front of him. The woman motioned to it and he said he saw it. He was talking really low so I couldn't hear anything else. But after they went in to tan another girl sat down next to me and we talked about them. We agreed that the girl, while very tall and skinny, was really nasty. And it seemed like they just met on the street outside. They definitely didn't know each other that long. That's all."
· "Jake and Maggie Gyllenhal, Saturday morning, April 19, eating brunch outside at Pastis with their parents."
· "Christy Turlington was at Space Hair Salon (6th Ave./Spring St.) yesterday afternoon. My hairdresser threatened to turn straight for her. Yeah, right, whatever. I suppose she is very glamorous but if the entire staff hadn't been clustered around her in a knot, I don't think I would have realized she was anybody in particular."