For those few years while Grunge was king, its people lived a modern day utopia of laying on the couch watching old sitcoms, sneering at anyone who got all-excited about themselves, dressing as though we had been laying in a bed of moss for a month and creating an art form that existed entirely in air quotes. It was a magical time and through it all, one impish band-hooking-up-with actress reined as the era's muse.

The years that followed have not been kind to the grunge ethos as earnestness and ambition have replaced sarcasm and slack. But through all the twists of fortune, the lost peoples of grunge could still look to one tiny flame burning on the distant horizon. As long as Winona Ryder continued to rob department stores, make demented rants on stage and hook up with even more musicians, somewhere, the Grunge Era lived on.

But now all that is over. With the news that Ryder will make a Hallmark Hall of Fame Movie the dream has finally ended. Granted it is a movie about the life of Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson, which although it is a very very earnest topic, at least it will have serious drinking in it, so one could say it has a toenail in grunge. But still..

Given the milestone, it seemed a good moment to take a look at the icon's of grunge and see who has stayed true to the dream during the long disapora.

ICON: Kurt Cobain
GRUNGE ACCOMPLISHMENT: The era's troubador
WHERE HE IS NOW: Deceased
BETRAYAL OF GRUNGE ETHOS QUOTIENT: Almost entirely pure, however a posthumous cartoon appearance in Guitar Hero game raised eyebrows.

ICON: Layne Staley
GRUNGE ACCOMPLISHMENT: Lead singer, Alice in Chains; sung the definitional Grunge lyric "He who tries, Will be wasted"
WHERE HE IS NOW: Died of an overdose in 2002
BETRAYAL OF GRUNGE ETHOS QUOTIENT: Low. It's hard to beat a drug overdose for grunge purity.

ICON: Douglas Coupland
GRUNGE ACCOMPLISHMENT: Wrote the not particularly Grungey book which gave the name to Generation X
WHERE HE IS NOW: Living in Toronto where he has just written Generation A which according to his website champions, the act of reading and storytelling as one of the few defenses we still have against the constant bombardment of the senses in a digital world"
BETRAYAL OF GRUNGE ETHOS QUOTIENT: Enormous.

ICON: Doc Martens
GRUNGE ACCOMPLISHMENT: The era's official footwear.
WHERE HE IS NOW: Forced to abandon production for a time in their native UK and give up their vegan non-leather line, Doc struggles along as a novelty/nostalgia act.
BETRAYAL OF GRUNGE ETHOS QUOTIENT: Low.

ICON: Courtney Love
GRUNGE ACCOMPLISHMENT: The era's Yoko Ono
WHERE SHE IS NOW: Has relocated her long run disaster show to New York.
BETRAYAL OF GRUNGE ETHOS QUOTIENT: Her sell-out is total, complete and unquestionable, while on another level she remains somehow the brand's truest proponent.

ICON: Perry Farrell
GRUNGE ACCOMPLISHMENT: Lead singer of Jane's Addiction, creator of Lollapalooza.
WHERE HE IS NOW: An earnest global warming campaigner, occaisional Jane's reunion attendee and flogger of various palooza spin off's/
BETRAYAL OF GRUNGE ETHOS QUOTIENT:When he created Kidzapalooza, he took a step beyond possible grunge redemption.

The show will be written by Mark Rizzo (of Men in Trees fame) with help from Jenny Bicks (of Sex and the City with the cooperation of Lakeshore entertainment, which owns the rights to the movie. Says Lakeshore honcho Gary Lucchesi: "We had the title, and talked about doing a film remake at times, but doing it for TV seemed like a fresh and original idea," Oh yeah, that idea is about as original as a Winona Ryder shoplifting joke.

All the characters from the original will be back, but no word on how it's going to work as a serialized comedy. Can you really keep faking suicides for seasons? Rizzo hasn't discussed any updates, like changing the name to Madisons. Guess we're just going to have to wait and see. And, what does this mean for Heathers: The Musical. We'd much rather see that.

