The Netherlands Has a New King; Time to Invade the Netherlands

The Netherlands' beloved Queen Beatrix officially abdicated her throne on Tuesday, making her son Willem-Alexander the nation's first king since 1890.

At 46, Willem-Alexander is Europe's youngest, and possibly chillest, monarch. His wife Maxima, 41, is famous for being Britney Spears. The eldest of the couple's three daughters, Princess Catharina-Amalia, is, at 9, the new heir apparent to the Dutch throne. It is unknown whether she, like fellow power-child King Joffrey, has a taste for blood.

Willem-Alexander was sworn in as king at a ceremony attended by thousands of Dutch people dressed in orange in Amsterdam on Tuesday morning. Festivities will continue through the evening culminating in something every news agency is referring to simply as "a water pageant," as though that's a normal phrase that everyone knows and uses.

Last night, visiting heads of state arrived at Amsterdam's Rijksmuseum, for a dinner at which many women wore tiaras unironically. (It kind of looked like a fancy prom.) The meal was held in the shadow of Rembrandt's painting The Night Watch, really hammering home the Dutchness of the whole affair. At the end of the meal, everyone split the check (probably).

In an interview earlier this month, then-Prince Willem-Alexander suggested his reign will have an informal, Texas tuxedo vibe, when he revealed he doesn't expect to be called "Your majesty."

"I'm not a protocol fetishist. People can address me however they want. For me, it is about people feeling at ease when I'm with them."

Give our love to Britney, fuckface.

[BBC // Image via Getty]

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