It's a problem we've all experienced: a new beau's yacht is docked uncomfortably close to an ex's yacht. Even with a spacious deck and multiple bedrooms, parlors, and lounge spaces in the hull, everyone could be forced to wave to each other while sunning.

Prepare yourself for a yarn from the high seas that's so exciting and dangerous it makes Jaws look like fucking Babe. This maritime drama stars none other than Simon Cowell, a British man known mostly for being mean to amateur singers on musical game shows. The setting: Cowell's yacht off the coast of St. Tropez. Are…

Most reality shows pay their casts for their time and work. A new reality show about yachting, however, has come up with the ultimate gambit for casting eccentric rich people: To be a featured passenger on the show's yacht, you must pay $50,000 to charter the boat.

Hargrave Custom Yachts doesn't just make the best customized yachts we know of (disclaimer: it's the only customized yacht company we know of)—it also follows the zeitgeist like a Minnesota babysitter follows a porny plot-line. Hence its astute observation that in today's America, yachts are no longer mere luxuries…

British police seized some 1.3 tons of cocaine from a yacht named "Louise"—the largest coke haul in the country's history, and enough to last Prince Harry through at least 2017.

Media mogul Barry Diller has a $100 million, 300 foot-long ("I like 'em long." - Barry Diller) mega yacht that he's been keeping at the Chelsea Piers, at the cost of $2,000 a day.

And the party comes to an end: After losing an estimated $100 million/year in endorsements and another $100 million in his divorce settlement, Tiger Woods is selling his yacht. "Privacy," the 155-foot vessel Tiger reportedly used as a hideaway during the fallout from his cheating scandal, is on the market for $25…

Uncertain about the political upheaval in the Middle East, and what it might mean for the millions of people living under varying degrees of oppression? Hey, Stupid — get ahead of the curve, because there's some serious money to be made in the region right now, in the high-end yacht market! Skeptical? Then just ask…

Saddam Hussein's 269-foot yacht, Basra Breeze, which has been on the lam since the 1980s, is back in Iraq. Now the country's transportation minister, who enjoys using Saddam's toilet and sleeping in his bed, wants to make it a museum.

UPDATE: Tevfik Arif's lawyer has informed us that:

In a campaign season swelling with populism, where candidates try to out-folk each other and prove their anti-elitist credentials, having a symbol of extreme wealth as potent as a 145-foot yacht is already a liability.

Jeff Greene, the weird billionaire playboy who, for some reason, wants to be Florida's Democratic senator, owns a "party yacht" called Summerwind and employs a staff to maintain it. And the staff of Summerwind really, really hate Jeff Greene.

Paris Hilton on her summer plans: "I'm just going to be on a yacht. Summer must have? A yacht. I'm going to St. Tropez, Monaco." She continues, "No more McDonald's, In-N-Out done. Getting my bikini body." [Us, photo via X17]

You probably thought all of those Russian oligarchs were rotting in prison. Not Andrey Melnichenko, whose $300 million bomb-proof yacht will be obscenely hitting up the world's hottest beach spots this summer and spoiling less-rich men's vacations.

The Way We Live Now: Getting our gumption back. Money? There's plenty of ways to make money. Money! Shoot. We're already back to building outlandish yachts. Pay me a respectable banker wage or I'm outta here!

It seems like every day brings with it another apartment, boat, or car that the government is now auctioning off because its owner is either behind bars or about to head to prison any minute now. Today is no exception! The 112-foot yacht that belongs to accused fraudster "Sir" Allen Stanford is now up for sale. It's…

Vanity Fair's "New Establishment" list, an "annual ranking of the top 100 Information Age powers," appears on the web this time around, not in the actual magazine as in previous years. [Update: An abbreviated version appears in the October issue; the full list is online.] And while there are a few surprises to be…

Bernie Madoff's boat is up for sale. The 90-foot yacht, which is named "Bull" and was constructed in 2007, has been docked in Antibes, France ever since Madoff's assets were frozen. But now the administrators overseeing the liquidation of Madoff's investment firm have approved its sale. A British firm has the official…