• Britney Spears is taking her bondage-themed tour to Europe soon and is rumored to be planning afterparties in clubs featuring "naked acrobats, topless burlesque babes and dancing dwarves." [Sun]
  
  
• Lady Gaga doesn't care about the Jonas Brothers' dumb fake chastity vows, she wants to round those boys up, get them all in a room, and have a foursome with them! [Daily News]
  
  
• Human trainwreck Lindsay Lohan is trying desperately to land a gig as a "creative consultant" at a European fashion line, which has caused an uproar among the line's current employees, some of whom are threatening to quit if they hire her. [Page Six]
  
  
• Susan Boyle passed out in her bedroom after crying all day and yelling at Britain's Got Talent producers before she was admitted to a mental hospital. She was also heard screaming for her cat Pebbles as she was being admitted. This story gets sadder every day. [Sun]
  
  
• Winona Ryder said in an interview that she and Christian Slater have signed on to do a sequel of the Hollywood cult classic "Heathers." [Perez]
  
  
• Paris Hilton was kept away from the stars of The Hills on the red carpet of the MTV Movie Awards out of fear that there'd be some sort of catfight break out over Paris recently trashing the show. [3AM]
  
  
• Shia LaBeouf is set to star in the latest film adaptation of a John Grisham legal thriller. [Daily News]
  
  
• Did you see Cameron Diaz at the MTV Movie Awards? Everyone wants to know what the heck happened to her face! [WWTDD]
  
  
• Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, following the lead of Brangelina, are set to adopt a Vietnamese child very soon. [Sun]
  
  
• Stephen Dorff has apparently had enough of banging silicone-enhanced Hollywood bimbos and is settling down with his publicist. [Page Six]

Something about the actress (who is now 37) seems eternally youthful, but interestingly, she didn't have a very happy childhood. Ryder tells Miller she was bullied quite often:

"I'd just seen Bugsy Malone and we were really poor," she says. "We only shopped at the Salvation Army, and I would get these three-piece, 1970s little boy suits. I had really short hair, and the third day of seventh grade, these kids basically jumped me in the hall because they thought I was a gay boy, and they roughed me up… I think when that happened, I kind of went into a movie in my head because I couldn't deal with what was happening."

Is it the ability to escape with her mind that makes her such a versatile actress? Even after she was in Beetlejuice, she suffered from being terrorized, in high school: "Kids would say, 'You're a witch, you're creepy, you're crazy.' I was in the number-one movie in the country and I was still being bullied in school."

Even though this piece doesn't touch on her shoplifting, you do get a little bit of insight into Winona's psyche — when talking about basing her Pippa Lee character on someone she used to know, she says: "In this day and age with antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs and diagnoses, there's so much to blame your problems on. Everybody has a disorder of some sort." She also admits she had an "extra-large breakdown" when she was 20. "I had just done Dracula and Edward Scissorhands. I had just had my first real break-up, the first heartbreak. And I think it was really ironic because, like, everybody else just thought I had everything in the world, you know, I had no reason to be depressed, everything was sort of at its peak, but inside I was completely lost."

Yet, Winona has found inspiration in some of her fellow actors:

I worked with Meryl Streep on The House of the Spirits. I always thought actors had to be really depressed or moody or anguished to be great, but she was completely fine and had her family and came to work and did an amazing job and she wasn't that way. I remember that being a really big deal to me. And I was like, 'Wow, I can actually be happy and be good at the same time!' Because you go through that thing, especially as a young actor, when you think you have to make yourself miserable to play misery.

But in some ways, though she played a popular girl in Heathers, Winona has always been a sort of an outsider-type, the original, whom all the other manic pixie dream girls try to copy, but whose quirkiness can also be dark. That's why it makes perfect sense when she says:

I thought it was cooler to be interesting than to be pretty. I must have got that from my parents, who felt strongly about being an individual and being your own person and that looks aren't everything. I always knew that I wasn't, you know, beautiful. I never wanted to be beautiful, I never wanted to be a cheerleader.

Winona Ryder Is Back [Elle Uk]

• Gwyneth Paltrow tried to post a blind item on her Goop.com, not realizing that when people know you're half of the blind item, it's pretty easy to figure out the other half. People are reasonably sure Paltrow's ex-roommate Winona Ryder is the "frenemy who... was pretty hell-bent on taking me down." [P6]
• Jesus Luz, Madonna's Brazilian model and double rebound partner, reunited with the singer at a New York restaurant and shared a car after. He also landed a slot in Dolce & Gabbana's fall-winter men's wear campaign. Yes, we're stuck with him.
  
