A woman believed to be in her late teens or early twenties is being sought by police in York (England) in connection with an "unprovoked assault" on a 17-year-old girl inside a local McDonald's.

It's a rough month to be a racist civil service worker in New York.

Sorry, New York: none of you won the $640 jackpot. However, 10 New York City tickets — and 7 more in the state — are second-place winners. That prize is $250,000, which is still a lot of money, even if it doesn't look very impressive next to the biggest lottery prize in history.

The Occupy Wall Street protests continue into their fourth day of free pizza and anti-capitalism shenanigans. And the NYPD has come up with a weird way of cracking down—with an old law that outlaws masks at protests.

"You can't keep a good creative down," as the old saying goes. When pushed out of their community by covert gentrification, overt invasion, and other insidiousnesses, good creatives will simply move elsewhere and establish new, even more authentic communities. This is how the Land of NoBro came to pass.

It's wonderful that New York state passed gay marriage legislation, but now comes the really hard part: gay weddings. Yes, all that pent up wedding planning energy in the gay community is going to come flying out in one concussive burst, and here is the first set of grooms you're going to hate a little bit.

New York is full of actresses right now, some of them relaxing, others working. But all of them, as we've interpreted from these paparazzi photos, are thinking about Ashton Kutcher. First up is Natalie Portman who, while waiting for a cab, remembers what it was like filming No Strings Attached. [Splash]

America's most charmingly corrupt congressman, Harlem Rep. Charlie Rangel, has once again introduced symbolic legislation to reinstate the draft. So then joining the army would be something everyone has to do. Sort of like paying your taxes. Eh, Rangel? Eh?

Is there anything worse than a first date? It's as if a condemned man was forced to eat his last meal with some random girl his friend knows from grad school. But first dates are getting worse! They're getting quirkier.

South Asian gossip blogs have been a buzz recently over a racy Indian-themed New York Lotto commercial filmed over a decade ago.

The poor petless people who go to the city's dog runs to ogle other people's dogs (hence "dogle") are pretty sad. They're like old men in trenchcoats fondling themselves by a playground. It's just... Aw! Puppy! What were we saying?

Born into the Johnson & Johnson clan's billions, Casey Johnson was among the first celebutantes to decamp to Hollywood in search of 21C fame. She died alone in a crumbling Mulholland Drive mansion, her body undiscovered for days.

DJ AM took OxyContin the night he died. Spencer Pratt takes his absurdity to new levels. And Kate Hudson wants to take over A-Rod's apartment. All that and more in your Wednesday Gossip Roundup!

Fat: it's good for lewd and cruel jokes, but it's not so good for your health - including that of your brains. It eats them!

As if America's jobless weren't screwed enough — more employers are running credit checks on potential employees for jobs that involve no financial decisions, so you'd better pay your bills on time even if you don't have a job!

Recently we told you about a new book that claims Jackie Kennedy and brother-in-law Robert were engaged in a long-hidden affair. But just wait! There is an utter smackdown of the book and the man who wrote it.

Question: How can the children be the future of America when they, the children, yearn to be naked, and their liberal, Obama-loving parents allow them to run around with their little wee-wees and va-jay-jays hanging out all over the place?

Now that Mickey Rourke's date drama is resolved, our hopes for a spontaneous, surprising Oscars are all but dead. But in some parallel universe, viewers may yet get the awardscast we dream of:

There's no such thing as fun anymore. Remember that party priest who spent thousands on NYC bottle service? His shocked parish has bullied the Episcopal church into defrocking him.

Courageous Guest of a Guest blogger Doug braved the unthinkable this weekend: Jill Zarin's 4th of July party in the Hamptons. The Real Housewives of New York City star and her husband hold an annual backyard soirée at their landed estate, and Doug was (un)fortunate enough to receive an invitation. Everything just…