The Shutdown Has Ended

Senator Ted Cruz may not like Obamacare in a box, with a fox, in a house, or with a mouse, but it looks like he’ll have to try it anyway. Because the Tea Party, still clinging to their Confederate flags and Muslim president horseshit, lost their battle with President Stompy Feet and the Democrats Wednesday night.

A Senate-brokered bill passed in the Senate with a vote of 81-18 and then passed in the House with a final vote of 285-144. Not a single House Democrat voted against the bill, in opposition to the 62% of House Republicans who voted against it. President Barack Obama then signed the bill into law, officially ending the shutdown shortly after midnight. The White House budget office informed all federal workers they should plan to return to work Thursday morning.

The deal structured in the Senate reopens the government and funds it until January 15. It also lifts the debt limit until February 7 to avoid a possible default on U.S. debt and it forces the Department of Health and Human Services to certify income eligibility of people applying for government subsidies for health insurance..

Asked earlier in the evening whether he thought this process would repeat itself in several months, Obama offered a firm "no."

[Image via AP]