Below we evaluate the field and try to make sense of this all-important contest. Whose name are tomorrow's independent book store clerks going to scribble with little hearts around on in their mock-elementary school notepads?

The critical attributes: anemic complexion and disposition; fixed expression of terror at the big, scary world; credible devotion to obscure bands; still owns and fits into his childhood summer camp warddrobe. Past work with Kristen Stewart or Zooey Deschanel vital. Stutter strongly encouraged.

Candidates who were initially child stars have the strong advantage of being raised in hothouse environment which enforces stunted emotional development, like Catalina Island buffalo.

The Contenders:

Joseph Gordon Levitt
Strengths: Looks as though he has been protected from sunlight since birth. Had small role in hipster ironic landmark Family Ties. Appeared in two classics of hoodie cinema — Brick and 500 Days of Summer. In the latter, had a relationship with a girl based on their common love of The Smiths. Went to Columbia University where he studied French Poetry. Maintains a website on which he features short films.
Weaknesses: Also appeared in 3rd Rock From the Sun which is decidedly not part of the ironic canon. Didn't ever wear a hoodie in 500 Days.
Kristen or Zooey: Zooey in 500 Days.
The Morning Line: On paper, this kid has it all. Would be a serious contender for the title even if Cera were still at his height. The only question is has he peaked and revealed too many hipster credentials too fast?

Jesse Eisenberg
Strengths: Has perfected world class look of terror and befuddled amazement. Mother was a clown. Did entire film in 80's garb. Appeared in indie films while still very young.
Weaknesses: Despite perpetually adolescent jew-fro, mature range of expression is upsettingly evocative of burgeoning adulthood.
Kristen or Zooey: Kristen in Adventureland.
The Morning Line: A strong contender; making an 80's period piece was an inspired play to the hoodie base the importance of which can not be underestimated. However, outbreaks of adulthood can not be ignored and ultimately may prove crippling.

Emile Hirsch
Strengths: Mother designed pop-up books. Specializes in playing intense and offbeat dreamers. Learned how to skateboard for Lords of Dogtown.
Weaknesses: Cleans up a bit too well, as demonstrated in Speed Racer. Conventionally not quirkily handsome. Tends towards athletic, active characters.
Kristen or Zooey: Kristin in Into the Wild.
The Morning Line; Has some strong off-beat appeal but ultimately might have soaked up a bit too much California sunshine in his Malibu youth to effectively represent Hoodie Nation.

Jon Foster
Strengths: Hippie parents. Steady run of indie films. Broke into public view in a landmark young-man-confused-and-frightened-by-sex role in The Door in the Floor. Has experimented with alternative facial hair.
Weaknesses: About to go into the least hoodie realm in entertainment — CBS primetime sitcom land.
Kristen or Zooey: Neither, but appeared in The Informers with America's Ur-hoodette Winona Ryder.
The Morning Line: A long shot candidate, but if the front-runners falter, has some indie credibility.

Robert Pattinson
Strengths: British. No one does silently suffering better. Plays guitar.
Weaknesses: Way way too good looking.
Kristen or Zooey: Owns the Kristen franchise.
The Morning Line: Naming Pattinson Tweeheart would essentially be like the Republicans nominating Dennis Kucinich, but with a candidate this strong, stranger things have happened in politics. If Hoodie Nation feels itself in danger, it may be willing to take some extraordinary risks.

Jason Schwartzman
Strengths: A Tweeheart Emeritus, in the event of a deadlock, could come out of retirement to serve one more term.
Weaknesses: In Funny People made a fatal change in type from mopey guy to annoying roommate — a hard role to position yourself as a heart-throb.
Kristen or Zooey: Neither but appeared a short feature with Natalie, which is kinda the same.
The Morning Line: America loves a comeback, but in the end being the Tweeheart is a young man/boy's game.

And most of all we wish good luck to the hoodied girls of America who will make this fateful choice. Our future is in your hand.

• Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are so boning! They're working on a movie together, some impossibly dumb romantic comedy, and they've been spotted off-camera walking with their arms around each other! Like we said, they are boning hard on the regular, no doubt. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• The LAPD arrived at Mischa Barton's West Hollywood apartment and removed her from the premises because she was having a "medical issue." [Sun]
  
  
• Jon Gosselin's new girlfriend is a "party animal" with a "racy lesbian past," which probably means she got wasted and made out with girls in front of boys in rural Midwestern bars, just like every other girl her age. But whatever. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• After a ten year engagement, 72 year-old Robert Redford finally tied the knot with his fiancee, Sibylle Szaggars. [Page Six]
  
  
• Michael Jackson's legs were riddled with gaping wounds resulting from the many injections and intravenous lines he had going into them. Who the hell puts an IV into the leg? Anyway, the pictures of Jackson's legs are freaking gross. You've been warned. [Daily Mail]
  
  
• Another fairy tale romance bites the dust as Amy Winehouse and Blake Fielder-Civil file for divorce in London. So there you go fellas—AWine is back on the market! [Mirror]
  
  
• Zooey Deschanel likes to slather herself up with sunscreen because she like the way that it makes her smell. [Gatecrasher]
  
  
• Kylie Minogue got pissed at her boyfriend the other night for making her wait in line for a drink in a bar or something so she slapped him across the face. [Page Six]
  
  
• According to the Sun, Madonna is afflicted with something called "bingo wings," which is apparently British slang for the droopy skin that hangs from a woman's upper arms. So much for those Tracy Anderson workouts, eh? [Sun]
  
  
• The Hoff and Lady Gaga were spotted partying together in London on Tuesday night. Need we even say anything more? [Mirror]

Hm. Noted crazy Mel Gibson will star in the film The Beaver for noted lesbian Jodie Foster, who will direct and co-star. The film, once thought to be a project for Steve Carell, is about a man who finds comfort in a beaver hand puppet. So it'll be a cheapish quirky indie type affair, although it will star one of the most vociferously strange movie stars of the past twenty years. Could be great! Could be awful. [Variety]

The Green Lantern is nearing the end of its major casting process, mulling over three actors for the lead role of a hotshot Air Force pilot who meets a dying alien and gets deputized into a space police department. (That is an actual plot of a movie. And a comic book!) Warner Brothers is trying to decide between Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds, and Justin Timberlake, of all people, but is apparently having some trouble reconciling their favorite with the director's. So we'll either get a kind of boring Green Lanternt, a wise-cracking kind of annoying Green Lantern, or a singin' dancin' Green Lantern. None of which sound terribly thrilling. [THR]

The Minnie Driver/Uma Thurman comedy Motherhood, which premiered at Sundance this year, has set an October release date. The movie is about a crazed mommy trying to plan a birthday party for her daughter while the crazy city world provides obstacles along the way. Obstacles like Isn't This Basically the Plot of Jingle All the Way and Uma Thurman Is Never Funny. [Variety]

Quirky comedy queen Zooey Deschanel has signed on to play James Franco's love interest in the David Gordon Green comedy Your Highness, about a lazy prince (Danny McBride) who must go on a quest to save his kingdom. Other than the fact that Natalie Portman plays McBride's wildly disproportionate love interest, this film is weird because it looks as though Gordon Green really is going down this broad comedy route. Will we ever get a George Washington, All the Real Girls, or Snow Angels again? [THR]

Nicole Kidman will star in and produce a movie version of the book Little Bee, about a wealthy British couple who has an encounter with a Nigerian orphan while on an African vacation. No word yet on whether Jerry Seinfeld will voice the orphan character. [Variety]

Everwood surly teen Gregory Smith has joined the cast of that Canadian Grey's Anatomy-with-badges police drama Copper that will air on ABC in the States. Treat Williams is wondering if maybe there's a part for a tough-but-principled chief or something. [THR]

Ugh. Shoulda-been-gone-by-now Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder has landed a Comedy Central sitcom. It's about a laid-off IT worker who leaves his urban life to return home to the small town where he grew up. Which has been the idea for basically everything these days. In a nifty little distribution deal, if the sitcom's first batch of episodes do well, an automatic 90 more will be ordered. Yeesh. [Variety]

Movie stars steal theater folks' roles again! Though Cynthia Nixon and John Slattery played the roles in the well-reviewed Broadway production, square-jawed Aaron Eckhart and bugle-lipped Nicole Kidman will be starring in the film adaptation of David Lindsay-Abaire's play about a dead kid, Rabbit Hole. Oddly, John Cameron Mitchell, of Hedwig fame, will helm. The theateriest movie news ever! [Variety] And speaking of Sex and the City people, Warner Bros. and New Line have finally set a date for the big SATC movie sequel. Set your lipgloss to stun and mark your pink martini calendars, because on May 28, 2010... your sequined dreams will be realized once more. The story of grief and loss and life changes as the three gals make the tough decision to put Samantha in a home is sure to be a crowd pleaser. [Variety]

