The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Future gag-gift-giving uncle Prince Harry is wrapping up his Spring Break tour of the U.S. with a polo match in Connecticut today, because nothing says "I am a man of the people and I 'get' America" quite like a spirited polo event in the rough-and-tumble Nutmeg State.

Harry made a lot of friends on the six-day trip, charming the nation by gamely showing up to all of his scheduled events and taking off his suit jacket when it was time to get real. Many people even forgot why the United States fought so hard to free itself from British rule in the first place.

Everywhere he went, the prince was showered with truly adequate stocking stuffers and it was like ohmygodAmerica, please stop embarrassing me in front of Harry.

Here's a list of everything America gave to Prince Harry while he was here:

A voodoo doll to use on himself.

The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A fleece.

The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A shirt.

The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A shirt.

The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A shirt.

The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A bus pass.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

An ass whuppin'.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Some skin.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Toys.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A gambling addiction.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

The mic.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

The ball.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

The creeps.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Horns, if you squint.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Our attention.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Our undivided attention.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A deeper comprehension of the horrors and devastation wrought by Hurricane Sandy.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A hat.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

An 18-year-old girl in peak physical condition.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

An idea for a weird sex thing.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Sneaks.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A good stern talking-to.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

Vittles.
The Complete List of Things America Gave to Prince Harry

A crapper.

[Images via AP, Getty, and Twitter/Top image by Jim Cooke/@GovChristie]

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