• Wacky old Giorgio Armani is going back on his promise to PETA not to use fur in his designs. [P6]
• Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston was seen coming out of a fur shop. [Faded Youth]
• Oil heir Brandon Davis hasn't actually inherited anything yet, so he's scamming all the other heirs and rich people for money, and that's apparently not cool. One of them is going to call the American Express fraud department if complaining to Page Six doesn't produce immediate results. Smart plan. [P6]
• Heather Mills is actually suing someone who called her a "witch" on the grounds that she's not actually a witch. Apparently in England witch accusations are still taken very seriously. [P6]
• Perez Hilton will be photographed with his hair on fire surrounded by naked people. [P6]
• Supposedly, Crispin Glover disowned a friend for sleeping with Gene Simmons in that sex tape. [Showbiz Spy]

Here's what Page Six reported in June 2007:

Shelby Segall, whose yard borders Hilton's, tells The Post's Marianne Garvey:

"She treats her animals horribly. They are always getting out and running around the neighborhood. She had a little orange kitty about a year ago that kept getting out and we kept telling her it was outside. She didn't seem like she cared, and then one day the cat got run over in the middle of the street and died. Not long after, little [Chihuahua] Tinkerbell came to my door and I left a note on her gate. Her assistant came over frantic and tried to offer me a $40 reward. I said, 'Don't insult me.' "

Another neighbor said, "I found two little Chihuahuas of hers running up and down the street with cars and people going up and down. I put them in my bathroom and called Paris. Her assistant answered and said, 'You can't drop them off! Miss Hilton isn't home!' She took three hours to come get them.

When Page Six is able to back up its salacious gossip with an honest-to-god named source, that's a pretty good sign something real is happening.

Of course, nothing will ever be proven, because the timid poodles at LA animal control can't even get into Hilton's house to get a count of the animals. Someone in authority: Step up and stop the churning animal chaos!

[X17 via Post]

(Photo: X17)

"I will Karate Chop anybody and everybody that looks like Eurotrash," wrote one surfer. " And to you Brazilian roid boy - I am going to punch you in the vagina."

And from a pap, via the Daily News:

"I've made $94K a year and I'm only four months into it ... because stupid white trash people like your fat mother buy the magazines. We hunt the very people you worship for no reason."

So basically, as the Daily News noted, the brawl is shaping up to look like something out of West Side Story.

Who to root for? Even if they were the victims in this case, the paps can be pretty brutal and unlawful themselves. And those who show up to inflict physical battery on their opponents lose the right to wrap themselves in the legal protection of the First Amendment. The surfers, on the other hand, are the thugs who made this thing physical in the first place, and they have the nerve to be self-righteous about it.

Hopefully it won't matter, because every paparazzo will want to be the one trying to slyly hang back and capture preciou$$$ footage of the big fight, while the surfers will realize they can't, in an evenly-numbered match, lick a bunch of nasty paps as though they were tasty waves, and besides they'll likely be caught on camera if they do.

Anyway, if it does happen, I want to get the play-by-play recap ONLY from this guy.

[Daily News]

• Britney Spears dug deep into her rolodex and found the last manager she had who was not totally insane. Turns out it was the one who discovered the singer. And who she told off while going crazy. Woops. [OK!] (Photo: X17)
• On a less hopeful note, Spears is into wigs again. She wore a very plain, brunette wig for half a car ride. Paparazzi den X17, which of course is in a position to measure Spears' activity to fraction-of-a-car-ride accuracy, asked "why???" [X17]
• The thing about Johnny Depp making ads for Magnum condums? Amazingly, that turns out to NOT be true. [Portfolio]
• John Cusak's stalker, who is 33 and apparently severely suburned, took a cab to the movie star's house, then could not pay, so the police were called. Then the police found something alarming and took the actor's stalker to jail. [AP]
• First Amy Winehouse was moving to the British countryside, then she was about to leave for rehab in Israel or South Africa, now she's just moving across town? I am starting to suspect the Sun does not have the highest standards for accuracy. WHO KNEW?? [Sun]
• Kylie Minogue is giving American gays one last chance to get the rest of the country to fall in love with her, then the pop diva never coming back ever again. [Sun]

Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation, which shut down the Page Six's website earlier this month, says economic conditions aren't right for new contenders in the viciously competitive online gossip arena. But word is the Associated Press—which recently declared that trainwreck Britney Spears was henceforth a "big deal"—is hiring 20 or so writers for the wire service's new entertainment site.