That twee-looking little indie movie about hipsters and babies and stuff, Gigantic, starring Zooey Bechamel, Paul Dano, and John Goodman, has won the top prize at the AFI Dallas International Film Festival. So, it must be good! [Variety] Meanwhile, in bizarro land, Julian Schnabel and Patton Oswalt have won awards at the same festival. [Variety]

Showtime has picked up two new series. They'll likely run with the comedy Ronna & Beverly, about two middle aged Jewish ladies in Boston (!!), and the Tim Robbins-produced drama Possible Side Effects, starring Josh Lucas. Sadly for someone probably, they've passed on the Matthew Perry series End of Steve. [Variety] More cable bad news: the season two finale of FX series Damages was down 32% from last year in the ol' ratings department. Though, a third season has already been ordered, so no worries. [THR]

The terrific Rosemarie DeWitt is joining the cast of John Wells' Company Man, alongside Chris Cooper, Kevin Costner, Tommy Lee Jones, and Ben Affleck. They're filming in Boston, so I'm gonna have to run home and gawp at them like a regular weirdo or something. [THR] Amaury Nolasco, from Prison Break, has been cast in the Hunter S. Thompson adaptation The Rum Diary, starring Johnny Depp. It's filming in Puerto Rico, so if you're there, go and gawp like a standard strange-o. [THR]

One of the many perks of living in countries like Slovakia, Romania, and the Czech Republic? You get to watch the precious premium cabler the MGM Channel. Well now those of you in jealous Slovenia can relax. They've finally brought the network to you too. So good. All is well in Central and Eastern Europe. [Variety]

What say we lighten the mood and swing into a productive 2009 with some box office numbers?

1. Marley & Me - $24.1 million
In what will certainly go down as the Holocaustiest holiday movie season in history, it was the story of a disobedient Golden Lab with no known ties to the Nazi party that again managed to capture America's hearts. With an 11-day total of $107 million, Marley is well on track to becoming the Highest Grossing Live-Action Dog Movie of all Time, rocketing past previous record holders like 1972's Lassie Tangos in Paris and Richard Attenborough's 1982 masterpiece, Benjhi.

2. Bedtime Stories - $20.3 million
We finally have some clue as to what co-star Keri Russell was talking about on a recent Late Night with Conan O'Brien appearance, as this mostly family-friendly offering does feature one disturbing sequence in which the actress is spirited away from a campfire by a Benjamin Buttonesque goblin-manchild.

3. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - $18.4 million
We think we know what would have made Button work better: having Brad Pitt in one outfit throughout his remarkable transformation. Think about how much more you would have been invested in the journey had the film been book-ended by baby-sized Button swaddled in the adult tuxedo and top hat he eventually grows into somewhere around the two-hour mark.

4. Valkyrie - $14 million
Valkyrie is the rare Hitler-hunting movie that rewards repeat-viewings, as director Bryan Singer has loaded his film with dozens of easter eggs just waiting to be discovered by WWII buffs. For example, in the suitcase-bomb rigging scene, if you look on the bookshelf behind Col. von Stauffenberg, you'll notice a copy of "Ein Sehr Hitler Weihnachten" ("A Very Hitler Christmas"), the Fuhrer's little-known, disastrous attempt at invading the holiday album market.

5. Yes Man - $13.9 million
We'd be happier for star Zooey Deschanel and Death Cab For Cutie's Ben Gibbard engagement had we no suspicions that the entire thing was just an elaborate promotional stunt, set to climax with the words "Yes Man, I Do" at the couple's DVD-release-themed wedding.

• January 2–4, 2009 [Box Office Mojo]

Serial Manson-fucker Evan Rachel Wood.

Breakout Addams and occasional Black Snake Moaner, Christina Ricci.

Happening torch singer, Zooey Deschanel.

Firestarting Hellboy sidekick and Kath & Kim casualty, Selma Blair.

