Gawker: xenii

Week's best comments: Marissa be ballin'

Nick Douglas — Fri, 19 May 2006 22:34:35 EDT

A good week for wit. Blackjack blows everyone else away with the lyrics to Marissa Mayer's beatbox:

rollin thru da Plex in the Escalade
Friday an' this bitch's gettin paid hahahaha HAhahaha
it's ruff the Wag's up in m'grill an
since I dumped Larry, serious illin' huahhahaha huahhahaha
everytime I turn around in this class
Stanford boys peepin my ass
hate doin dis shit ain't doin this shit
gonna see Eric at half past five
look muthafucka at this 45 BOOM
hahaha hahaha hahaha ha ha ha

Matto makes a Napster funny:

I made out with Shawn, but took off when he mentioned the monthly fee.

Blackjack goes for the double whammy:

Does everyone in the Valley talk at speeds that make it seem like Starbucks serves a heaping helping of crystal meth with every latte?

valleyvoyeur re-spins Sergey's rumored rejection at Club Xenii:

I think it's probably a sign of their GOOD character that they get turned down by some chicks, because this means they aren't just going up to one of the billion hot,skanky girls in LA and saying "hey, i'm the [lego/humidifier] boy that started Google, and I have 15 billion dollars.. wanna fuck?"

Hell, that's what I'd do, and I guarantee you it'd work.

Come back next week, when BlackJack goes for a hat trick. You can comment too! Prove you're witty or important at tips@valleywag.com.

Xenii vs. Xeni

Nick Douglas — Fri, 19 May 2006 18:57:12 EDT

Continuing "Keeping straight with the Joneses" day, tech writers Cyrus Farivar and Paul Boutin compare L.A.'s Xenii ("ex-ee-knee"), the exclusive club patronized by Google's Sergey Brin, to L.A.'s Xeni ("SHEH-nee"), the jet-setting journalist pictured at left, now reporting for NPR, Wired Magazine, and Boing Boing.

	Xenii	Xeni
Coordinates:	Ask Sergey	Ask JBat
Altitude:	100 feet above sea level	5'9" in heels
Posse:	Kweli, Foxx, Coolio	Cory, Pesco, Frau
Hardware:	(5) 2 x Technics SL-1200 MK6 prototype turntables (5) Rane 24-channel mixers 400,000 watts total	Gold-plated MacBook Pro Telefunken 768B Uniblogger Wireless Studio Diamond earring that doubles as bluetooth headset
Maximum Volume:	146 dB with sub-subwoofers engaged	The time Wired killed her cover story
Security System:	14 former Raiders linemen	The heels
Shuts Down:	5 AM	Never

The LA Times Infiltrates Xenii, Finds Exactly What You Might Expect

Mark — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 16:07:13 EDT

Perhaps inspired by Paula Abdul's alleged agent-inflicted attack at one of its recent events, the LAT ventures out to floating party Xenii (a mere seven months after the NY Times dropped by, but who's counting?) to see what all the cool kids are up to these days. For those too unfashionable to have heard of Xenii, it's an exclusive, semisecretive, members-only, Entourage-meets-Warhol's-Factory, traveling after-hours gathering where guys pay dues for the privilege of hanging around with beautiful women and celebrities without being stungunned by their bodyguards. Still not getting it? Here's a sample of what a man's $650 to $4,500 monthly membership gets him, courtesy of the Times:

Susan Blackman, a publicist and self-proclaimed "tastemaker" was not impressed by the males on view on a recent Saturday while enjoying cocktails in the cordoned-off VIP area at the Hollywood Ren-Mar Studios.
"There are no hot guys here," the 28-year-old said.

She and a girlfriend then recognized actor Michael Bellisario from the TV show "JAG," in a mesh trucker baseball cap, and rushed to talk to him.

Bellisario, 26, started coming to Xenii parties last June. He said he did not need to pay for membership because [co-owner Rob] Perry "wants Hollywood here. I spread the word."

The Times says that the media attention from the Abdul-related violence has some "in the club scene" wondering if the ten-month old party might be dangerously close to buzz-depleting overexposure, but we think the concept has legs: Unattractive, unconnected men in Hollywood with too much money have long been searching for a prostiution-free way to try and fuck actresses and models without having to go through the time and expense of becoming movie producers.

Gatsbies and the Wannabes [LAT]