And paparazzi agency x17, which supplies celebrity photos and video to media organizations such as CNN, is cutting out the middleman: the controversial shop, which near cornered the market in Britney Spears non-news, will service consumers directly with its own imagery, and prose provided by its own editorial staff.

"We're trying to get the shots before they go into rehab," said Brandy Navarre...

"We don't have to send 500 faxes and deal with a publicist," Ms. Navarre said. "We just go out there and do it."

But Bonnie Fuller, editorial director of American Media and former editor of Us Weekly, probably described the appeal of the approach most directly. "It's invigorating," she said.

The NYU panel was sponsored by the Atlantic.

[Ad Age]

Reached for comment by MTV News, X17 co-owners Francois and Brandy Navarre initially declined comment because they have not been served with the suit, but when asked about the police matter, they said that the photographers are not employees, but freelancers, and therefore are not under contract. "I don't think the suit against us will hold up," Brandy said. "They give me their pictures but whatever they do on their own is their own business," Francois said.

Respectable news outlets like CNN and ABC, plus the usual assortment of celebrity media like Us Weekly, keep X17 supplied with licensing money. (All are clients, according to the Atlantic.) That's less likely to continue if the clients think they are bankrolling a gang.

MTV: Paparazzo Sues X17 Agency After Alleged Assault While Covering Britney Spears

CodePink's new line beats the original, As Always, Starlet Gracefully Exits Automobile.

Photos: X17

[Shirley MacLaine in Malibu, Jan 6; image via X17]

New line from commenter ColonelMustard.

[Ivanka Trump gallivants in the waters of St. Barth's, Jan. 2; image via X17]

New headline from commenter Conbon!

While you spend the rest of November counting the minutes until Jakulia returns from the Caribbean, a historic moment in the annals of legal history could pass you right by: the one-year anniversary since celeb photo company X17 filed suit against Perez Hilton for copyright infringement. Even if you miss the passing of the historic event four days from now, the judge in the case already began celebrating for you last week by tossing out a counter-suit from Hilton that claimed X17 was running "a paparazzi sweatshop." Too bad for Perez (and too bad for all those tv writers on strike — Paparazzi Sweatshop would make a great miniseries!), the judge ruled that even if this were true, it has absolutely nothing to do with the original copyright lawsuit.

Original copyright lawsuit? Since it was a year ago, and since remembering what Serena van der Woodsen wore on last week's Gossip Girl is hard enough, perhaps a refresher is in order...

On November 30, 2006, X17 filed a $7.5 million copyright infringement suit against Perez Hilton (ak to no one as Mario Lavandeira). Unfazed, Hilton did not deny this; instead, he argued that Photoshopping white lines of cocaine dripping down Beyonce's visage constituted an act of satire. Apparently when Perez took college lit, the prof told him the difference between parody and satire is simple: parody is funny. With this knowledge, and a copy of Pre-Law For Dummies, where he learned that satire is protected by the First Amendment, Mario turned himself into Perez, and the rest is browser history.

When forced to take a stance, most of us (and by "most of us" I mean "people who aren't lawyers or record executives") generally believe in the journalist's right to fair use, in an artist's right to appropriate, in the file-sharers right to engage in reciprocal enjoyment of music. But Perez Hilton forces us to confront the worst possible implications of our beliefs by concocting the stupidest imaginable excuse for what is effectively stealing photos. Perez believes everything is parody, so naturally everything is permissible. Reality, however, is a bugbear to the pink one — he still reportedly contends that his reportage on Castro's death is true.