10. Tom Cruise, Top Gun

9. Renee Zellwegger, Chicago

8. Keira Knightley, Edge Of Love

7. Nicole Kidman, Moulin Rouge

6. Rupert Everett, My Best Friend's Wedding

5. Diane Keaton, Radio Days

4. Scarlett Johansson, Lost In Translation

3. Gwyneth Paltrow, Infamous

2. Zooey Deschanel, Elf

1. Heath Ledger, 10 Things I Hate About You

• Kate Hudson Joins Cast of Movie Musical Nine [People]

In today's installment: Britney Spears, Jeremy Piven, Paris Hilton, Vince Vaughn, Jack Black, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Luke Wilson, David Beckham, Dennis Hopper, Gwen Stefani, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeff Goldblum, Zooey Deschanel, Rainn Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Judy Greer, Phil Spector, Kevin Federline, Morgan Spurlock, Kristen Chenoweth, Judy Greer, Cloris Leachman, John Slattery, Emma Stone, Bijou Philips, Jane Lynch, Dean Cain, John Corbett, Paul Scheer, and more.

SATURDAY, MAY 24
While surrounded by Brody Jenner-looking date
rapists at Happy Endings, I spotted a welcomed sight: Seth Morris, Owen Burke, and Paul Scheer. Joined by a bunch of other UCB comic types upstairs in the corner and looking almost as out of place as me.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4
Saw Cloris Leachman at the Aqua Lounge watching Jeff Goldblum and his band play some jazz standards. Jeff's pretty talented on the keyboard, but the group as a whole made me feel like I was at someone's wedding.

Wednesday afternoon, my friend and I are having our usually mid-week lunch time phone conversation. In mid-conversation he gasps and tells me that he is at Chipotle in BH and David Beckham has just walked in. No f''ing way! David F'ing Beckham in Chipotle! BTW - what's up with that family and Mexican food? Just wish I could get shot in person of David's burrito! hehe

FRIDAY, JUNE 6
Vince Vaughn at the Greek Theatre for A Prairie Home Companion on June 6. Thinking he's a Garrison Keillor fan definitely makes me like him a little more.

Driving on Ledgewood in Hollywoodland today, I saw Phil Spector driving a Mercedes convertible, wearing that crazy giant curly fright wig he dropped in favor of the lesbian pageboy thing he wore in court. He wears it while driving a convertible! How the hell do you bolt that on?

Cuba Gooding Jr. with 2 friends eating sushi at Hana Sushi in Brentwood. He was a lot smaller than I thought he would be and was definately enjoying his wine. He was nice to everyone that came up and talked with him. He was abnormally excited about going to Q's (the pool bar next door). Oh wait, it was beer pong night. I'd be excited too!

SUNDAY, JUNE 8
Judy Greer (aka Kitty from Arrested Development) spotted Friday night at St Nick's Pub on 3rd st, sitting in a booth with friends. Had to stop myself from making a George Bluth reference.

MONDAY, JUNE 9
I love the show Mad Men, so what a thrill to spot Sterling Cooper honcho John Slattery getting his caffeine on at the Starbucks on Main Street in Santa Monica.

TUESDAY, JUNE 10
Former TV Superman Dean Cain swooping down into Beverly Hills for some shopping at Tom's Toys on Beverly Drive.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12
Saw John Corbett at LAX on Thursday. T-shirt, jeans, boots, with tinted Ray-Bans at the Hudson Books. Tall with a paunch that looks just right on him. Looks like a very hip carpenter. No one seemed to notice him even though he's a pretty big dude.

At the Palms in Vegas for a little work and a little fun, CineVegas is happening. I caught the opening night film, The Rocker, and went to the after party at Moon and the cast was there. Emma Stone is stunning in person, her waist is teeny and her skin is all Hollywood teen glow, she was hanging out with who I think was her mom. Jane Lynch was in a cool 50's style dress with pockets, lady is tall and very animated when she talks. Open bar here is a dangerous thing.

I was having dinner at the Mel's on Sunset Blvd. across from Ketchup. As me and my boyfriend got up to leave, I heard an easily recognizable voice. I look down and sitting at a booth with a couple of her friends was the star of Broadway's Wicked and ABC's Pushing Daisies, Kristin Chenoweth. She looked adorable as ever!

