The clip comes from someone named CamPain2008 and he is some sort of genius. Here's another classic:

We're soliciting ideas for our very own exclusive internet attack ad, and we welcome your suggestions, in the comments or the inbox. Remember: his middle name is Hussein, he's a secret turban-wearing Muslim, and he loves blow. Just like all of you!

January 29, 1998 BeavHer was at Don Hill's, 511 Greenwich St., every Thursday, Frankie's famous, pioneering 80's revival fun-fest. Guests included model/actress Jamie King, at the time known as James [due to model-land confusion with fellow Next Agency stable-mate Jaime Rishar]. Top tunes from Frank's rotating 80s jukebox included included the Rolling Stones' "It's Only Rock & Roll (But I Like It)," "The Jeffersons" TV Theme "Movin' On Up," Blondie's "Hangin' on the Telephone," Prince's "PopLife," The Beatles' "Come Together," Stories' "Brother Louis" from 1973, The Go-Gos' We Got the Beat," and Andy Gibb's light pop "I Just Want To Be Your Everything.' I found the mid-1990's BeavHer play-list, including TV themes weekly, to be among the most refreshing I've enjoyed in about 3 decades of NYC club-going. *** of 5 stars

Jan. 30, 1998 "Twilo Classics" on West 27th Street with English Drum n Bass DJs GrooveRider, Jumping Jack Frost, DB, & Dara. Twilo had earlier been The Sound Factory, and later was Spirit, before being shut down about three years ago in the Chelsea Police crack-down. Supposedly Drum n Bass survives as an under-ground genre, but I don't know anyone who still listens to DnB this century- despite its worldwide popularity in the mid-90's.

• The same night Closer were at Brownies on Avenue A with BigMouth. BigMouth vanished by the late 90's, and Closer became the BlowUps, the Mirror People and finally WhiteLight Motorcade. WLM released two excellent CDs but never attracted the attention they deserved during the NYC 'Rock Revolution' circa 2001 or so.
• 
  
  Jan. 31 1998 The Mooney Suzuki were at Coney Island High/Green Door, 15 St. Mark's Place. The Mooneys started out as a credible garage/Mod act in the mid-90s, but several changes in image & labels did them no favours in the hard-scrabble rock trenches. Coney was a much-loved and dependable East Village rock dive seemingly shuttered during the Giuliani era.
  
  February 3, 1998 The weekly Subliminal house party was at 17 W. 19th st. Over the next 5+ years Subliminal boss Erick Morillo became one of the world's leading djs. Subliminal flourished at Centrofly until that club closed about 5 years ago. Now Morillo co-owns pacha on West 46th St., and he spends the summer in Ibiza.

  Feb. 5, 1998 Tiswas, Nick Marc's long-standing Brit-Pop shindig was at Coney Island High each Thursday, this night featuring Smitty's performing. The low-ceilinged and claustrophobic upstairs at Coney provided many a beer- and sweat-soaked Tiswas night. A bit later in 1998 Tiswas moved to Don Hill's on Saturdays.
  

• Then over to BeavHer, top songs: Bowie's 'Suffragette City' Bee Gees' "Staying Alive," Four Seasons' December 1963," The Who "I Can't Explain," and New Order's "Confusion."
  
• the same night, Steve & Pedro from Shout! presented 'The Bounce' at the Cooler on West 14th St., with bands the Charade, Mooney Suzuki, Sonic Mood Set, & the Panic. Meat-packing has completely changed in the last decade I was at Kiss & Fly last Thursday on West 13th I could not believe the wanna-be Euro atmosphere and loose Russian 'models.'
  
• And Paint was at the Continental on 3rd Avenue/St. Marks Place. Paint was another under-appreciated experimental-art rock act of the mid-90s.
• 
  
  Feb. 12, 1998 "I Love Fayva," Captain Kangaroo/lounge singer Johnny Fayva hosted an evening of Valentine's romance at Don Hill's BeavHer. "Join Johnny & Ricky as they take you on a journey to the heart. Valentine surprises with Frankie 'Cupid' Inglese." Russell "Fayva" Steinberg moved his act West to L.A. in the 21st Century. Fayva always looked a lot like Tony Clifton to me, some other Andy Kaufman obsessive will have to puzzle out that connection.

