NICK DOUGLAS — Why even bother recapping the Wall Street Journal's latest profile of Mark Zuckerberg? Andy Kessler's profile of the Facebook founder (published with the embarrassingly Matthew-Perry-esque illo shown here) is a parody of itself, really, like a Mad Lib built from all the other silly profiles of him and his site. In fact, the only surprising thing about this profile is the handful of requisite look-how-kooky-he-is details that the paper didn't include. Below, what the Journal caught this time around ("Facebook is big! All the kids! Big!") and what it missed ("I'm CEO, bitch!"):

Got it

• They wear t-shirts at Facebook!
• They turned down Yahoo's $1 million offer!
• Mark is 22! Also, note that he is 22! And he employs people!
• Jolt soda! Nerf guns! Other products that actually may not have been in production since '94!
• It spread organically, people! He told his friends and it spread!
• Please note that his friend is one year older than his age of 22!
• Facebook is big! All the kids! Big!
• Wisdom of crowds!
• Facebook groups! Sometimes they are silly!
• It's not MySpace! Ha! Ha!
• The attention has not affected him and he is still just doing this for all of us, guys! Yay Mark!
• Newsfeed! Pretty cool idea!
• Some people complained about a thing and Facebook didn't shut them down! Wow! Web 2.0! Wisdom of crowds!
• Flip-flops! He wears them! This is unheard of among college-age boys!
• Hotties!

Missed it

• I'm CEO, bitch! It's on his card! (Fortune)
• Golden Retriever in the office! (Ibid.)
• Sandals! [Note to those over 30: They're different than flip-flops, bitch. — Ed.] (Rolling Stone)
• Blazer and blue jeans! And $#%!@#$%@#$ FLIP FLOPS OH MY GOD HAS THERE EVER BEEN SUCH A BOLD STATEMENT!!!!!111one (New York Times)

Nick Douglas writes for Valleywag, Blogebrity, and Look Shiny. He is 22. Flip-flops are for frat boys.

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