A teenage father has been arrested for allegedly biting off the nose of his infant son, causing a skull fracture and brain hemorrhage.

A New Jersey beautician has been charged with manslaughter in the death of a client who suffered a fatal reaction to a black-market silicone butt enhancement.

Beat scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could remix Jeff Goldblum's laugh from Jurassic Park, they didn't stop to think if they should. And now we've got this.

When his girlfriend's ex-husband showed up in the middle of the night, one man did the only thing that made sense: He grabbed a replica video game sword and challenged the intruder to a duel.

A teenager who's DTF pretty much anything you can put in a microwave just gave a revealing interview about how he became famous for getting all American Pie on a Hot Pocket.

When the Nobel committee awards this year's prize for Simultaneously Feeding and Humiliating Squirrels, the inventors of this horse-head squirrel feeder are definitely going home with the hardware.

Considering all the damage that's been done in Afghanistan, to Afghans and to Americans, one dog may not mean all that much in the big scheme of things. But Jesus, a dog. Jesus. He just wants to please somebody.

Call of the Wildman, Animal Planet's blockbuster chronicle of a wildlife trapper, is one helluva romp. It's also a drama-staging, zebra-drugging, wallaby-kidnapping, raccoon- and bat-killing crock of shit, according to a disturbing new in-depth investigation by Mother Jones.

He's gonna be sore tomorrow!

Some science teachers are content with showing their class how to power lightbulbs with lemons. Other science teachers are a bit more hardcore.

That man you see above is holding a slice of Swiss cheese over his dick. He is currently driving around the Mayfair area of Philadelphia asking women to use the slice of cheese while jerking him off.

A man who arrived at his local hospital complaining of stomach pains was found to have a bottle lodged deep inside his abdomen and no memory of how it got up there.

Hell hath no feces like a sorority girl scorned.

A disgruntled baker took shit-flinging to a near-literal level when she retaliated against a client by providing her engagement party with a poo-shaped cake topped with the words "eat shit."

Would you pay $42,000 to have cybersex with this woman over webcam? Or, rather, did you?

A North Carolina family says their teenage son was shot and killed "in cold blood" by local police despite having already been restrained and tased following a schizophrenic episode.

It's a question that's been asked since time immemorial: Could a woman create an online dating profile "so loathsome that no man would message it"?