• When Kevin Spacey finds himself in the secret back room of a shoe store, he watches Kill Bill with his buddies. Uh, perhaps that is one element of what goes on. Sure. [P6]
• A 26-year-old woman in camouflage fatigues was arrested for peeping into Britney Spears' windows. The best part is she was initially asked to leave, but balked. Who do you security people think you are? [Us]
• The woman who was supposedly sleeping with Bruce Springsteen denied that she's been sleeping with Bruce Springsteen. But the pair do work out together, supposedly. Raising eyebrows! Because it's not like seeing Bruce Springsteen work out at your gym with anyone would raise eyebrows. It takes a harlot. [P6]
  
• Rihanna may have texted Chris Brown about his purported new girlfriend. He wrote back, "it's none of your business." Which is true. More of a case for social services. [Scoop]

Then he asks himself, and the audience, and Wynonna, and God: "Why did I say Winona Ryder??" I don't know, Sam. I just don't know. Maybe you were thinking "that Wynonna has stolen my heart," and then you thought of thievery as a concept, and then you thought of Winona Ryder. Or maybe you were just up too late last night watching Mermaids on Oh!, the Oxygen Oprah network for ladies.

The morning after the event, around 6:00 AM, Winona checked out of the hotel. No one from Marie Claire was around to collect the stuff, so she left everything in her hotel room.

Our sources confirm the bracelet and ring did indeed turn up missing — the dress and other stuff weren't taken. We're told Winona never said she had taken the jewels to the front desk, and whoever planted the story may be covering up for someone who had access to the room after she left.

We'll have to side with Ryder on this one. After all, why leave the jewels at the front desk or return them directly to Marie Claire when a low-paid cleaning lady could intuit that information simply by seeing them splayed out on the bed with hotel stationary nearby, upon which is scrawled, "Hola. Do something about this! Love, Noni"? Sure, this might seem like just the latest example of erratic behavior from the actress, but go easy on her: she gave birth at six.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Winona Jewel Heist Mystery [TMZ]

Haven't we all taken a little too much Xanax on the plane before? Or taken the Xanax and forgot that you took it and then had a glass of complimentary wine on an international flight, and then the flight attendant had to rouse you once everybody left the plane? Winona was said to have collapsed twice—Xannie does affect balance, and seriously, everybody who takes too much of it is such a stumblebum.

Not just like us: our overdoses don't usually call for the "priority landing" of a plane. The Sun also reported she had her stomach pumped (how would they know?) but that's a definite treatment for a Xanax overdose, so there you go. The fact that an experienced pill-popper like Ryder wouldn't know the basic rules of benzo-taking is perhaps the most troubling component of this story.

Ryder rep Nancy Buxbaum later explained that the actress was admitted only as a "precautionary measure," assuring the AP that there was no emergency and that Ryder was discharged in short order. The airline wasn't much more help, issuing only a statement that its crew radioed ahead to land as soon as possible to get the sick Oscar-nominee to a doctor:

"Our cabin crew looked after the female passenger as much as they could onboard and our passenger services staff also accompanied her to the local hospital," the statement said. "We wish her well."

As do we. The shmucks at the AP, meanwhile, tastefully point out Ryder's history with prescription drugs, but we're not ones to presume anything; rather, we leave that to our readers. Speaking of whom, Hollywood PrivacyWatch bonus points to any tipsters with information leading to the arrest and capture of Ryder's airborne crisis — preferably with pictures. We know it's midnight in London, but step forward at your earliest convenience.

• Winona Ryder Briefly Hospitalized [People]

• WINONA RYDER HOSPITALIZED [AP]

A closer look at all eight posters (plus the mysterious inclusion of Tyler Perry and Winona Ryder!) awaits after the jump:

Clockwise from top left, we have Eric Bana as the film's villain, Nero, Zoe Saldana as Uhura, Chris Pine as James T. Kirk, and Heroes' Zachary Quinto as Spock. While these posters are a little more convincing, we can't help but be disappointed that Paramount neglected to make one-sheets for the film's most unlikely cast members: Winona Ryder as Spock's mom and Madea's Family Reunion star Tyler Perry as the head of Starfleet Academy. We've gone ahead and taken the liberty ourselves:

Paramount, we'll accept our payment in the form of transporter credits. Good day, and QA TLHO'.

