Never content to rest on their laurels, it appears that the Associated Press has put the final, Strunk & White approved flourishes on their obituary for pop princess Britney Spears. No, you didn't miss anything — Britney is still alive. Usmagazine.com spoke with AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington, who calmly and objectively asserted that if Britney were to pass away, it would be "easily one of the biggest stories in a long time." You can't put one by that Jesse Washington cat! We applaud both him and his organization for their ghoulish resourcefulness. [USMagazine.com]