When two St. Paul teens heard the door to their house open Saturday night, they were expecting their parents. Instead, they got a drunken zombie Santa Claus who had apparently lost his way and broken into the residence. As one does.

There's a pro-gun bill awaiting a vote in the Florida Senate right now. What's it do? Well, if one saucy senator gets his way, the name will say it all: "An act relating to the zombie apocalypse."

As far as "viral marketing" goes, this is pretty good. To promote its upcoming season, the Walking Dead dressed a bunch of actors as zombies and hid them under a sidewalk grate in Manhattan's Union Square so they could terrify unsuspecting pedestrians.

One-armed, no-legged teenager Nick Santonastasso loves the Walking Dead. He's also made a name for himself on the internet pulling zombie pranks on unsuspecting victims. So it made sense for Walking Dead producers to fly him to Tokyo—where the cast and crew was gathered for a press junket—so he could pull an excellent…

Family Feud is like those word association games in that the show forces you to respond so quickly to a random question that your kneejerk response may inadvertently reveal something about yourself that you'd rather keep hidden from a national audience.

In the olden days, it was common for mothers to say things such as, "Stop watching all that TV! Go read a book! Bah on Herbert Hoover!" Today's parents, though, could not care less about the fact that their zombie children are being raised exclusively by internet pornography websites, like this one.

A 19-year-old who stands accused of hijacking the semi-trailer truck of an acquaintance and crashing it into several vehicles along I-15 near Temecula, California, told Highway Patrol officers he "was being chased by zombies."

While politically-minded Americans were busy considering the social media ramifications of Marco Rubio's water sip and Ted Nugent's State of the Union seat placement, their neighbors to the north were debating more serious issues, like a potential zombie apocalypse.

An emergency alert interrupted Montana television viewers as they watched the Steve Wilkos Show Monday, and calmly informed them that "dead bodies are rising from their graves."

It wouldn't be a new year without some media-escalated moral panic over a new and potentially dangerous intoxicant. Except 2012's hazard, a synthetic and cheap legal chemical sold as "bath salts"—varying compositions of mephedrone, methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV), and methylone—did have some fairly harrowing…

Think your commute is rough?

The best way to get young people interested in emergency preparedness: zombies.

For whatever reason, August tends to be a big month for horror movies. This week finds three of them landing in theaters: Ole Bornedal's The Possession, Doug Aarniokoski's The Day and Pascal Laugier's The Tall Man. All seem like straightforward genre exercises at first glance; none actually are. They're fucked up.…

These two really, unbelievably gruesome photos, allegedly of the Miami man whose face was partially eaten off over Memorial Day weekend, have been circulating around the internet, because the sight of rended flesh is a visceral reminder of the unbearably thin dividing line between life and death, and also because…

For people whose job it is to turn unsuspecting suckers into corporate-advertising zombies, there's no better sight than a bunch of fresh-faced 18 year-olds moving boxes into a dorm room, ready to take on the world. Yeah, take on the world's debt. Don't forget your college-branded credit card and whatnot, suckers…

Usually we associate zombies with lame suburban pub crawls, but not today! Today is Zombie Flesh Mob Day, brought to you by the makers of Occupy Wall Street. The protesters have taken back "zombie" and given it to the people, to make a statement about corporations.

The undead are great and all, but haven't we had enough? Also today: some more ratings to help you understand where everything lies, and a what-to-watch suggestion for tonight.

Drinky ladies! Fewer smokers! Cheaper hospitals! Zombie mutants! Frozen athletes! Gay health! Cancer survivors! Pregnant painkillers! And you don't need no blood thinner girl, you look fine! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—relatively painlessly!