  Feb. 13, 1998 Tsuyoshi Suzuki, one half of the Psy-Trance production team Prana, made his first ever Manhattan appearance, at Vinyl in TriBeca I think. His previous tri-state performances were at the Matsuri party & the Liberty Science Center, as my techicolour rave flyer informs me. DJ Icey from Florida and MixMaster Morris were also on the bill. Vinyl has been known as Nasa/Shelter and later Arc before closing in 2003, one of the best under-ground dance venues of the house, rave & progressive eras. Some people still swear by Psy-Trance, but I haven't listened to Trance since 2002 at least.

  Feb. 19, 1998 Tiswas at Coney Island High featured Closer and Altra performing. Nick marc's best tune of the night was 'Shout to the Top' by the Style Council. Other Tis' classics incl. the Jam's "Start!" The Charlatans' "Weirdo," The Stones' "Satisfaction," Blur's There's No Other Way, " Pulp's "Disco 2000," The La's "There She Goes," Duran's "Girls On Film," the Smith's "This Charming Man," The Chemical Brosthers' "Leave Home," Stone Roses' "Fool's Gold" and "Elephant Stone," and the Ventures' "Hawaii 5-O" theme. Nobody doesn't love a 1970s TV theme !

  Feb. 20, 1998 Spacehog played the Westbeth Center, a showcase gig for their second "Chinese Album." Talk about yer 1 hit wonders.
  

• Afterwards over to Vinyl/Nasa for 'Beatbox' with Carlos from SF [one of my fave 90s rave djs ever], James Christian & Heather Heart.
• 
  
  Feb. 21 1998 The Upper Crust headlined Coney Island High/Green Door.

  Feb. 26, 1998 BeavHer at Don Hill's with guest Tamika & top tunes "Good Times" by Chic, M's "Pop Muzik," Rod Stewart "D'Ya Think I'm Sexy," Frankie Valli's "Grease," Rick Springfield's "Jessies Girl," J5 "The Love You Save," Bee Gees' "Staying Alive," Beastie's "Brass Monkey," Blondie Call Me," Iggy "Lust For Life," Til Tuesday "Voices Carry," Prince "Erotic City, MiJax' "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough," and the Specials' "Do the Dog." I've enjoyed several hundred nights at Don Hill's since 1994, but the party I definitely danced the most songs at was always BeavHer in the mid-late 90s. Even songs like Steely Dan's 'Black Cow' got me sweaty & percolating, if you can believe it. I hope you can.
  

• The same night the Charade headlined Tiswas at Coney. Another under-valued Mod revival band on the Tiswas- Staten Island circuit of the mid-1900's.

• Feb. 27, 1998 I attended the Omega rave at Vinyl/Nasa with djs Charles Feelgood, Scott Richmond, Micro vs X-Dream [Long Island Caffeine tag-team], Odyssey, I-Cue, Justin Time and a special performance by Richie Rich!! Feelgood still holds down the Baltimore house scene while Richie has impressed all his Limelight/Tunnel/Nasa co-conspirators with his 21st century Heathette success. No Heatherette show at last week's NY Fashion Week howevs, come back Richie!

  

  • Top Media Events in Feb. 1998 included El Nino & Global Warming, Monica Lewinsky, the UnaBomber's shack, and Peter Gatien was acquitted in his drug dealing case at Limelight nightclub.
    
  • Sadly the Beach Boys' guitarist & founder Carl Wilson passed away at 51. In a somewhat lesser death, Falco [Johann Holzel] died when his SUV crashed into a bus in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic. Also Antonio Prohias, who drew "Spy Vs. Spy" in "Mad" magazine, died at 77.
    
  • My favourite film in Feb. 98 was 'Gia' on HBO with Angelina Jolie. I also saw 'SpiceWorld' on 86th St.
    