• VegasCon 08: New Star Trek Movie Posters With Four New Cast Images [Trekmovie.com via Hollywood Elsewhere]

• OMG smoking gun: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hugging and holding hands and putting their faces close together and everything! It's nearly almost practically lesbian kissing, and thus proof that they are girlfriends in that way. [Egotastic] (Photo via Egotastic)
• Yesterday it was reported that singer Amy Winehouse "fled her home, claiming ghosts were trying to harm her." Today the ghosts kept her from showing up on time to accept a prestigious songwriting award for her tune "Love Is A Losing Game." Wait, I think I know this ghost — kind of smoky, likes to hang around glass?
• Hooker-loving actor Charlie Sheen is — go figure! — having a very nasty divorce from Denise Richards, and yesterday he and his friends spread word about the $52,000 per month in tax-free child support Richards gets from Sheen, plus a disputed email in which she asked for access to Sheen's sperm. Today Richards fired back with a purported text message from Sheen: "I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore." [P6]
• Tom Cruise had his lawyers threaten a baby boutique owner for supposedly leaking to the press false info that Cruise and wife Katie Holmes spent upwards of $350,000 on baby clothes for Suri in just two years. That money was specifically earmarked for stuck-thetan dry cleaning, and Cruise has the receipts to prove it! [TMZ]
• Can Miley Cyrus ever say no when asked to pose for racy photos? This time it was fellow teen star Nick Jonas who did the asking, and Annie Leibovitz hadn't even put her under hypnosis yet. [Oceanup]
• The woman who voices Lisa Simpson filed for divorce from her husband. E! Online wrote that the divorce came "despite having all the answers on The Simpsons," while TMZ decided to go with "Lisa Has A Cow."

1. They already have a sex tape.And it's a cartoon! The two already played on-screen love interests in the Richard Linklater druggie film A Scanner Darkly, and though we barely had a clue which drugs Winona's character was on and when, we do recall a midnight seduction scene in which Keanu sleeps over. Sure, he has some kind of nightmare involving dead blondes in the bed, but all that matters is the fact that these two have no need to film their own inevitably released sex tape.
2. They can both fuck up as much as possible. Let's face it, each of them has made a lot of dumb moves in their lives and their careers. From the shoplifting scandal to Street Kings, they both know what it's like to be judged by others, so they probably won't pass untoward and unreasonable judgements on each other.
3. We really need a reason to go see their movie.As much as we adore Daniel Day-Lewis and his wife Rebecca Miller, her last directorial attempt came in the form of The Ballad Of Jack And Rose, a movie we wanted to love desperately but found ourselves sleeping through. She's currently directing Keanu and Winona in an adaptation of her novel The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee, starring Robin Wright Penn, essentially her acting equivalent in both talent and watchability.

• NEW COUPLE ALERT: KEANU REEVES & WINONA RYDER [Star]

• Instead of viciously beating people with her cellphone, supermodel Naomi Campbell tried bringing tea and coffee to assistants on the TV show Ugly Betty. Ten bucks says the coffee and tea had, in turn, been bought by Campbell's own assistant, and that Campbell hasn't been into a Starbucks since 1998. I hope someone demanded her drink be brought back with nonfat milk at exactly 195 degrees. [News Of The World]
• Miley Cyrus after some kind of Disney concert in Orlando: "I hope you had an awesome time. I saw a sign back there that said: 'Miley, I'm praying for you.' I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." I think she could be more appreciative. [Sun]
• Victoria Beckham and husband David were looking forward to a quiet trip to Napa Valley via Tom Cruise's empty-and-waiting private jet. Turns out Cruise, his wife and four Hollywood pals were waiting on the plane to surprise them. See, for Scientologists, the line between "surprise party" and "awful kidnapping" does not exist. [Showbiz Spy]
• Singer Winona Ryder apparently still allowed to shop. [Popsugar]
• Lindsay Lohan is going on Ugly Betty. [People]
• Amy Winehouse, who is Jewish, is wearing rosary beads to support her jailed husband. Further destroying the Catholic church is just a nice side effect. [Oh No They Didn't]
• I can't muster much outrage, but the British tabs sure can: "POP mogul Simon Cowell has been allowed to park his Rolls-Royce wherever he likes — a privilege usually reserved for the QUEEN." [Sun]
• In the wake of testimony against her alleged stalker, Uma Thurman went brunette. This information would be of use pretty much only to... stalkers. [P6]

