It’s been a rough night for Ted Cruz. Across the state of New York, he’s almost guaranteed to come in last place of the three remaining candidates. And in at least one district in Westchester, Ted Cruz coming in last of the remaining candidates and someone who isn’t even running anymore.
That’s right, a hearty congratulations to Dr. Ben “Gifted Hands” Carson. We knew you’d come in handy for something.
I’d like to personally thank New York’s 16th district for this beautiful gift, but I also have some questions. Namely, why are you voting for a candidate you (hopefully) know isn’t actually a candidate anymore? Does Ben Carson actually have a dedicated following? Do you know who Ben Carson is? And what has soup ever done to you?
Of course, the important thing to remember is that, tonight, Ted Cruz effectively lost to a man in a coma who wasn’t even competing in the first place.
Perhaps there’s still some good in this world yet.