If there’s one thing teens love, it’s pouring household products into their orifices to get high. But if there are two things teens love, the second one is almost definitely ISIS. At least—that’s what they think. But as it turns out, jihad is a real drag, and our lazy teens just can’t cut it.
Take 16-year-old Marlin Stivani Nivarlain from Sweden, for instance. Nivarlain had run away with her boyfriend to join ISIS last May, but as she recently explained to a Kurdish television station, she hadn’t realized what exactly it was she was getting herself into: “First it was good together, but then he started to look at ISIS videos and speak about them and stuff like that. Then he said he wanted to go to ISIS, and I said ‘OK, no problem’, because I did not know what ISIS meant or what Islam was—nothing.”
What’s more, Nivarlain was pregnant when the couple crossed into Syria before finally being given a house in the ISIS-controlled Iraqi city of Mosul. The house, however, offered neither electricity nor running water—a marked departure from her previous way of life:
In Sweden we have everything, and when I was there, I did not have anything,” she said in the interview, looking relaxed and healthy. I did not have any money either - it was a really hard life. When I had a phone I started to contact my mum and I said: “I want to go home.”
So, boys and girls, what did we learn today? ISIS: Not as fun as it seems!
And parents, do you know where your teen is? If not, the answer is still probably “ISIS.”