This drug, Flibanserin, was supposed to be an antidepressant. It sucked at that but it's great at making women horny, and now clinical trials have proved it! But oh, no, stop, stop having your fun, everyone stop everything:

Some doctors are sceptical about the need for pills to boost female sex drive.
For some, reduced sexual interest or response may be "normal", says Professor Irwin Nazareth or University College London.
Others say relying on a pill could stop couples talking through underlying issues.

That is only the whole point. God.
[Pic of couple that could theoretically benefit from this drug via]

Meet Lionel McIntyre (pictured), an "Associate Professor in the Practice of Community Development and the Founding Director of the Urban Technical Assistance Project at Columbia University." According to the Columbia Spectator and the NY Post, he went out to a bar on 125th St. last Friday night with Margaret Davis, a white female colleague, and practiced community development by technically assisting her with a sucker punch in the face:

The professor, who is black, had been engaged in a fiery discussion about "white privilege" with Davis, who is white, and another male regular, who is also white...McIntyre, who is known as "Mac" at the bar, shoved Davis, and when the other patron and a bar employee tried to break it up, the prof slugged Davis in the face, witnesses said.

Dude Lionel McIntyre we hope you were really drunk, for your own sake. Judging by all the sources cited, this is an accurate report of what happened. Professor McIntyre is a veteran of the civil rights movement but appears to have descended into either a serious drinking problem or total bitchassness.

The Ivy League Punch-Edginess hypothesis has failed.

Disregarding the warnings of everyone from male fashion designers to male bloggers, a certain portion of American women every day force themselves into "Spanx," only to be faced with embarrassing situations like needing to pee, or wanting to get naked, and then having no choice but to duck into some nearby restroom like Clark Kent for the purpose not of donning a superhero outfit and rescuing helpless civilians from criminal forces, but for the purpose of unburdening themselves of the tight-fitting "Spanx" unobserved by anyone who might consider such a display to be awkward or, indeed, unattractive.

Furthermore, thanks to the vagaries of our capitalist system, various competitors who have observed the popularity of "Spanx" undergarments are now creating their own variation of the "Spanx" formula, namely, spandex tubes into which women are expected to climb, in order to appear very tightly constrained throughout the midsection, in what could be termed an outright deception, not to mention an unhealthy constriction of one's bodily vital fluids' ability to flow freely betwixt and between whichever organs our subconscious brain deems necessary and appropriate, based on its millenia of evolution.

We do not need "Spanx" in snakeskin prints. We do not need "Spanx" in new hues and tints. We do not need "Spanx" for wedding nor ball. We do not need "Spanx" at all.

Just reading this press release once is equivalent to obtaining a master's degree in Communications from a mid-tier public university.

"The Tyra Show"

International Exclusive: Woman with TWO Vaginas!

Click Here for Video: http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/2009/01/woman_two_vaginas_lauren.php

Air Date: 11.6.09

(New York, NY) — It's a "Tyra Show" international exclusive, meet the woman who was born with two vaginas in an episode scheduled to air on Friday, November 6th.

Lauren Williams, who is now 29 years old, was born with two vaginas.

Lauren Williams: "I've got two uteruses. Just one to each (fallopian tube), then they go down to two cervixes, and then it did go down to the two vaginas."

Williams, who was diagnosed with two vaginas when she was 25-years-old, also believes she has 2 periods.

Lauren Williams: "I think so because my periods generally last about 21 days...When I was a teenager I had really heavy periods...I would have to change pads every hour."

Tyra also questions Williams on her ability to have children and was amazed by her answer.

Lauren Williams: "The doctor in England said pregnancy wise, it should be okay...if I do get pregnant it should push the other uterus over to one side and keep it out of the way. Me and my partner would need to plan on using condoms just in case I got pregnant in the other one."

Tyra Banks: "You're the only pregnant woman that can get pregnant while pregnant."

Tune in to find out what sex is like for Lauren and what 2 vaginas looks like!

MUST INCLUDE TUNE IN
"The Tyra Show" airs weekdays on The CW at 4:00 PM.

So yea, breast cancer is a big thing, among ladies and all, and people are always talking about "Examine your breasts, ladies," but nobody is actually showing that breast exam, right? That is where WJLA "News" comes in! They're going to show a couple ladies just stone cold examining their bare breasts, for education of the public. Tune in to WJLA during sweeps week to learn about this important issue, of breasts. No reason for mature people to get all titillated! They're doing it for you, the breasted public, reports the Washington Post:

"The public benefits of this will outweigh any criticism," [says WJLA's general manager]. "I suppose some people will call up and say, 'I won't watch your station.' But they'll be outnumbered by those who say, 'You helped my sister. You helped my mother. You helped someone I love.' "

"You helped me leer."
[Pic via]

On housework, wives spend an average of 42 hours per week, and husbands spend 23. But husbands spend 34 hours on "paid work," and wives spend 20. Plus, "paying bills" counts as housework, so who even knows what's what? Let's get to the sexxxy part!