boomp3.com


Popular actress Winona Ryder once again was given the third degree as she shopped at a Manhattan store. While shopping, Ryder was accompanied by the store's two rather beefy security guards. Ryder paused for a moment, stared at the guards, then looked at the girl behind the register and said, "Is this really necessary? I mean, it's been nearly seven years since I stole something. I'm from Hollywood and I get tons of free stuff all the time. So, I have no need to steal anything unless we're in a scene together. I'm guilty of that crime. Netflix me being guilty in such films as Heathers and Edward Scissorhands."

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

According to the publication, when she left the store, she set off an alarm that drew the attention of a security guard.

A store employee is quoted as saying: "Winona had a bag of stuff, but she set off the theft alarm when she left the store.

"When a security guard stopped her, he found make-up she had not paid for."

And when she was asked about the make-up, Winona answered: "I don't know how that happened."

The store employee added: "We took unpaid items back and she left the store."

Yes, once the true shoplifting addict has experienced the mainlined rush of having made it through the exit hoisting a belly pregnant with loofas, waterproof mascaras, and Toblerone bars, no other high ever comes as close. We'd caution that in this case, however, it's much too premature to blame the incident on Ryder's sticky-fingered recidivism. After hours of scrutinizing various lipstick shades, keeping the Plumberry Wines straight from the Mata Hari Reds becomes an exercise in futility—who can really remember which one ended up on the discard pile? Until it comes out that Ryder was stopped by a security guard dragging a five-foot-tall, fully-stocked Maybelline standee out store doors, causing the red-faced actress to ponder out loud, "Oops—where did this come from?" we'll refrain from assuming the worst.

• 'Sticky fingers' Winona Ryder in new shoplifting scandal, claims magazine [Daily Mail]

• It's been so long since actress Winona Ryder stole anything that she's not up on the latest anti-theft technology. A drug store employee said she tried to steal makeup, via her purse, and was caught by the stupid door alarm thing and made to give it back. Wait, people actually stop for those alarms? I am always just waved through. But then my photo isn't taped up in every retail establishment in Los Angeles. [Daily Mail]
• Comedian Pauly Shore: "White people are screwed. Especially in my industry, they’re screwed." [P6]
• Hillary Clinton endorsed Heather Mills, Beatles Paul McCartney's ex wife, on Mills' website. The video is six years old, and the Brits wonder if perhaps Hillary has not come to hate Mills as much as they have in the meantime. [Daily Mail]
• On South Park, singer Britney Spears' cartoon doppelganger will blast her head off with a shotgun and then be photographed to death. [Showbiz Spy]
• Singer Britney Spears' ex Adnan Ghalib was cheating on her for two months with a waitress/model 15 years his junior. Now the waitress says she had no idea about him and Spears and would never steal anyone's boyfriend. It's not like it would get her interviews and tons of free publicity or anything. [Showbiz Spy]
• Actress Tori Spelling is going to have a baby girl to go with her son and pink-scarfed little dog. [People]
• OMG Madonna didn't wear her wedding ring last week. Her marriage is clearly doomed. [Mail]
• The whole thing with movie stars Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson getting back together is definitely happening. [P6]

As Getty is reporting (though we're not sure just how credible their skills are, considering they spelled Sennett's band "Rilo Kelley") that Winona "reveled" her engagement at the Valentino fashion show in Paris over the weekend. And Courtney Love is quoted as slurring, "You're no one in music until you have feuded with me or until you sleep with Winona." Question for ya, Court? Have you slept with the pixie-haired dish? Probably not, but we are guessing you've frequently feuded with yourself in the mirror after one or one hundred decadent nights. In any case, we're raising our champagne flute along with Court and toasting to the happy couple. We'll be first in line to pick out some Marc Jacobs dresses from their wedding registry.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• ROCK OF LOVE [Getty Images Blog via Stereogum]