Gawker: yuck

From The Cocksuckers At American Apparel

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:19:46 EDT

It must really kill Dov Charney not to be able to advertise his hipster robot clothes via hardcore porn movies starring himself and a bevy of 18-year-old Eastern European beauties recently unloaded from a shipping crate in the dead of night. So the pervy American Apparel CEO and hero to the downtrodden keeps edging as close to that vision as possible. His latest effort: a foreign ad featuring a model licking some dude's boxer shorts—and some believe the dude in them is Dov himself, based solely on the hairy legs. Full ad that will haunt you, below:

[via Copyranter]

How Vanity Fair "Groomed" Miley Cyrus

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 10:58:35 EDT

There's a technique called "grooming" that pedophiles use on their victims (yes, we just learned about it today, thank you). One definition says "Grooming behavior is intended to make the victim or potential victim or victim's guardians feel comfortable with the molester and even interested in interacting with him." And here's a characteristic of a regressed child molester: "They place pseudo-adult status on their victims and then view them as they would their peers." Now take a look at the following behind-the-scenes pictures from Vanity Fair's controversial new Miley Cyrus photo shoot by 58-year-old lesbian photographer Annie Leibovitz and ask yourself if any of that rings a bell. We're not accusing these stylists of being pedophiles, we're just saying... ugh:

[pics via Vanity Fair]

TAG Body Spray To Melt Rappers

Hamilton Nolan — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:11:51 EDT

News from last week that we unfortunately stumbled onto today, in a blow to our own personal tranquility: Atlanta hip hop mogul Jermaine Dupri is teaming up with the off-brand adolescent frat boy soaking potion TAG, maker of shitty body spray, to launch a hip hop record label. Its artists "will merge their music with brand marketing for TAG." Rage, exasperation, disgust, etc. [via Multicult Classics]

Which Fox News Employee Has Bedbugs?

Hamilton Nolan — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 11:16:19 EDT

How is Fox News supposed to bring the REAL news to the American mainstream when they are busy fighting off a bug infestation of the newsroom? If only we were making a metaphorical joke about the network's tendency to employ cockroaches. We're not! A liberal media outlet, the New York Times, reports that Fox News discovered an infestation of the dreaded, disgusting BEDBUGS a few weeks ago "when an employee 'caught a bug and showed it to us.'" YUCK. But Fox News employees get even nastier than that: One of them brought the bugs in!

But the source of the bugs was not determined until the exterminator inspected the homes of about 20 employees. Mr. Vandeveer said the exterminator later described one employee's home as having "the worst infestation he had seen in 25 years in the business."

The important question here is, of course, who had the infestation? We always thought Shep Smith looked like he slept in a pile of bloodsucking insects, but obviously there's no way for us to say authoritatively, short of spending the night with Shep Smith, which would require quite a good incentive. So we ask you: Which employee was it? Guesses in the comments, or email us with actual info.