Couples reported having sex 82.7 times a year on average, or 1.6 times a week, about the same as in other studies.

All that housework just to get laid once a week! Has anyone tried having sex instead of doing housework? Perhaps it is time we moved towards that model, for equality, and love?

Oh and also scientists proved that Viagra works. So.
[Pic via]

The most fascinating thing about Ali Wise's craziness is its very pedestrian nature—pedestrian on crystal meth, maybe, but still. She didn't snap and murder her ex's lover in a jealous rage; that's been done. Instead, she hacked into their voicemails, deleting messages as she went. It's a nightmare, because who would believe you when you told them you didn't return their call or make that appointment because your messages were surreptitiously deleted by a jealous, tech-savvy fashion publicist? The crime's unlikely nature is what makes it deadly (socially).

Anyhow, cops say that Ali didn't just go all Hackers on one lady interested in her ex, Downtown Records boss Josh Deutsch; she was all up in everybody's voicemail. The NYP reports:

As if to prove the axiom that publicists are forever on the phone, the 337 "hacked" calls Wise allegedly made into Freudenberger's cell and landline voice-mail systems were just the beginning.

She made at least 137 additional calls into the voice mails of Victim No. 2, at least 119 calls into the voice mails of Victim No. 3, and at least 102 calls into the voice mails of Victim No. 4, the criminal complaint says.

She's facing charges of trespassing, tampering, eavesdropping, and stalking. Girl, you know he's not worth it!
[Pic: Getty]

ITEM ONE: Bucky Turco, the Hipster Grifter's official prison pen pal, is now also pen pals with Jerzy Mitchell, who is Kari Ferrell's cell mate. He posted a letter from her today. Go read it or you will be slightly less prepared when the Hipster Grifter Jeopardy category shows up.

ITEM TWO: Burning Angel's Joanna Angel says that she would be very enthusiastic about engaging in conjugal relations with Kari, on video. So. Just something to consider.

America's current reigning Junior Miss touts the pageant-cum-scholarship program. "It's awesome," Michelle Rodgers tells awestruck fans.

Cum scholarship? No wonder our tweens are in trouble! Hahaha.
You can't beat the media.

[The full story in the Washington Post is actually very good. Pic: Flickr]

• 
  
• Dave Went Out With Another Intern, In the 90s, and TMZ Got Pictures Of Her: Yes! In the "early 1990s," Dave had a (sexxxy?) "relationship" with his then-intern, Holly Hester, who seems to have nothing but warm feelings towards him, still. TMZ got these decidedly non-scandalous photos of the female half of this long-ago routine interoffice romance. There she is: Holly Hester.
• Dave Was the First Man Ever to Dislike His Ex-Girlfriend's New Boyfriend, According to Anonymous Sources: The Post's daily Dave scoop: Some people who probably work in the office say Dave didn't like Joe Halderman, the new boyfriend of Dave's ex, Stephanie Birkitt. By contrast, most men greatly enjoy hanging out with their ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend and building close relationships. Although this guy did try to extort Dave for millions, so maybe there are two sides to the story. The Post sums this all up as "Hate show." It's like "Late Show," but with hate.
• Tonight's Show May Be Awkward: Last week Dave came out on air with all this scandal stuff. Now it's the week following that. Is there a potential for tonight's show to be kinda awkward? Yes, say the show's staffers. It could very well be awkward. Now you know.
• Women Are More Mad About This Stuff Than Men, Maybe, Or Not: Some people feel that Dave will have to make a strong effort to win back female fans, because females tend to view his behavior more negatively than men. Some women, though, are not so concerned about it. And some people (us) suspect that the angry women Dave will have to contend with will mostly be Sarah Palin supporters with long memories and a lust for schadenfreude.

Yea, so basically the WSJ has a very disheartening report saying guys are out buying beds and shit that cost tens of thousands of dollars so that they can have shit like wine coolers and TVs and safes built into the bed, cause who doesn't need that, right?

He delighted in showing her that the TV could be lowered into the footboard via remote, and he let her pick out the color and pattern of the mattress fabric. His wife declined to comment.

The silent treatment already. Oh dude you are going to be buying so much fancy shampoo forever to make up for that one. Real smooth, in your Batman bed. Awesome, yea right. Fancy beds, Jesus Christ.

Its highest officials quite possibly will! See, yesterday's report about the results of Semenya's gender test were a leak; the actual results of the test won't be formally revealed by the International Association of Athletics Federations until November.