  • Art shows in Feb. 1998 incl. Penelope Umbrico at Julie Saul, and Marc Quinn & Nicolas de Stael at Mitchell Innes & Nash, 1018 Madison Ave. .
    
  • The US Post Service issued a cool cross-word puzzle stamp.
    
  • And my Horoscope Lucky Colours incl: sky blue, navy blue, purple. & pink.
  
  
  - The Earl Grey -
  10021/ 19103

  
  Currently listening:
  Aja
  By Steely Dan

A tipster asks, "will the spawn have Kucz's real nose?" And we want to know: is Alex really incapable of carrying her own child to term or does she just not want to? An unfair question perhaps, especially to ask of a 40-year-old woman (is it also unfair to mention that? Pretty sure her birthday was a couple weeks ago!), but a look at the Kucz's work and public statements presents a character who might just not want some sort of fattening, nutrient-sucking monster gestating in her toned stomach.

Back in 2004, Alex presented us with one of her trademark anecdotal investigations into the things her rich friend talk about at lunch. The subject: Pregnancy Paranoia. Did you know that you have to give up certain of life's pleasures during the nine months of pregnancy? It's true! Rich women have read as much on the Internets!

''Well, you know you can't wear an underwire bra,'' one young mother announced.

''No thong underwear,'' said Cricket Burns, the style director of Quest magazine and a mother of two.

''Or Botox,'' chimed in another young mother.

Mushrooms, said Jessica Friedberg, a mother of two perfect ZIP-code-10021 children.

The warnings tumbled forth: Tanning spray. Hair dryers. Acrylic nails. The J. Sisters. Cellphones. Then the waiters delivered dessert, a gooey chocolate soufflé with a mousse center and a side of crème anglaise.

Ms. Burns looked down, and in a voice lowered to the tone a Norad officer might use to announce the approach of nuclear warheads, said: ''And . . . no . . . chocolate . . . mousse.''

And salmon! And sushi! Why on Earth would any person ever want to do this to themselves? Especially where there are fools out there willing to take that fetus off your hands until its ready to be cooed over and swaddled in diamond-encrusted imported silk blankets.

Congrats Alex and Charles!

Journo Awaits Stork [NYP]
The Nine Months of Living Anciously [NYT]

"She had people working around the clock to make these books happen, in art, editorial, and production, and yet she always needed to be the sole person taking credit for everything."

But: wanting something as pathetically petty as a transparently 'pseudonymous' art direction credit? Well, that was just par for the course. "She wanted to take credit for the toilets being cleaned, too," our source said wryly.

This same source finds it funny that Judith mentions having a chance to catch up on her reading in that Harper's Bazaar story, guessing that maybe now she'll have a chance to sit down with some of the books she published. Because "she never read anything but the flap copy."

The Closing: Charles Kushner [Real Deal]

"Gawker," he begins, "I appreciate the fact you ran the story without contacting me for ANY type of validation." We think "I appreciate" might actually mean "I don't appreciate." Ah, witless sarcasm! The #1 rhetorical tool of incensed fourth-graders.

"I will ask you nicely to take down the blog about me (FARQ aready has). I really don't want to get my legal team involved, I prefer to play nice." First, it's called "Fark," and we can't imagine what made them take the link down. Being legal professionals, John, your "legal team" probably already knows this, but just in case you don't? Assuming you're suggesting defamation, a complainant must show that a statement could be found to convey a provable factual proposition. We're thinking that your "legal team" might recognize that they'd have a hard time with "worst person in the world" and "nightmare online dater." Those are just our opinions! Some other people might think, based on your public internet presence and the communications you've chosen to make public via a dating site, that you are the best person in the world, and a model online dater, and that is totally their prerogative. Anyway, we appreciate that you prefer to "play nice."

"If you even care about my side of the story, it is posted on the front of my webpage." Aw, of course we care! We love hearing your side of the story! Unfortunately, it didn't totally change our minds about your douchiness to read, for example, that you had called your Match.com lady a fatty because "Men lie about their height. Women lie about their weight. If a person has nothing but pictures of their head, they are not height/weight proportional. It is a cold reality. I have standards, as we all do."

