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interviews
celebrity-industrial complex
Paparazzi To Rumble With Surfers In Malibu
Remember the big paparazzi beat-down by surfers in Malibu this past weekend? Well, there's now supposed to be a big Saturday rumble between the two groups, who have been trading taunts in the comments of pap-run news site X17.com. The original clash pitted a mob of entitled white Malibu denizens against the rough-and-tumble paps, some of whom are ex-gang members and many of whom are immigrants, some illegal. The new fight promises even more fun ethnic tension under the sun: More »
cubicle culture
How To Manage 20-Somethings: The Real Shit
Totally irrelevant newsweekly-turned-listicle-magazine US News & World Report brings you a straight-talking list of ten tips for managing an office full of 20-somethings, according to old business dude G.L. Hoffman. His pointers include "Add value," "Let them use their media," "They want standards," and "Expect varied, non-chain-of-command type communications." Whatever that means. As an actual 20-something, I'm communicating up G.L. Hoffman's chain of command that this list is straight up crapola. You are old and your advice is dorky, Mr. Hoffman! And too long—we 20-somethings have no attention span (or respect for our elders), due to drug use. After the jump, five real tips for managing an office full of 20-somethings, should you ever find yourself in such an unlucky position: More »
monsters
Paris Hilton Pet Cruelty Prevented
Twisted animal-hating liar Paris Hilton has finally been stopped! OK, well, not entirely. A battle has been won, even as Hilton's war against pets rages on. The heiress is known to often abandon one or more of her two-dozen-ish pets, sometimes in a closet, to die, starving. And there are still idiots out there letting her adopt animals. But not everyone is an idiot! Hilton, you see, was recently on her way to a photo shoop and reportedly decided to pick up a Yorkie like it was a fucking latte. She "wanted a puppy in the picture so it would look cuter," a tipster told Page Six. And the valiant staff at the Puppy Store on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles decided to stop Hilton from purchasing the animal because it seemed like an "impulse buy." The socialite lost her shit, but the store held its ground. Excellent, this is a great way to start a Tuesday. But LA animal services needs to step up its sad "investigation." [Post] (Photo via X17)
deep thoughts
We know it's been around the internet a couple times since yesterday, but we just find something so lovely and sad and telling about this photograph of a be-tube-topped Britney Spears, alone in a sea of asphalt, riding atop a tiny Escalade. Our Daytime Editor Alex Pareene says, "Here is your 21st century, America!" Here it is indeed. Puttering slowly in circles, bottled water clutched in hand, the hot sun beating down. Some days it feels as though we will do nothing else but form those lazy circles for the rest of time, until the day we all sigh, nod our heads, and disappear.
Photo of Britney Spears In Tiny Car Makes Us Wistful
We know it's been around the internet a couple times since yesterday, but we just find something so lovely and sad and telling about this photograph of a be-tube-topped Britney Spears, alone in a sea of asphalt, riding atop a tiny Escalade. Our Daytime Editor Alex Pareene says, "Here is your 21st century, America!" Here it is indeed. Puttering slowly in circles, bottled water clutched in hand, the hot sun beating down. Some days it feels as though we will do nothing else but form those lazy circles for the rest of time, until the day we all sigh, nod our heads, and disappear.
AP Swallows Obvious Alien Cover Story
Federal agents secretly removed 67 bodies from a patch of New Mexico desert not terribly far from UFO crash zone Roswell. Clearly these are alien remains, but the Feds insist they are the skeletons of black Civil War soldiers, and needed protection from a crazy historian in an airplane, who is now dead. The Associated Press did not bother to dig for the Truth, which Is Out There. [AP]
gossip roundup
Comeback Britney Is Sorry She Fired You That One Time
- Britney Spears dug deep into her rolodex and found the last manager she had who was not totally insane. Turns out it was the one who discovered the singer. And who she told off while going crazy. Woops. [OK!] (Photo: X17)
- On a less hopeful note, Spears is into wigs again. She wore a very plain, brunette wig for half a car ride. Paparazzi den X17, which of course is in a position to measure Spears' activity to fraction-of-a-car-ride accuracy, asked "why???" [X17]
- The thing about Johnny Depp making ads for Magnum condums? Amazingly, that turns out to NOT be true. [Portfolio]
- John Cusak's stalker, who is 33 and apparently severely suburned, took a cab to the movie star's house, then could not pay, so the police were called. Then the police found something alarming and took the actor's stalker to jail. [AP]
- First Amy Winehouse was moving to the British countryside, then she was about to leave for rehab in Israel or South Africa, now she's just moving across town? I am starting to suspect the Sun does not have the highest standards for accuracy. WHO KNEW?? [Sun]
- Kylie Minogue is giving American gays one last chance to get the rest of the country to fall in love with her, then the pop diva never coming back ever again. [Sun]