FRIDAY, JUNE 13
Around 8 am, I passed the front desk at The Palms and saw Dennis Hopper talking to who I assume was his assistant. He looks good for an older guy, white hair, sharply dressed, short and holding onto a bottle of water. I then head to the elevator and walk past Rainn Wilson in red wayfarers and a golf shirt, he's tall and funny looking, the same as one would imagine. Seemed like he had a long night and was asking where the Coffee Bean was. Later in the day, Bill Pullman came through the casino in a navy blazer, he stopped and took photos with people. There was a CineVegas anniversary party at the Palms Place pool. Hopper, George Maloof and tons of people were there including some guy with a cat perched on his shoulder and Britney Spears. She was seated in a cabana with a velvet rope in front of it where two HUGE security guys minded her and a few friends. She was in a black cocktail dress and sat sipping her drink and was surprisingly pretty. The fake tan didn't look so fake and she looked like she had been styled for the night. I wouldn't have noticed her had it not been for the rope. The whole thing was weird. Like walking past a diorama in the Natural History Museum...The Britney Exhibit. She sat watching the party happen and the party peered at her like she was some kind endangered species....and of course, Prince Paul kept interrupting his set to play her music. Tres surreal.

Jeremy Piven looking very chubby at Zen Zoo, on Vine.

Lunchtime in Beverly Hills near the Chipotle, I THINK I saw Jack Black coming down the sidewalk. He was carrying a bag of fast food, unlike other Bev Hills denizens, who carry bags of ugly empire-waisted dresses. I wasn't super certain it was him...but then I saw that belly, that belly that practically got second billing on Nacho Libre. I hope it was him as I said "Hello, awesome!" as we passed each other on the sidewalk. If it was just another chubby dude, then THAT was terribly embarrassing...

Luke Wilson looking extremely hot at my local pavillion supermarket in Santa Monica. Drove off in his illegally tinted silver porsche and while at the red light, kept raising and lowering his window like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be noticed. Looking very sexy tho.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14
Britney at Palms Place in Vegas. There with one of her enablers and a Russian bodyguard. She was chain smoking cigarettes and eating chicken fingers as she sat by the pool. It's true — she's all class.

Saw Giovanni Ribisi at the carwash on Vermont and Prospect. He smoked a cigarette and read a script while he waited for his car. He kept to himself and was completely unassuming so much so I almost feel guilty sending in this sighting. I wasn't able to see what type of car he drives as my car was finished before his.

At the valet stand at Planet Hollywood, I waited for my keys and looked to my left, there standing beside me was Kevin Federline. He's a little guy, wearing his requisite white t-shirt and baggy shorts. Wasn't impressed. Probably not a coincidence that Britney is in town too. Later that night at the Palms, I saw Bijou Philips perform at another CineVegas party. She sang for a little while and hung out by the pool, her voice wasn't half bad. Spotted Traci Lords waiting for an elevator in stilettos and a tight black dress, she has aged insanely well.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15
In Planet Hollywood, I saw Dwayne Johnson tan, lean and HOT coming down the main escalator going to a screening of Get Smart. He's tall and surprisingly good looking, not bulky or wrestler-esque. He stopped and signed autographs in the casino and had a seriously huge entourage.

Back at the Palms, I saw a sunburned Morgan Spurlock by the pool, handlebar moustache in full effect. Passed by Beastie Boy MCA (Adam Yauch) on the casino floor.

MONDAY, JUNE 16
I saw Vincent Kartheiser of Mad Men on the Continental redeye from Newark to LAX. He was dressed just like Pete Campbell in a brown suit and vintage skinny tie, and bopping around the terminal to whatever was on his iPod. Staying in his character's groove I guess, he was only slightly more subdued once on board (first class of course). Much better looking in person than on the show, but an occasional burger wouldn't kill him - the guy is rail thin.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18
Last night I saw doe-eyed indie goddess/ingenue Zooey Deschanel at the Rilo Kiley Show at the Greek. Looked absolutely stunning (and happy), wearing a gorgeous green dress.

THURSDAY, JUNE 19
As we were leaving Juvenex Spa in Manhattan at 9pm, Paris Hilton was just coming in. She was all dressed up and decked out. I guess with the stress of being Paris she needed a massage.

Saw Gwen Stefani and family (including her dad) enjoying dinner at Buddha's Belly on Beverly last night (6/19). Aside from the few annoying paparazzi outside, they were pretty much left alone. Gwen looked gorgeous without all of that caked on makeup!

