According to a trio of new studies released today, we may only be as old as our blood.

Once upon a time not so long ago, there was an idea: that some things in this world should be able to exist free from the influence of money—that these things should be done because of their own intrinsic value. You would be forgiven for scoffing at the notion that this idea was ever taken seriously at all.

You can now get a fine for sagging your pants in a Louisiana town after the town council voted 8-to-1 in favor of an ordinance Wednesday night that makes sagging illegal.

Researchers from Stanford University have finally discovered a use for all that young blood you've got lying around (just as it was about to turn, thank God): inject it into your bloodstream to become young and beautiful again. Or, anyway, slightly better at memory tasks.

Now that the American journalism establishment has been almost completely replaced by the Twitter account @depressionbook, how will the twenty or so Americans who care about politics receive their news about the presidential campaign? The answer: Babies.

Young people! Are you in an exclusive relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend or "droog" or whatever? Ha, well, actually, you're probably not: According to a new study, 40 percent of young couples have differing opinions about their exclusivity.

Marketing research firm Civic Science was forced to recalibrate its survey scoring system after finding that "millennials"—children born between the late 1970s and early 2000s—don't feel particularly strongly about anything. Not true! Want to know what millennials hate?

[Submit your own Gawker Stalker sightings to stalker@gawker.com] Feb. 7 @ 8:30pm Barbara Bush, Henry & Jenna, table of dudes and six waiters did a shot to Obama at Gradisca. What was the toast?

Our American kids love violence, especially when it comes in movie form. And the awesome violence of the PG-13 rated mega-super-ultra-blockbuster The Dark Knight is maybe the best movie violence ever! Loving, American parents appreciate that. But a wicked plot to deprive the little lads and lasses of funny little…

"Acting is all about a kind of self-expression. When you take on different roles and become different characters, you have to draw upon your own experiences ... On Gossip Girl, Jenny is just coming into her own. She's the sweet, nice, shy kid. In Paranoid Park, Jennifer is the popular girl... It was such a change for…

Welcome to the Gawker Locker Room: where maturity goes to die! Here your host and toastmaster Furious George will present a topic of discussion for open commentary, vigorous debate, and potential masturbatory purposes. Our topics will be diverse, random, juvenile, and vitally important. Either Melissa Joan Hart on …