South Africa's president says the media's invaded her privacy (true maybe, but that's what the media does). The South African athletics chief is trying to say that the early reports are untrustworthy. And the country's Sports and Recreation Ministers says this is all a moot point, because "I don't think she's a woman. She's just a child. I think she's just a child who's enjoying growing up."

Also Winnie Mandela is not too happy about that You magazine cover photo.

I have learned much about this intersex thing from our astoundingly overqualified commenters. And am become more sensitive by the day! Did you know there is a sad part to it? There is. For example: an Indian runner named Santhi Soundarajan also "failed" (weird way to put it, no?) a gender test in a similar fashion in 2006. She was stripped of her medals and, she says, humiliated forever:

"I am treated as a social outcast, even in my own local place," she said...

"It is really, really humiliating. I am unable to move in the society, to go out anywhere. People don't look upon me as an Asian Games medallist, but only speak about when I failed a gender test."

Can we please have an intersex running category in the Olympics! For Chrissake!

Caster's next race is tomorrow.

Breaking, whoa, I did not even know this stuff happened for real, but yes it does!

Tests conducted during the world athletics championships in Berlin last month, where Semenya's gender became the subject of heated debate following her victory in the 800m, revealed evidence she is a hermaphrodite, someone with both male and female sexual characteristics.

Okay, so they found that Caster Semenya, one of the best female sprinters in the world:

1. Has no womb.
2. Has no ovaries.
3. Has "internal testes."
4. Has three times the testosterone of a normal woman.

Now they're telling her she should get surgery immediately because she may face "grave health risks." Uh. Well. So. Just don't listen to us any more.
[Pic: Getty]

I had no idea the Amish were so nasty. But according to the WSJ, books featuring shy Amish ladies befriending handsome non-Amish men—encounters which can sometimes lead to kissing before betrothal—are flying off the the motherfucking racks of the country stores.

Beverly Lewis, who sets her novels among the Amish in Pennsylvania, has sold 13.5 million copies of her books. Wanda Brunstetter's novels take place in Amish communities in Ohio, Indiana, Missouri and Pennsylvania, and have sold more than four million copies...
Barnes & Noble book buyer Jane Love said Amish novels currently account for 15 of the chain's top 100 religious fiction titles. "It's almost like you put a person with a bonnet or an Amish field in the background and it automatically starts to sell well," Ms. Love said.

This shit is even hotter than Tumblr books! Hey Naomi Wolf, A Cultural History of the Vagina? Less vaginas, more bonnets.

South African 800 meter runner Caster Semenya is totally dominating all the other ladies in the world and pretty much shattering times and all that, and she has lots of muscles, too. IS SHE A MAN? Just have somebody take a look, right? No, says the Daily Mail:

A group of doctors, including an endocrinologist, a gynaecologist, an internal medicine expert, an expert on gender and a psychologist, have started the procedure but it is uncertain when the results will be known. The complex process could take several weeks to be complete.

"Complex process?" We do not understand this at all. Just do the ol' "accidental knee to the groin" test! Two seconds!

Athletic competition and gender studies meet at last!
[Pic: Getty]

He sent this email to his "subscribers" late last month, teaching them—I'm just deducing this, from the content—the secret to getting away with date rape in foreign countries. Absorb the wisdom, as Paul arrives in heterosexual Pair-ee and meets his first conquest:

I was scheduled to meet a Moroccan girl at 9:30,
so we had dinner and they said good-bye...(they
live on the outskirts of town, the French
equivalent of suburbs.)

F. was late, but she called my sister to say so
and they drove by while I was waiting outside the
building. (the next day I got a mobile, my
first on this trip, because I'll be in
France/Corsica for a few weeks.)

F. arrived after 10, and she was adorable! Very
cute, with big brown eyes and a beautiful smile.
She came up so I could drop off some stuff, and I
pounced on her but she didn't like it. She wanted
me to slow down, which I did. We left and went
for a drink down the street. She's only 23, but
precocious and very worldly. I was impressed by
the conversation and her general attitude. After
a drink, we started making out, but she had to go
home because she was leaving for a day-trip to
Lyon the next morning, and I was tired. And my
leg had fallen asleep at the table, distracting me.

We kissed and I walked her to the train.

The next day I ran errands, and got a phone,
among other things. I had a possible meeting with
F. that night, but she was tired,

Surprising! Then, of course, Paul randomly meets another heartbroken girl at a cafe, and sleeps with her, and then gets up the next day, and his Moroccan girl is back, and he fucks her under the Eiffel Tower.
Say what you want about Paul Janka's methods, at least you know he tells the truth.
[Thanks, S!]