The Broke European Countries Aren't Having Babies

Goofus—the European countries that spent like drunken sailors and then saw everything evaporate in the recession— is so depressed he can't even get around to having a baby. But Gallant— the countries that were relative models of fiscal rectitude— has no trouble making babies, if you know what we mean.

That is a somewhat simplified distillation of a new population study out of Europe, where the unborn babies are wise enough to pop out in the countries where they might have a chance at landing a fucking job one day. From the Financial Times:

A striking report that has just emerged from Eurostat, the European statistical agency, shows that a subtle gap has emerged in the fertility trajectory of different European countries during the past couple of decades. In regions such as Spain and Italy, fertility rates have declined sharply since the 1970s (albeit from relatively high postwar levels.) However, in the core countries of the eurozone, such as Germany and France, fertility rates have been flat or even risen.

And since 2008, when the Great Recession struck, "the fertility rate in Spain, Greece and Ireland has notably fallen." Along with all of the bank accounts of those nations and their residents, during the recession! (- Jay Leno). This will just make those broke ass countries more empty and depressed, down the line. Do you want the Germans to control everything forever? Everyone go fuck an Irishman immediately, for the good of the continent.

[FT. Photo: Flickr]