Last week, John McPhee published a lengthy piece on The Structure of Nonfiction Writing in The New Yorker. The collective eye-glaze of readers upon hearing that news could cover all the world's donuts. We're happy to report, though, that McPhee has surprised us.

Esquire and ESPN Magazine writer Chris Jones—winner of both a National Magazine Award (though not as many as he believes he deserves) and a Gawker Least Important Writers award—has long been known as that guy. That guy who, despite having one of the more enviable writing jobs in journalism, would wail about not…

With our profuse apologies, we now present to you, in no particular order, the 50 least important writers of 2012. Enjoy, or not.

While we eagerly await Will McAvoy having the guts to openly demand stricter gun control laws two years from now, Newsroom creator Aaron Sorkin has canned his entire writing staff, this despite decent ratings and second season renewal. Oh, but he did keep one writer: ex-girlfriend Corinne Kingsbury.

XO Jane went through a lot of serious drama when they had to part ways with dust-smoking suicidal narcissist downtown swinger beauty columnist Cat Marnell, after they had sucked every last car-wreck-in-action page view that they reasonably could from her while still maintaining a decent Caring Big Sister posture. But…

Yesterday, former Gawkerer and current Salon writer Alex Pareene wrote a completely accurate and well-deserved knife-twisting takedown of Jonah Goldberg, the National Review's most youthful self-impressed hack. If you are unsure as to whether or not Jonah Goldberg is a hack, I encourage you to read Pareene's piece in…

Despite very specific instructions by us to cease and desist with his nature-based musings, designated New York Times leaf-and-cow columnist Verlyn Klinkenborg continues to invade the Sunday op-ed section with some of the world's most artisanal writing. None of which has anything to do with anything.

Esquire's Chris Jones, who has won two National Magazine Awards but earned many, many more, has taken to the pages of his magazine's sex issue to ask an important question: Why don't women fuck me better?

Might as well get THIS one out of the way: the Sex/ Internet/ Microfame story of the week comes to us courtesy of Kat Stoeffel at the New York Observer, who introduces us to 21 year-old college student and occasional writer-about-sex on the internet "Marie Calloway" (a pseudonym). Sometimes Marie writes about sex, on…

Katie Roiphe. Katie Roiphe. Katie Roiphe. God, what has she written now?

The New Yorker's Malcolm Gladwell just wrapped up a three-city tour shilling for Bank of America and delivering "actionable advice" to its customers.

In Slate today, Adam Gopnik, the "Adam Gopnik's kids" correspondent for The New Yorker, explains the fine distinctions of New Yorkerania: "compare Mencken and Liebling, often mistaken as twin stylists, and you see the difference between heavy-handed Teutonic mockery and the ideal ironic, stinging, New Yorker tone."

Katie Roiphe—writer, daughter of Anne, white female, upper class, Brooklynite, pooh-poohs date rape, hates Gawker, hates your sex life, you know the one—had a very dramatic experience today. Very dramatic. It was... I don't even... just let me gather my nerves for a moment.

Hud Morgan, former Gawker staple and Men's Vogue writer known for being a gangster fashionista and getting slapped by Spencer Morgan, has "done it again," so to speak: he appears in this weird video, rapping. Jokey? Semi-joke? Serious-ish? We really can't tell any more.

Yesterday, the already-shrunken world of media reporting lost its two grandest figures: Jim Romenesko, the quiet man who singlehandedly set the agenda, like a front page editor for all media news (semi-retiring, by choice); and Slate's Jack Shafer—America's most consistently fearless press critic (laid off). Step…

VS Naipaul is a winner of the Nobel Prize for literature, and is considered one of the greatest British writers of his generation. So he must be a smart guy, right? Sure, sure.

Noted dick Buzz Bissinger is confused. Boxing great Sugar Ray Leonard claims in a new memoir that he was molested by a former coach. But Leonard didn't tell Bissinger, the world's greatest sports reporter, first and exclusively. So obviously Leonard is lying.

Pop music thingamajig Lady Gaga published her first V magazine column and boy is she trying to school readers. Not only do they get a lesson on how she came up with her "Born This Way" video, but also a lecture on art, fashion, and literature.

Mary Elizabeth Williams is a longtime staff writer at Salon. Her job entails finding whatever self-explanatory thing was popular on the internet yesterday, and writing several hundred words today purporting to shed light on it. She could make a great living tutoring layabout high school kids in how to pad two paltry…