"The title "worst person in the world" - I think it certainly fits the "crime". Sending a not so nice PERSONAL, PRIVATE email to someone. The end result - that people are trying to ruin my entire life and career is rapidly in progress." Um, but ... didn't you just say in your open letter that the "movies, books, TV shows" offers were rolling in? Confusing!

"I assume this brings you some type of joy. I wish we were as diligent about pedophiles, rapist[sic], murderers and terrrorists - we could clean up the world in a day!" I have no idea what would have given you the impression that cleaning up the world was in any way our goal here.

"By the way, an internet dating 'NIGHTMARE' would include stalking, date rape, murder, etc. Not an unpleasant email exchange!" You're right, John: an email from you is not as bad as stalking, date rape and murder. No argument there!

"Regards,

John Fitzgerald Page
'THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD'
'NIGHTMARE ONLINE DATER'"

Right on! Own it!

A Note From "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD" [John Fitzgerald Page]

Rumors will soon be swirling around the department, so I want to tell the full and nuanced story to the five of you among the graduate students and ask that you clarify the issues for any of your fellow grad students who ask. This sort of thing can get wildly distorted pretty quickly. You can feel free to use any part or all of this email to do so. I really appreciate your help.

Put down your cup of coffee or you might spill it.

Elizabeth is leaving me for Ted Turner.

She and I will remain the best of friends. She also knows about, endorses, and even encourages that I tell this much detail of the story:
She has spoken openly in her work and in her public life of the fact that she was molested by her grandfather from an early age, a molestation that was known and tacitly condoned by her radically Evangelical Christian parents. She then went into a decade-long abusive marriage. I met her when she was in a terminally desperate state from this lifetime of abuse, and we married and we truly loved each other.

I was able to help her a great deal. She says I saved her life. But de facto therapy as the initial foundation of a marriage eventually sucks the life out of a relationship. And it is very common for a woman to be drawn to men who remind them of their childhood abusers. Ted is such a man, though fortunately, he is far from being abusive. From all that I can tell, he is kind to her, loyal, considerate, and devoted to his family, and perhaps, therefore, he can redeem some things for her.

Further, Elizabeth has never been able to step out of the shadow of the Pulitzer. As you know-and she knows-I have been an avid admirer and supporter of her work. Everyone has heard me proclaim my sincere high regard for her as an artist. I often did this publicly. But she has published two brilliant novels since she's been with me and neither has gotten anywhere near the recognition that they richly deserve. That made it harder and harder for her to live with the ongoing praise and opportunity that flows to a Pulitzer winner. Not because of jealousy. She has always been very happy for me. But the multitude of small reflections of regard that came my way inevitably threw a spotlight on the absence of those expressions of regard for her. She felt as if she was failing as a writer.

Then, in March, she nearly died from an intestinal blockage in Argentina while on a trip with Ted. The trauma of that led her further to profoundly question her own identity. It became clear to her that the only way she can truly find herself is by making this change in her life.

She will not be Ted's only girlfriend. Ted is permanently and avowedly non-monogamous. But though he has several girlfriends, it is a very small number, and he does not take them up lightly and he gives them his absolute support when he does. And Elizabeth's leaving me is as much about the three weeks a month she is alone as it is about the week a month she is with Ted. She will find her own space and her own light in which to create the great works of art she is destined to create.

I will keep my house. I will keep my dogs and cats. I will keep virtually everything. She is being characteristically generous about that. But I will lose Elizabeth. And that is very sad. But the loss has been happening through many years of our shared struggle to make her whole. In that, I've done all I can do, as has she. I wish her the best. I ask you not to think ill of her in any way.

Elizabeth and I will now conduct ourselves as if this is public knowledge. So as I suggested at the outset, you need not keep this to yourself, if the occasion arises to speak of it to someone. This is best anyway, since I am not up to the task of telling this story over and over.
I have a high regard and affection for the students in our program. I hope this will help them sort out this rather intense story in an appropriate way.
Best,
Bob Butler