I haven't seen anything this disgusting on TLC since the bug-eating enthusiast ate a giant caterpillar that a non-enthusiast went on to describe as tasting like a bad clam. And I've seen a lot of disgusting shit on TLC—I'm an avid watcher of Toddlers & Tiaras.

This happened on one of last night's episodes of Extreme Cheapskates, one in a long line of TLC programming that rewards batshit eccentricity by allowing people 10-minute soliloquies about themselves (in this case, the people go on and on about their insane and often disgusting penny-saving practices like wiping their asses with washcloths that they wash and reuse, and washing plates in their children's wading pools). Amy, the subject of the segment, is a multi-millionaire property owner (TLC values her at $5.3 million), who owns one knife (that she doesn't let touch water, preferring to wipe it off when she's done with it—hopefully not with a shitrag, used or not). She drives a 17-year-old car.

She also feeds unsuspecting friends, such as her ex-husband, cat food. This saves her 30 cents per fraudulent tuna sandwich. "Mmm, that's good," says her ex while digging into what looks like the most questionable plate of chipped beef on toast imaginable. Basically, they deserve each other: two crazy kids who are somehow making their friendship work against the odds, and saving quarters while they're at it.