A Chinese man narrowly escaped a bloody death over the weekend after he leaped into a zoo's white tiger enclosure and attempted to get himself eaten. He was apprehended by zookeepers and escaped with only minor injuries.
Despite considerable protests, a Danish zoo has killed a two-year-old "surplus" giraffe called Marius, whose only crime was being in the wrong place (Copenhagen) at the wrong time (ever).
This strange and savage American winter has produced many oddities, and the appearance of Snowy Owls from the Arctic Circle has been the only delight in a season of ice and gloom. And then a Washington DC bus struck a beloved white owl a block away from the White House Rose Garden.
For those interested in a distraction from Miley and / or shutdown-related news, this video posted by the AP should do it. Sometimes bleating baby animals make it all better. According to the video's description:
Chinese state media is reporting that a horrifying attack at a zoo in Guiyang has resulted in a small child having at least one of his testicles torn off by a monkey.
And they would have gotten away with it too, if the dog hadn't started barking.
The saddest thing is a baby polar bear in Alaska waiting and waiting for his mom to come home, but the mom never comes home because a hunter killed her, for sport. And this will always be the saddest children's story, because now the lonesome motherless bear is condemned to live forever in a zoo, in Buffalo.
Under a nice Global Times headline, "World's oldest panda kicks bucket," we learn the sad news that Ming Ming, the world's oldest giant panda bear, died of old age at the Xiangjiang Wild Animal World in China on May 7. She was 34.
It's Thursday, so what better a time to show you a video of a gorilla walking upright like a man—and like a boss, naturally—while all of the other gorillas look on in jealousy? That's what I thought, y'all.
The selfish Obamas have completely dodged the press during their Hawaiian vacation, not even posing for one naked beach photo. But photographers finally intercepted them at the zoo today! Were they hiding in an animal's lair? You be the judge.
[People walk through the Smithsonian's National Zoo in Washington, D.C. Image via Getty]
Asshole zebra alert! Here's an angry little striped one at a zoo in Malacca cozying up to his rhino neighbor. And by "cozying up," I mean "bullying." Inside, watch Mister Zebra give Mister Rhino a hell of a bad time.
Today, a video of a panda gettin' his groove on circulated online. The only problem with it? The videographer's annoying narration. Well, problem solved: here's your Partytime Panda/Antoine Dodson "Bed Intruder Song" mashup. I dare you not to love this.
The animal kingdom never ceases to amaze us with its majesty, splendor, unpredictability... oh, yeah—and horniness. Sometimes, all you can say is "Wow," and that's exactly what this turtle does—repeatedly, and enthusiastically—during sex with his boo. Video inside.
Kids always want to grow up to be veterinarians, to play with all creatures great and small forever. That dream ends now thanks to Weird, True, and Freaky, which showed just how terrifying a day at the zoo can be.
With the Facebook Fugitive back in jail, what runaway rapscallion should we cheer for next? How about this two-ton hippopotamus, which escaped from a zoo and now wanders Montenegro with a pair of armed bodyguards.
After leaping over a fence at D.C.'s National Zoo, a small deer evaded capture by two hungry lions, drawing elated cheers and joyous tears from hundreds of onlookers. And then, they read the tale's horrible conclusion in today's Washington Post.