celebrity gossip
Jobs At X17 And Associated Press
Good news for budding gossip reporters, or writers desperate enough to pretend Britney Spears rehashes are their life's ambition: some media organizations are still hiring. More »
x17
Paparazzi Lord's Nauseating Justifications
Paparazzi agency X17 has been linked to the beating of a rival photographer and reportedly hires ex gang members, but its owner said at NYU today that we should all thank X17 paps for protecting our precious celebrities. X17's Francois Regis Navarre "suggested that a pack of paparazzi may have been able to prevent John Lennon's murder in 1980; [wife Brandy] Navarre said photos of partying starlets have sometimes spurred their families to get professional help," Ad Age reported. Funny that paparazzi king Francois is now so concerned with everyone's safety; it was only last week that he said, after being informed police were close to taking three of his photographers into custody in connection with the beating, "whatever they do on their own is their own business." The X17 freelance paps had allegedly told their victim, "you should not be here — only X17 gets these shots." Here's X17's justification for being so bloody aggressive: More »
x17
Paparazzo Beaten By Competitors Over Britney Shots, He Says
Celebrity picture agency X17 has been running in respectable media circles lately. In the past month it has been the subject of a cover story in the Atlantic and a profile in Radar. Its client list now includes names like CNN. But X17's history, which includes allegations of hiring ex gang members and undocumented immigrants, is coming back to haunt the agency. Paparazzo Alison Silva, pictured, said he was badly beaten by three photographers working for X17 while parked a block from singer Britney Spears' house. "You should not be here. Only X17 gets these shots," he was allegedly told prior to sustaining "blunt head trauma" and a broken nose and being rushed to the emergency room. Three witnesses called 911, the LA police investigated and, according to MTV News, the alleged assailants are expected to be taken into custody Monday. X17 responded by not bothering to deny anything: More »
open caption
Shinyness of Clothing, Hair Confirms Starlet Actually Made of Stars
[Actress Lindsay Lohan arriving at a Los Angeles restaurant with her new boyfriend yesterday; image via X17] More »
look at me, dammit
Britney Spears Bought This See-Through Top Because You Are Breaking Her Heart
Britney Spears has already flashed her nipple and her handler has flashed some iPhone drama, but you couldn't be bothered, so now Brit is flooding the zone and insists you WILL pay attention to her: In the past couple of hours we have learned she wore a see-through shirt (left) while out at a mall with estranged-as-of-last-night-handler Sam Lufti, bought a new Benz, reunited with her mom, argued with her mom in public, decided to press forward and seek visitation with her kids and apparently there's some kind of intervention in the works, God knows why. Click through for a bigger shot and to show you care. More »
rebounding
Britney Spears Experiences Emotional Growth
Right, so, it turns out that exposing your breasts to a paparazzo is a poor way to start the night, and Britney has learned this the hard way. Spears went on to have some sort of apparent fight with Sam Lufti, her manager and the guy who accompanied her to the dance studio where she flashed a cameraman, the same cameraman who said "thanks Sam." She ended up, sensibly, with Adnan Ghalib, the pap who she disowned, like, last week because he was pimping her to photographers to make money. Also, paparazzi were allowed to prey freely in her driveway for some reason, which makes about as much sense as everything else.
con men
How Francis X. Morrissey Swindled New York's Best and Brightest
Francis X. Morrissey Jr. was the kind of white guy rich white people could trust. He's a lawyer specializing in wills, he's old, he wears loafers. He also, incidentally, swindled New York City's rich and very rich out of millions of dollars, a number of apartments and at least one art collection. Currently, Mr. Morrissey is facing an 18-count indictment along with her nogudnik son Anthony Marhsall for financially exploiting the late Mrs. Astor in the twilight of her life. But the Park Avenue matriarch was just the one lady in a long line of very rich, very dead and very punked clients Morrissey defrauded. He's swindled artists, gallery owners and even Mother Teresa's doctor. In Morrissey's defense, he does claim to be dyslexic. Judging from his massive history of defrauding the dead, he's still a nam dab! But how did he do it? [NB: Oh yeah, and by a fluke in our legal system, he's totally innocent until proven guilty! Please insert "been accused of" between pronouns referring to Morrissey and verbs referring to him.]More »
holding out for a hero
One Year Later: Perez v. You
In the year 3008, when the dust finally settles in the contentious battle between litigious copyright holders and the rest of commie internet humanity, one bold person will stand out above the fray as an emblem for your right to copy and paste anything you damn well please onto your cute blog. Ladies and gentlemen, drop your Lawrence Lessig tomes at the door, because we're here to celebrate the one, the only Perez Hilton.More »
class rage
