Marissa "I'm a human, honest" Mayer finally relented and gave an interview to BusinessWeek. Not counting the other ones.) This month's puff piece lists the Google VP's daily schedule. Let's take a look.

8:00 a.m. Wake-up, get ready for work

Okay, that should get her out the door at about 9 and into work around 9:30, right?

9:00 a.m. Arrive at work,

— what? —

take conference call about a new technology

"A new technology"? The whole "inside look" schtick breaks down when BusinessWeek protects Google's trade secrets.

10:00 a.m. Meeting with Udi Manber, VP of engineering to discuss search, engineering staffing, etc.

For "etc." read "what year it'll be Udi's turn to hog all the press."

10:30 a.m. Meet with Associate Product Managers to brief and prepare for upcoming international business trip

"For the trip, I need all red-eye flights, so I can recharge my batteries on the plane. I, um, meant 'recharge' as a metaphor for sleep. Yes. I'm a human."

Lunch is for suckers. Seventeen hours to go, after the jump.

12:00 noon Product review with Larry and Sergey; review product direction and strategy and potential future collaborations

"First we collaborate with the Chinese. Then let's collaborate with North Korea. We'll leave collaborating with the Nazis to Yahoo."

1:00 p.m. UI (User Interface) review to review/approve user interface designs/changes for multiple products

Google UI background: General UI professional consensus is, Google sucks at UI. (Personally, the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button makes up for everything.)

3:00 p.m. Meet with a new member of my team to welcome him and discuss career goals/trajectory

"No, your goal can't be to have my job in two years. Because I want my job in two years."

3:30 p.m. Meeting with Google Video product manager

For coffee, actually — that manager's just chilling until YouTube tanks and the market belongs to Google again.

4:00 p.m. Google Product Strategy meeting with Eric, Larry, Sergey, and other executives to go over weekly site traffic and a few special topics

This week, the team tries an innovative strategy — instead of giving Eric legos to play with during the meeting, they give him Tinker Toys. He builds an elephant with wheels.

5:00 p.m. Executive strategy meeting on Google China

"Can we do this?" "No." "How about this?" "No." "And this?" "They cut a man's feet off for trying that." "Gross." "Don't worry, if you search for it, it's censored."

6:00 p.m. Office Hours

The much-vaunted "open office" for engineers, where bringing brownies increases a project's chance of approval by 50%.

8:30 p.m. Catch up on the day's e-mail

To: Mom
From: Marissa
Re: The only time I see you is in BusinessWeek
Message: Not true. You saw me in Fortune this spring.

11:15 p.m. Visit to the Google Gym to run

Best place to work off the extra high from the rare Peruvian needle drugs.

12:00 p.m. Go home

Actually, BusinessWeek, that's a.m., but it's so bizarre we can forgive you for messing it up.

12:30 a.m. Watch TV, do e-mail

Marissa has her TV specially compressed to 4 minutes per show. It's amazing what she can still process. Well, it would be amazing, if she were human.

3:00 a.m. Go to bed

Oh sure, like you don't maintain a high-energy work lifestyle on 5 hours of sleep a night.

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