The only big observation I would add to the earlier review it is that The Happening doesn't deserve as many words as the tipster gave to it. The film fails in every respect, but it's also really, really boring. The conflict follows such a simple outline and the plot structure dissipates after a few minutes, and you're left with a bunch of people on the road fleeing an invisible force for the rest of the running time: Little Miss Sunshine as a horror film. It's bad, but not even ambitious enough for viewers to enjoy the stinking muck.

Yikes. More spoilerrific details, including background on Shyamalan's First! Ever! R-rating! after the jump.

The Happening is all concept and no execution. You can see the ideas that gave rise to the film, but there's no film there. Mark Wahlberg is a science teacher grappling with some... science-y disaster. Wahlberg and wife Zooey Deschanel have to overcome their marital problems in order to stay alive. Blah blah. They get scared, head to the field, join with other survivors and run, run, run. There is so much running. They're scared, but they don't know what scares them. This is standard Shyamalan turf, but none of his past films have felt this bland

Even the suicides, which earn the film its R-rating, feel strangely uninspired. The sight of people jumping from buildings or shooting themselves are predictable and thus not frightening. One exception: A great long shot of a car crash that's followed by another horrendous act done in such a cool-headed manner that it truly chilled me.

But that's one good shot. It's padded by the shallow melodrama of Wahlberg and Deschanel's characters, and Shyamalan's cheap use of heavy violence presumably for no other reason beyond making the audience go, "What the fuck?" I'm mainly referring to a scene involving child death, but really, the whole movie is like one big WTF. If you've heard the line from the trailer, "There appears to be an event happening," then you've heard it all. And you've heard enough.

Maybe the real twist here is that the movie doesn't actually open on Friday, but just continues to exist in a world of inverse hype. Anyone else got a better idea?

• 'The Happening' [Fox]

"It never really worked," argues David Weitzner, the former head of worldwide marketing for Universal and an adjunct professor at the School of Cinematic Arts at the University of Southern California. "It's pomposity on the part of studios to think that the public is going to respond to an advertising message that says to see the film because it's from the director of another film. It's stupid and to some degree, it's fueled by ego." ...

Mr. Shyamalan, who will get his name above the title for The Happening, still believes that a director's name on the marquee — one that is not Steven Spielberg's — can sell a blockbuster as easily as a star's can.

"The problem is the assumption that if I am selling the movie — because I'm selling me — that I'm being egotistical. If Will Smith did the same thing, it would be perceived very differently," he said. "You're supposed to be hidden if you're a director. That's a rule that who said in the movie business?"

Manoj, Manoj, Manoj. Seriously — have your lawyer add a clue to that pricey contract rider of yours. No one cares about your ego, just your tone-deafness: Recent tracking has The Happening distantly trailing The Incredible Hulk among June 13 openings, with only 54% of survey respondents noting Awareness of the film and a genuinely tragic 2% acknowledging Un-Aided Awareness. In other words, it's conceivable that maybe "Oscar-nominee Mark Wahlberg" and Zooey Deschanel have greater name value among The Happening's target demo than "M. Night Shymalan." We're just saying.

But that beingsaid, there is no truth to the death-knell rumors that The Happening won't screen for critics; we're told the studio is putting the film out there June 10 — two days after its planned junket and not in time for weekly critics' deadlines. We'll be there, naturally, hoping all the while his newfound press-shyness doesn't take; we kind of just want to take the poor bastard out for a drink.

UPDATE: A Fox spokesman sends word that press will have the opportunity to view The Happening during the junket on June 8-9. Hooray.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Shyamalan's Hollywood Horror Story, With Twist [NYT]
• 'Hulk' Set to Stomp Shyamalan's 'Happening' [Fantasy Moguls]

· AMC series Breaking Bad, about what happens when Malcolm's father has to start manufacturing and dealing meth just to put food on Lois's table, gets a second-season pickup. [Variety]
· Oscars-host-montage snubbee Whoopi Goldberg will preside over the Tonys, as CBS attempts to break a broadcast world record by earning a Nielsen rating of "true zero," or not a single home viewer. Best of luck to them. [Variety]
· Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel have signed on for 500 Days of Summer, an "an anti-romantic comedy" from Fox Searchlight. We're looking forward to seeing these two get it on. [THR]