Looks like we all got it all wrong again: that Ohio State fan whose spot was blown the hell up for allegedly fondling her side-action live on ESPN? That's her boyfriend, who she probably loves more than anything in your life.

Is it a criminal act to show affection in public? You'd think so, based on some of the sick, parasitic blogging we've found today on lesser sites.

But a well-connected (in Ohio) Gawker reader who knows the mystery fan sent us a screenshot of her Facebook wall—and pointed us to this specific status:

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We're still not sure why she withdrew her scratching hand. (Though we'd still love to talk! You can email me at biddle@gawker.com.) The rest of you owe her an apology, and Jesus Christ, man, smile when your girlfriend is trying to do something nice on your dome.